


Dirt & Velvet

by ShippingEruri (shippingeruri)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Art, BDSM, Blood, Canes, Crime Fighting, Crime Scenes, Crimes & Criminals, Deepthroating, Developing Relationship, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Judaism, LLF Comment Project, London, M/M, Murder, Murder Mystery, Mystery, Opium, Organized Crime, Past Child Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Police, Prostitution, Psychological Trauma, Relationship(s), Rope Bondage, Scotland Yard, Self-Harm, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, Vaginal Fingering, Victorian Era AU, Voyeurism, Whitechapel - Freeform, endgame eruri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2018-10-18 01:08:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 69,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10606161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shippingeruri/pseuds/ShippingEruri
Summary: London. 1879.The Victorian Era is on its peak and offers never before seen opportunites. While the western part of the city gets richer and richer the people in the east are fighting to survive. Crime and murder, rape and blackmail are the daily business. People are dying on the streets and the majority just doesn't care as long as they have something in their stomach and somehow survive. No one, not even the police, seems to be able to stop this depravity of human behaviour.Living in a small attic apartment within the streets of Whitechapel, Levi finds himself climbing up the ranks of organized crime, profiting from the ruin of morals.On a cold January day Chief Police Inspector Erwin Smith joins the police in Whitechapel after he left his once beloved south coast. He soon gets involved in the hunt for a serial killer that strikes with tremendous force.~Cover for Dirt & Velvet by varrix.Spotify-Playlist for Dirt & Velvet





	1. Goodbye

It was a cold and wet January morning when a carriage arrived in Eastbourne and stopped in front of Erwin's home. He had heard the horses long before he had seen the carriage in the fog that was covering the muddy area. 

As he stepped outside the front door of the house he grew up in the coachman was stretching on the seat in front of the dark wooden carriage and then gave Erwin an excusing look. 

“Pardon me, Mister Smith, Sir. It was a long ride and the weather was really nasty.”, the man apologized with a heavy London accent as he climbed down from his seat.

Erwin stood in the mud in front if his doorstep, rain pouring down on his black tweed coat. 

“No need to excuse yourself. If you want a hot tea I'd be more than happy to welcome you to my house one last time.”, Erwin declared and the coachman approached him, slowly reaching out his hand.

“Thank you, Mister Smith. That'd be really nice. I'm Benny, Benny Baker.”, he replied as Erwin shook hands with him. 

“You're very welcome.”, Erwin replied and opened the front door to let the man enter. “No need to take off your shoes. This house won't be used any longer.”, Erwin hinted with a determined voice as Benny was about to take off his shoes. 

“Thank you, Mister Smith, Sir.”

While Erwin used the rest of the hot water with which he had made himself a tea a few minutes ago to fill Benny Baker a cup of hot Earl Grey tea, Benny looked around. 

“A nice place you got here, Mister Smith.”

“Thank you.”

“Pardon me asking but why'd you prefer a crowded city like London and than that shithole Whitechapel over this place?”

“That's none of your business.”, Erwin's voice left no room for interpretation. This was nothing he would talk about.

“Pardon me, Sir. None of my business of course.”, Benny mumbled while Erwin put the tea in front of him. His blues eyes examined the chubby face, all rosy from the rain and cold.

Mouse grey eyes blinked at him. The coachman was feeling uncomfortable, Erwin could see and feel it. As if the cold sweat running down his neck and his leg wobbling under the wooden table weren't enough to prove, Benny Baker also wouldn't stop to clear his throat with one of the most annoying sounds Erwin could imagine at the moment. 

Erwin slowly walked around and examined all the things he'd leave behind and nodded to himself. It was the right decision to leave Eastbourne and go to London. There was nothing for him here anyway. No longer.

Erwin didn't pay much attention to the man that was drinking his tea before it was properly brewed. The right corner of his mouth just went up slightly, not hinting if amused or disgusted. 

“What a pitiful man.”, Erwin thought to himself as he slowly approached the old piano that had caught his attention. His fingers gently touched the ivories after he had opened the wooden cover. 

His mother used to play for him when he was a child. She had a beautiful voice, a delighting, soft and yet strong voice that would touch the listener's heart. How much she'd have loved to sing for grandchildren...

“Pardon me again, Mister Smith. Could I maybe, if it's not too much trouble, and I really don't like aski-”

“The building outside to your left.”, Erwin interrupted the coachman that was obviously asking for a place to empty his bladder. 

“Thank you, Mister Smith. The tea was really good.”, Benny replied while emptying his cup and getting up. 

“If you'd give me your luggage, I'm gonna take that to the carria-”

“I'm quite capable of taking care of that on my own, thank you.”, Erwin let him know as he turned towards the staircase. “You take care of your business, I take care of mine.” Erwin's eyes fixed on Benny's face who bowed modestly.

“Yes of course, Mister Smith, Sir. Take your time.”

Erwin waited until the front door was closed before he went up the stairs. His fingers were gently touching the cool walls as he looked inside every room. His gaze wandered over all the small things that had meaning to him. Or did have meaning to him until now. But this was a goodbye. A final goodbye. 

He wandered through the room he spend most of his childhood in; his father's library and with a soft smile he looked at the backs of the books that first his father read to him and as soon as he was old enough, he read over and over again on his own. 

How long has it been? When did he leave? Why did he leave? 

Portsmouth, a day's journey, became his home as soon as he was old enough to join the police. For almost 20 years he came visiting his parents almost every weekend and when he was in his 20's, climbing up the ranks in the police, he also introduced them to a girl he met in Portsmouth. Mary. 

Mary was a charming, young lady with a bright smile, a big heart and a sense for justice that impressed Erwin immediately. They would go dancing together, enjoy a theater performance or a good meal. Erwin spent all his money, which wasn't a lot while being in training, to give Mary a good time. She was a secretary at the police school he attended and at first their relationship had to be a secret.

At least that's what she told him. 

“Nobody here can know, Erwin. I'm risking my job, you're risking your job.”

Erwin's parents loved her and when they were in Eastbourne she wouldn't make a secret about their relationship. So Erwin's plan had been to finish police school quickly and go back to Eastbourne as a real police officer, together with Mary.

But they didn't.

“I'm sorry, Erwin. I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna go to London with Nile.”

Nile had been a fellow trainee and they were really close. They started in the same year, were living in the same building and took classes together. They went out together, they had drinks together and everyone assumed that they were really good friends.

At least that's what Erwin also thought. But obviously Nile and Mary had been seeing each other behind his back and now he was all alone. His friend gone, the women he loved gone.

Nile didn't even say goodbye or try to explain why and what was happening. They just disappeared from his life.

So Erwin staid in Portsmouth and only rarely came to visit his parents. Eastbourne had been the place where Mary showed her affection openly and it was too painful for him to be around there.

Erwin focused on the opportunities the police had to offer and about 10 years later he was a Chief Police Inspector. An honored and valuable member of the English police.

He had women and later on sometimes men to share his bed in lonely nights but he wouldn't attach himself to anyone. To protect himself from getting vulnerable, to protect himself from getting hurt. And it worked out for him although his parents weren't quite happy with his choice. He was an only child since his mother had several misscarriages.

The roaring sound of thunder suddenly pulled him out of his thoughts. Tears were filling his eyes as he was still standing in the room where he spent so much time as a child. Rain clattered against the windows and the lightening outside gave the room a very unnatural look.

He blinked away the tears and walked towards the window. This would be the last time he would see this view that he had seen a hundred times before. And yet Erwin couldn't help but smile. If he would stay here, he probably would walk the same path as his mother.

London would be a fresh start. A new life. An yet exciting opportunity.

~~~

He travelled light. He only had a small bag with his papers and some clothes for the first days. 

As he locked the front door a sad smile crossed his face. “Goodbye.”, he whispered to himself in the pouring rain and put on his hat. 

With fast steps, as if he could change his mind if he would be too slow, he approached the carriage and before Benny was able to climb down from his seat, Erwin already had opened the door and got himself in. 

“Let's go, Mister Baker, off to London and no unnecessary halts.”, Erwin screamed against the roaring thunder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to some lovely people on Tumblr I'm now starting my first ever full fanfic in another than my native language that will have a ton of chapters. This story has been with me >2 years now and once started as a roleplay. It's building up slowly and I hope you bear with me until it's finished. I can not tell you how many chapters this will have. It'll be done when it's done. I don't follow an updating schedule because I write when I feel like it.
> 
> I'm planning on alternating chapters (Erwin & Levi) and might throw in other character's chapters later (you can expect the whole variety of SnK characters from veterans over 104th to MP). The tags will get updated regularly (especially the relationships & characters). For the beginning they just should give you a rough idea of what to expect.
> 
> Important: This work is fiction! I do not stick to historically correct circumstances but I try to where possible.
> 
> ***
> 
> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject) whose goal is to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and will reply to:
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
> 



	2. Home / The Attic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daily business for Levi and a relaxing bath back home.

A cracking sound filled the moist night air. A familiar sound as if wood breaks or someone bites into an apple. Nuts getting cracked open, flames burning the dry wood in a fireplace. 

What followed was the pain. A pain Levi got used to. Hard and direct it stung while he heard his own blood rushing. His heart rate was a bit higher than usual yet he was calm. The adrenaline was a natural reaction, nothing he could influence. 

While he gently stroke the knuckles of his right hand and stretched his neck to the left, the man in front of him sunk to his knees. Blood was gashing from his nose and from what Levi could see he broke the bridge of the nose.

“Oy, talk to me, will ya?”, the man, who paid Levi a guinea in advance and would give him another one when the job was done, screamed at the sobbing mess.

Levi wetted his lips, his eyes were scanning the surrounding as his employer grabbed his victim by the dirty collar. The dark alley was silent, it was past midnight and nobody would be out in this fucking shit weather without a good reason. Two guinea were a good reason for Levi.

“Open ya mouth, ya facking wank'r!”, he screamed at him but besides sobbing and painful groaning nothing left the man's lips.

Levi took a deep breathe while he pushed away his employer. With a hard and well placed kick his boot found his way between the man's legs. Levi narrowed his eyes when he could feel the impact and the face of his victim grimaced with a silent scream leaving his lips.

A deep and amused laughter from his client caused Levi to turn his head away.

“You pong like a drowned pig.”, Levi muttered to himself. 

The smell of alcohol was disgusting and Levi's body tensed as he felt the urge to throw up. He just didn't get how people would voluntarily pour down this shit and then smell even worse than they would do without.

Their victim was now crying, his body rolling on the wet, dirty and unpaved ground while he was holding on to his crotch.

Levi made another attempt to place a kick but suddenly the man found his voice.

“I'ma talk, I'ma talk!”, he spoke with cracked voice. 

“Finally.”, the ponged pig sighed.

“Ove' at Fenchurch. Ask fo' a man nam'd Gunther. He migh' help ya.”, he spoke slowly but well-considered.

“Thank ya, that's all I wann't to hea'.”, Levi's employer said with a wide smile and handed Levi a pound and a shilling.

Without saying anything further or looking back, Levi walked away. He cleaned the coins with a handkerchief before putting them in his purse. He sighed disgusted as he tried to clean his fingers with the cloth as well but then wiped them on his coat. He would take a bath when he was home. 

The silence one would usually experience at night was nowhere to be found in the main streets of Whitechapel. There was laughter, there was chatter, there were screams and one could always hear someone pissing or puking and even fucking. For a moment Levi asked himself why no one was around while he did his business.

When he was back on Brick Lane at least the air got a bit better as a cold wind was blowing in his face while walking south. The dim light of the gas lamps prevented that Levi would step into ankle deep puddles as he navigated towards his home again.

~~~

The smell in his apartment was distinguishing and he took a deep breathe after he closed the door that would separate him from the rest of the three-storeyed building. 

It smelled heavy, oily but mixed with the sweet scent of flowers. 

He had carried up two buckets of water from the backyard of the building and placed them next to the metal bathtub. This was one of his main reasons why he wanted to move in here: a well just for the people in this building. 

The apartment was small but had everything he needed. 

A small kitchen area with a table and a chair by a small window, facing east. A cooker, that he barely used for cooking but for heating also had place. Next to it was his bed. A heavy and massive construction that he got from one of his employers a few months ago. The mattress was the best he had ever had and the pillow and blanket were filled with goose feathers. 

A small bed stand was pushed between the bed and the tub that was next to his bed. This was the first thing that found its way up here when he moved in the apartment. There was a window, facing west, next to the tub and alongside was his wardrobe, followed by a small chest of drawers.

Before he could get comfortable, he needed to fetch some wood from the basement. Another perk of this building as old as it was. The landlord, a pub owner that was barely seen, stored his firewood in the basement. Of course it was locked away, but Levi knew how to open a simple padlock and then close it again. So far, his landlord hasn't noticed. 

Finally up in his attic apartment again, he locked the door, closed the windows and lit some of the oil lamps before filling the two buckets of water into the small metal tub. The firewood was placed in a metal construction below and with some old newspapers and a match he got a fire burning. It was routine. He took a bath at least every other day.

There would be no need in heating the apartment as a hot bath would do the same. As soon as he would be in bed, he just didn't care anymore of the temperature outside the blanket.

While the flames slowly licked at the dry wood Levi finally opened the buttons of his black tweed coat. It was at least one size too big for him but it was of fine quality and has kept him dry during the wet winter. The heavy fabric got hung up on a small hook on the door. 

While turning around again his fingers began to unbutton his shirt. A simple, white shirt the was a bit too loose on the waist but that was just right around the shoulders. It was his usual shirt for a job like this.

As he slowly pulled the shirt out of his trousers, he closed his eyes. The room wasn't yet heated enough and he hated the cold. While the sleeves slowly were removed his skin already reacted to the cool air and goosebumps spread across his arms.

After the shirt found its way over the end of the bed he grabbed the white vest and pulled it up over his head. 

“Shit.”, Levi cursed as he started shivering and hastily opened the buttons of his trousers. Those weren't put over the end of the bed, but found their way on a little hanger. The wet endings would have to dry first.

His underclothing was removed with another silent curse and he immediately came closer to the tub and let his hand slide through the water.

The water still wasn't hot, of course it wasn't. The fire just barely burned for a few minutes. Levi took one step to the side and grabbed the thick blanket and hung it around his shoulders.

While sitting down on the edge of the bed and waiting for the water to heat up, his eyes were fixed to the window. Although he couldn't see the sky as it was past midnight and heavy clouds were hanging over London all day long, he enjoyed the peacefulness that the dark night sky had.

It was about to start raining again and he could hear the first raindrops scatter against his window. 

“Will you heat up now?”, he mumbled and kicked the tub. 

~~~

As his body was embraced by the hot water he let out a relaxed gasp. His eyes closed with fluttering lashes and he got himself as comfortable as possible. The tub was barely big enough for him to stretch so either his torso would not be covered or he would have to bend his knees.

Levi went for the latter. His chin touched the water surface and for a moment he just lay still, welcoming the heat that slowly but surely replaced the cold in his muscles and bones.

Gently his hands wandered over his thighs and circled his knees that were sticking out of the water to give them some of the warmth as well.

The evening had been good. He got enough money for the rent for the whole month and tomorrow he could go and satisfy two of his needs.

Thinking about it made him smile in anticipation and he could feel his body tense a bit. 

How long has it been?

His hands wandered down his thighs again and his wrist touched his no longer flaccid cock. 

Too long, obviously.

Levi had his eyes still closed as he placed his right hand around his cock with a firm grip. He let out a desperate gasp and licked his lips as he positioned himself a bit different, spreading his legs further apart.

With gentle strokes he began to move his right hand, letting out a satisfied gasp with every stroke.

His left hand wandered over his abdomen, gently scratching the skin, feeling his tensed muscles and reaching for his left nipple.

As his grip around his now hardened cock got harder, his gasps turned into soft moaning. The fingers of his left hand circled his nipple before gently stroking the sensitive skin that reacted right away.

The water surface was in motion, some drops spilling over the edge as his body began to move against his hand.

Every stroke intensified while Levi gently pinched his nipple and bit his lower lip.

“Fuck.”, he cursed as the excitement grew with every second.

He opened his eyes in surprise as a roaring thunder filled the night and Levi's cock was throbbing heavily in his hand as he didn't move for a second.

With a nice and deep breathe he closed his eyes again, licked his lips and continued to pleasure himself.

He nibbled on his lower lip sucked on it as his breathing intensified and his cock was throbbing and jerking in his hand.

The water was now in constant motion as his right arm was moving practised and fast while his fingers were digging into his cock and nipple alike.

He wanted to come, wanted to find relief.

And as quick as everything had build up, as quick came his climax. 

The orgasm was rolling through his body in heavy waves, letting his legs shake and his abdomen tense. He pressed his jaws together, biting his tongue as he was breathing heavily through his nose.

Then he let go with a deeply pleasured moan while his eyebrows furrowed uncontrolled and his head fell back.

His cock was tensing in rhythm with his whole body and with quick, shallow breathes he opened his eyes. 

The orgasm wasn't too long or too intense but it was just right after an evening like this. After his release he frowned a bit.

“Tch. Now I'm dirty again.”, he spoke to himself as the sperm was spreading in the water. 

He lifted himself, tumbling a bit as the cold air in his apartment was a harsh contrast to the welcoming warmth of the water. His right hand reached for the towel hanging on the hook on the wardrobe and he started to dry himself.

The pyjama he pulled out was a gift from Farlan. Like so many other things in his wardrobe he got from his best friend.

Maybe he should pay him a visit tomorrow, they hadn't seen each other for a few weeks.

~~~

Only ten minutes away, Chief Police Inspector Erwin Smith arrived in the middle of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, it's not even been 12 hours since I published Chapter I, but this needed to get out right away. It ran out of my fingers which I'm really thankful for <3


	3. Welcome to London

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin gets to know two of his colleagues and remembers something ... his reason for coming to London.

The journey was horrible and Erwin felt like sleeping for at least one day after his arrival.

One of the spokes on a wheel had broken when they were only a few hours away from London on the second day of their journey.

Luckily, there was a wood worker in a nearby village who was able to fix the wheel quickly. But nevertheless the already pretty uncomfortable journey got delayed by a few hours.

His body was exhausted and his brain was drowning in gin. He wanted to avoid being left alone with his thoughts while travelling through the country so he had decided to make the best of the journey.

At some point he fell in a sleep-like state although he would arrive soon. One couldn't call it sleep since the blond was restlessly rolling his head from one side to another while the cold kept the sleep away.

The next time he opened his eyes they were crossing a bridge and he realised that this was not another small town creek they passed but this was the Thames and while he wiped away the drool from his chin and got himself in an upright position again, his eyes scanned the surroundings.

There wasn't much to see. It was pitch black night, heavy rain clouds covered the sky and only some lamps would provide a faint light. It was raining cats and dogs and the sound of heavy rain on the carriage and the street drowned all other sounds.

Erwin tried to sort his mind and yet he was struggling to think clearly – almost two days of drinking while sitting in a small carriage took its toll.

A few minutes later Benny slowed down the horses and he knocked against the wooden carriage.

“Mister Smith, Sir. We're here. A bit late, but we are here.”, he let him know. His voice clearly showing relief.

Erwin cleared his throat and the urge to vomit came along with it. He barely had eaten and the bit of water he had drunken didn't really cover for the high quality gin he had taken with him.

“You're awake, Mister Smith? I think there's someone waiting for you, Sir.”, Benny spoke.

“Yes, I'm awake.”, Erwin replied with husky voice.

_Am I really? Is this maybe all just a bad dream?_

A few seconds later the carriage stopped and Erwin could hear a woman talking. He narrowed his eyebrows. At this time? All alone? In Whitechapel?

But then he remembered the letter he had received from Commissioner Zackly. The Chief Secretary of his police station-to-be would pick him up. Petra Ral was her name if he remembered correctly.

Benny opened the door of the carriage and Erwin stepped out, tumbling a bit from sitting for such a long time and … well, the gin. Nevertheless, his manners let him take off his hat in front of a woman.

“Chief Police Inspector Smith, Sir.”, the small woman greeted him from below her umbrella and offered to take his bag. “I'm Petra Ral, it's an honour to meet you.”, she said with a friendly smile while Erwin was thankful that she took his bag. “Commissioner Zackly informed you that I will pick you up?”, she asked to make sure the man that looked like a mess was the right person.

Erwin didn't answer right away as he felt bile rising up from his stomach so he pressed his jaws together and forced himself to swallow the bit of saliva he had in his mouth with heavy force.

Benny laughed: “Ay m' lady. That's the right one, picked him up by myself. He didn't take the journey too well it seems. And also, apologies for letting you wait so long. One of my wheels-”

“No problem, Benny. I know it's not your fault. You are a reliable coachman, maybe one of the best Scotland Yard has to offer.”, she smiled at him and Benny bowed modestly.

“Thank you, m' lady.”, he spoke before giving the tall blond a final look.

“See you then, Mister Smith, Sir.”, he spoke as he reached out to take Erwin's hand one last time.

“Thank you, Mister Baker. Take care and have a good way home.”, Erwin found his speech again yet he spoke with low voice while the coachman climbed up on his seat again.

The young woman was wearing a long and heavy coat that covered her head and her whole body. Her pretty face with that welcoming smile was a nice change for Erwin. He started to regret having drunk that much as he reached out for her shoulder to steady himself. His legs gave in, his brain couldn't coordinate his movement properly. This was bad. He acted like an uneducated, filthy man.

“Pardon me, Miss Ral. I'm very... exhausted.”, he mumbled as he pulled back his hand and straightened himself.

_I can't act like this in front of the Chief Secretary of my new police station. Pull yourself together, Erwin!_

Her eyes widened but she didn't pull back as he held on to her shoulder.

“It's... It's alright, Mister Smith. I can only imagine how exhausting this journey must have been for you. Please follow me this way, you can rest soon.”, she explained, her face still offering a bright smile.

_Does she smell the gin? Does she pity me?_

The blonde straightened his shoulders and put on his hat again, hair now all wet from the rain, as he followed her.

They walked through the rain for no more than two minutes. While walking, Petra explained to him that he would stay with the doctor of the police station for the first nights. The apartment they wanted to rent for him was in a too bad condition to properly provide him shelter. Erwin didn't care. He just wanted water to refresh himself, a roof over his head and a bed to sleep in.

Small alleys were leading to smaller ones until they reached their destiny. Petra opened a red door with a key that she pulled out of her pocket. Then she offered it to Erwin.

“Yours for the time being”. Small, warm fingers touched his palm for a second.

They entered a narrow staircase and went up to the first floor where Petra would knock on the door and raised her voice: “Dr. Zoe? It's Petra Ral, I'm bringing Chief Police Inspector Smith.”

“He's a bit... special, just so you know.”, she whispered and Erwin let out a sigh.

He would want some peace and quiet and if this doctor would stress him, they would indeed have a problem.

“On my way!”, one could hear muffled from the inside, the sound of glasses colliding as well as something heavy being placed somewhere.

Petra wore a confident smile but her eyes hinted at tension.

_She hopes we get along. So do I._

The door was opened by a man that was smaller and more slender than him. His cinnamon brown hair was bound back in a wild ponytail and from under very odd glasses umber eyes examined the arrivals.

“Good evening, Dr. Zoe. Excuse us for being late.”, Petra smiled friendly and stepped aside.

“Dr. Zoe this is Chief Police Inspector Erwin Smith. Mister Smith this is Dr. Zoe.”, she introduced the two of them and Erwin offered his hand.

Dr. Zoe narrowed his eyes a bit and adjusted the glasses on his nose before slowly reaching our for Erwin's hand.

“Good to meet you, we're running a bit short on manpower at the police station.”, he declared while shaking Erwin's hand with a firm grip. His voice was warm and friendly.

“The pleasure is all mine.”, Erwin replied while his eyes quickly wandered over the well-worn clothes the doctor was wearing.

_Simple, used clothes in plain colours. A simple man with a simple life? Where was that “special” thing about him?_

“I'll see you tomorrow then? Commissioner Zackly organized a small welcome party at Scotland Yard. So you get to know everyone.”, Petra let Erwin know while she dropped his bag and left the two alone.

“Have a good night.”. Her small hand raised before she was gone on the staircase again.

“Come on in then.”, Dr. Zoe invited Erwin who had taken his bag and entered.

“I hope it's alright for you to stay here? I'm not used to … having visitors but I have a spare bedroom in which I usually store some of my things. It's upstairs.”, he let Erwin know who took a look around.

A mix of scents, Erwin never had experienced before, got in his nose.

_Vinegar, wood, dust, something very heavy scented like a perfume and chemicals I can't identify._

The living room of the apartment was quite big, maybe 25 square metres with two doors on the right while a small circular stair was on the left. Right before them was a very big and well used red couch. Bigger than any couch Erwin had ever seen.

“Inherited.”, Dr. Zoe explained since Erwin stared pretty obviously while Dr. Zoe tried to tidy up a bit around them.

Behind the couch was a table covered with books. Books also covered parts of the big red carpet that perfectly matched with the colour of the couch and covered more than half of the floor.

Next to the circular stair and in front of the couch was a fireplace in which a small fire was burning. Behind it was a table with all kind of glasses, vials and some chemical instruments from what Erwin could make out.

Two huge windows, partly covered with massive black curtains were on the opposite side of the room from where Erwin was standing, examining the apartment in awe. Next to the table with the books, towards the windows was a small kitchen unit with lots of dirty dishes.

“The wet room is right here.”, Dr. Zoe opened the first door to Erwin's right.

“And that is my bedroom. Not much to see here, but if you want to take a look?”, the brown-haired offered with a bright smile.

“No need for that, thank you.”, Erwin let him know with a friendly smile.

“I'll show you your bedroom then?” - “Yes, that would be... very much appreciated.”

Following the slender man up the stairs Erwin stumbled a bit again. His vision betrayed him, his sense of balance even more.

“Careful. It's a bit tricky in the beginning, but you'll get used to it... should you want to stay here longer.”, Dr. Zoe let Erwin know as they both arrived on the small gallery where more books were stored and a door was to be found.

“I didn't even thank you properly yet for having me. I heard there was a problem with the apartment I was to move in? So thank you, Dr. Zoe, it's nice to have a place to stay in a city one doesn't know.”, Erwin spoke upright and the doctor offered him a warm smile.

“No worries, I was the one to offer to have you here when I overheard Petra talking to the ol' Pixis about the problem. It's my pleasure. And I'm sure a man like you can adapt to this very unique city quickly.”, Dr. Zoe informed Erwin who looked very surprised.

“And now, have a look at your bedroom. I tried to clean it properly but as I said; I used it as a storage so I couldn't put everything out. Just move the boxes around if they are in your way.”, the doctor spoke while opening the door.

Erwin entered and blinked into the barely visible room. Dr. Zoe walked in and within seconds had a lamp burning.

There was a big wardrobe and a matching, equally big chest of drawers. Next to it a small desk with a filigree chair in front, a square window in front, letting nothing but the dark night in at the moment.

On the wall opposite of the door a huge and massive dark wooden bed was placed. The wall to his right had two big windows covered with the same black curtains as the windows in the living room. A small fireplace was settled between them. Crates and boxes were spread throughout the room.

“It's not too big and nothing special but it should do, right?”, the doctor asked, seeming a bit nervous while Erwin slowly walked in.

Erwin blinked as he turned around and his face showed a thankful smile.

“It most surely is a nice room and I'm really in your debt, Dr. Zoe.”, Erwin said as he slowly let down his bag.

“Ah, no worries, Mister Smith... by the way, would you mind... I mean we're sharing an apartment now. Please call me Hans.”, the doctor spoke with another bright smile but his eyes hinted insecurity.

A rather small hand was offered and Erwin stepped closer.

“I'm Erwin. Thank you, Hans, really. This is more than I actually was hoping for. Everything is nicely furnished already and you even have a wet room.”

His big hand grabbed around slender fingers and the two men exchanged a firm handshake.

“Thank god, I was a bit afraid that our newest member would be … you know … very formal and … so, I'm glad you seem to be a friendly man, Erwin.”, Hans stumbled through his own words and a soft chuckle followed.

Erwin narrowed his brows as his face hinted a smile.

“I try to be a good man and obviously you are a very kind man.”, Erwin agreed.

“Ah, it's nothing. Really. Would you like to eat something? I still have some stew.”, Hans asked.

“Oh god, please yes. I'm starving.”, Erwin let out, relieved, and then they both laughed at his sudden outburst.

_This Hans really seems to be a very open-minded person. Very passionate about his work and far ahead of our time. Brilliant ideas and with a vision._

~~~

“I'll leave you to your own then. I'll be off to the police station tomorrow in the morning but you can sleep in. Your first duty will be to attend that party at Scotland Yard in the evening. I'll go there with you. Everyone wants to get to know the famous crime solver from the south.”, Hans said after he'd shown Erwin how to get water in the tub and how to heat it.

“Oh, and I'll leave a key for the apartment on the …”, he was thinking about a good place obviously. “On the mantelpiece.”, he concluded with another friendly smile.

“Thank you, Hans. I appreciate your kindness. The stew was really good and the wine went along with it perfectly.”, Erwin replied before taking a deep breath.

“Famous crime solver from the south?”, he couldn't not ask.

“About six years back you caught a murderer somewhere down there and when you applied to be re-located to London, Zackly let us know about it. You barely had any traces, no real leads, yet you somehow managed to catch them. Leman Street is really looking forward to having you.”, Hans informed him, excitement showing in his eyes.

The corners of Erwin's mouth went up and he nodded softly.

“I'm also looking forward to getting to know everyone.”, he said.

They'd had a good conversation, Hans was definitely someone to get along with. A bit of an eccentric, but not in a bad way.

He had told Erwin in detail about his current projects besides doing work for the police. Something chemical Erwin couldn't follow but nevertheless he was fascinated by the vivid explanations and examples. Also some hints about his new co-workers at the police station had been dropped and Erwin's expectations for his new start in London had grown even more.

“Great. So take your time now, no need to hurry. Please feel like home.”, Hans spoke with a warm voice while walking towards the door.

“Good night. And thank you again!”

“Ah, no need to thank me that often. Have a good night as well.”

The wine made his limbs even heavier than they'd already been and his brain felt numbed.

After Erwin had taken off his clothes and got in the bathtub, he was afraid to faint. His vision went blurry and all power left his muscles. His body sunk down heavily into the ceramic tub, water spilling over the edges.  
A sigh left his lips as he shivered. Eyes were opened forcefully to prevent losing consciousness.

He tried to lay relaxed and concentrate on his breathing. His body was exhausted and within minutes he drifted off to a sleep-like state again as previously in the carriage.

~~~

“Mother, I've not been able to … I couldn't …”

Erwin's voice cracked as his eyes were filling with tears.

“I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry, please forgive me.”, he sighed as his shoulders began to shake and he lowered his head.

“It's fine, Erwin. It was not your fault.”

Sweet yet deeply broken his mother's voice reached him.

“You're a good son, Erwin. Everything your father and I ever wished for.”

Almost silently she took a deep breath.

Tears were running down his cheeks and he was hiding his face behinds his hands. Heavy sobbing shook his whole body.

“I couldn't prevent it and I was not able to reveal the truth, mother.”

His voice was merely a whisper.

“Your father's murder is not your fault, Erwin.”,

Her voice soft but starting to crack. Erwin let out a desperate cry.

“Enough now, Erwin. You have to concentrate on your future.”

A small hand was placed on his shoulder, fingers gently stroking over the cloth. Erwin's body tensed. When was the last time his mother had tried to comfort him? Why was he not the one to console his mother?

_I didn't even grieve properly. I still don't want to believe this had happened._

“You've done everything you could and even more. You took unpaid leave from the police and tried to find the ones behind this.”

“But I couldn't find them!”, Erwin desperately spoke, voice getting louder as he looked up, tears covering his face, to look squarely into his mother's eyes.

They looked dead. Like no soul was behind them. The woman inside – gone.

A weak smile crossed her lips as she got herself up.

“You've been away for a few months now and I'm happy that I now have my son with me. I'm going make you your favourite dish.”

Erwin let her go, body still shaking uncontrolled, only when she was by the entrance door he found his voice again after he had cleared his throat.

“Where are you going?”

“To get some firewood, you just stay here.”

She looked back at him, eyes still dead, a big smile on her lips.

Erwin slightly nodded.

Minutes passed in which he was sitting on the couch by the fireplace next to the piano which his mother used to play for him. Had she played the piano after Erwin left for Portsmouth? Had she played for his father, her loving husband?

Erwin had been away for a few weeks now. After his father had been found dead, stabbed several times in the torso, he only had returned home a few days before he had set out to follow every lead, every little hint he could find.

It was all in vain. And he hadn't even been here for his mother. Had not been here for the funeral while he was trying to find the one behind the murder.

_I'm a horrible son._

His father had been a teacher in the school in Eastbourne. A good, honest man. He had been friendly with everyone and even the people he hadn't liked he treated with respect. Yet still someone wanted to end his life.

_Who and why?_

Erwin was obsessed with finding out the truth after the police in Eastbourne stopped searching for the culprit. This was wrongful, a fraud against a respected member of the community. So Erwin had taken matters into his own hands.

And yet he came back empty handed. Presenting his mother nothing but a sobbing, crying son.

_How long had she been gone to get firewood?_

Hasty steps brought him to the front door and he could see the door to their small storehouse was open.

“Mother?”, he asked loudly as he left the house.

No reply.

“Mother, is everything alright?”, he asked louder, slowly taking up pace.

The small storehouse was lit with a lamp and Erwin widened his eyes as he saw his mother laying on the floor, blood gushing out of the flesh wound on her throat in red waves with every breath she tried to take.

“Mother!”, Erwin whispered as he froze for a moment.

She opened her mouth tried to say something but only blood left her still smiling lips as she reached out with her hand for her son.

~~~

A loud cracking sound ripped him out of his memories.

“Sorry, I... dropped something!”, Dr. Zoe loudly spoke from his room next to the wet room yet his voice arrived only muffled.

Erwin was shaking, tears running down his face as he tried to find a steady breath again. Fingers shivered, grasping for the edge of the tub.

His heart was beating hard and loud against his chest, his throat felt constricted and his jaws were pressing together, nasal wings widened.

This was not the kind of start in London that he had in mind when he got in contact with Scotland Yard via his police station in Portsmouth.

After his mother's failed attempted suicide she was brought to a hospital for the mental ill in Wales. He had been able to stop the bleeding and to carry her to the town centre where a doctor had been able to save her. Luckily she had only cut deep enough to damage her trachea and destroy her vocal cords and the doctor hadn't refused to help them, although it was attempted suicide.

She would never be able to speak again and her mental health may never fully recover.

Erwin had been devastated and for a few days hadn't left the house. This had been the time he decided for a new, fresh start in London. In a busy city with lots of crime where he could concentrate completely on his work.

The Portsmouth police station hadn't been all too happy with his decision since Erwin was one of their best men, yet they would respect his wish and within a few weeks Scotland Yard accepted his request to get transferred to, what Erwin had described as “the place with the highest crime rate you have to offer.” in his letter.

And now, a few weeks later, he was here. In Whitechapel, London and about to start his new life.

_She's at a good place, they can take better care of her than I would ever be able to._

Erwin lifted his still shaking body while his upper arms almost weren't able to support him properly. Wet feet were carefully placed on the cool tiles.

_Why? Why would I remember this on my first night in London? What time is it anyway?_

He reached for his vest and pulled out the pocket watch. 1:55 AM. Fair enough that his body and mind started to play tricks on him.

After he was done drying himself, realising that he hadn't washed his hair, brushing his teeth to finally get rid of the taste of dried alcohol in his mouth, he put on the grey pyjama he'd brought with him. He gathered his clothes and pulled the plug in the tub. How convenient this apartment was.

Silently he walked through the living room, grabbing a carafe with water that Hans had told him he would prepare for him. A lamp was offering dimmed light on his way over the red carpet and the wooden floor up the small circular stairs. From Hans' room he could hear soft snoring and he wouldn't want to wake the doctor who would have to get up in a few hours probably.

~~~

Curtains were closed with slow motions and the weight of his body seemed to get heavier with every second. There was no fire in the fireplace but the room was not cold. At least not to a point were Erwin would freeze. The fire that had been burning in the living room seemed to have heated up the air up here as well.

Heavy footsteps led him to the bed that would now be his. He sat down with a deep sigh an reached for the carafe. Water was gulped down in a haste before he would get himself under the heavy blanket.

The bed was way harder than it had looked but Erwin preferred it over some mattress in which one could sink in. The sheets smelled fresh, a bit floral and like rain. He liked it and as soon as he'd found a good position, his eyes closed.

He hoped that no nightmares would wake him or even worse that he would wake Hans with his unpredictable screams and cries. They had started with the murder of his father and since just now he had had vivid memories about his mother's sui...

_Stop it. I need sleep. I have a party to attend tomorrow in the evening._

And since he hadn't bathed properly he would do that again tomorrow as soon as he was awake and had breakfast.

“Welcome to London.”, Erwin whispered to himself. “Let's make it a good start.”

But little did he know what would await him …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, can't be helped. The amount of feels I was feeling while writing this must be unhealthy.
> 
> Poor Erwin. I hope you all suffer along with him :3
> 
> Next chapter will come in ~2 weeks since I have a paper to write in the next few days ;_; Then you will get to know more about Levi's background and get introduced to more characters.
> 
> Please bear with my slow burning fic that I hope you like nevertheless. Comments are welcomed since this is my first ever big story I'll tell in chapters.


	4. Old Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Farlan have an evening out together and the new Chief Police Inspector bears a secret that Levi discovers on their first encounter.

The night was silent besides the steady rain against the small windows and some occasionally thunders roaring through the darkness that was just broken for split seconds by lightening.

When Levi woke up, he didn't bother to get a fire going, he would leave soon. After he had dressed decently, had a bit of bread for breakfast and packed everything he'd need for a day on the other side of the city, he took his umbrella and left.

The people in the streets of Whitechapel gave him quite a look as he walked towards the bigger roads, all dressed in fine clothing, tailored to his body, supporting every feature.

“Mayfair, Sir? That's quite a ride with the streets covered in mud.”, the coachman informed him after Levi had let him know his destination.

“I'm well aware of the distance and the conditions of the streets.”, he just smiled decisive as he got in.

He wanted to see Farlan. They hadn't seen each other since around Levi's birthday and it always was a pleasure to spend time with his oldest friend. Although Farlan definitely was the luckier of the two. And although Levi lived a lie for his friend. Out of respect and also fear. He wouldn't want to lose him as a friend.

Their journey went through the whole city. Despite the heavy rain London was as busy as usual. Umbrellas in front of buildings provided little dry spots where those poor bastards without an umbrella on their own were seeking shelter.

Everyone was following their daily business, merchants selling all kinds of things one might need or not. Paper boys announcing the headlines which Levi didn't hear through the rain, bakers trying to keep their freshly baked bread dry.

Soho was heard before they even got near. The hordes of people living here, near the rich west and always hoping to be lucky enough to get their share of the luxury next to them, were something that Levi tried to avoid by all means.

“Go round the National Gallery, please”, Levi lifted his voice after he knocked against the cabin. His heart rate went up, just by imagining the crowds pushed in too narrow streets.

“Will make sure, Sir.”, the coachman replied and Levi could hear the irritation in his voice. It would make the journey more expensive but it was worth every shilling.

About half an hour later Levi paid the coachman and tried to avoid the puddles that made no difference between the poor east and the well off west.

As he stood in front of the impressive house which Farlan had been living in with his adoptive parents, Levi pressed his lips together while knocking against the door with the heavy and massive iron ring.

_Continue with your web of lies and everything will work out fine._

His smile was practised, his gestures trained. The story in his mind soaked through his reality.

“Mister Levi! What a pleasant surprise to see you!”, he was greeted by the maid of the house.

Levi lifted his hat, giving her a gentle smile. “Good day madame. I wanted to see Farlan, if there's any chance that he's here at the moment?”

“Oh, yes. Please come in. I'll inform the young master about your arrival. Would you like a cup of tea?”, he was invited in.

“A cup of tea would be more than welcomed. Thank you, my dear.”, Levi replied as he sat down in the entrance hall.

The maid went upstairs and only a minute later she returned with Farlan by her side.

“Levi! What are you doing here?”, his friend asked while coming closer with a wide smile.

“I was in the area, signing another contract, and so I thought I'd go visit my oldest friend.”, Levi said and they both hugged each other.

“It's good to see you. Have you grown since I last saw you?”, Farlan asked chuckling.

“No, I did not. And right now I'm considering if it's good to see you.”, Levi replied while his eyes narrowed and he pulled back.

They looked at each other for a moment before they simultaneously started to laugh.

The tee was brought and they sat down again.

“Another contract, eh? So your import business is going well?”, Farlan asked, his eyes fixed on his friend.

Levi only nodded, taking a sip from the steaming hot cup.

“I envy you. You've accomplished so much on your own. And I just was lucky enough to got adopted any now I'm just the rich kid in a family that is active in politics. How boring is that. But you Levi, you really made it.”, Farlan nodded, his voice reflected the respect he had for his friend.

“At least you were lucky enough to escape the orphanage sooner than me.”, Levi smiled.

_My torment after you were gone is something I can not tell you..._

“Indeed...”, Farlan agreed and leaned back in his chair. “Oh! Since you sometimes have business in Whitechapel and live near the area... do you have any information about that … serial killer over there?”, Farlan asked while his eyes widened.

“No I don't. In fact, I wasn't aware that this is now a serial killer, I thought he only killed one poor soul.”, Levi replied.

“Oh no, Levi. Haven't you read the paper today? He killed another girl, within three days, he killed two young, beautiful girls in the streets of Whitechapel. Both sex workers. The newspaper say it has to be the same killer for both from what the police has found out so far.”, Farlan explained and Levi lifted his eyebrows.

“I haven't read the newspaper today... so this is new information for me.”

“Well, now you know. So better be careful when you have business over there.”, Farlan chuckled.

“I'm neither young, nor beautiful nor a girl. And I certainly do not sell my body to some disgusting, filthy men.”, Levi declared and Farlan lifted his eyebrows.

“You turned 30, Levi. That's not exactly old. You are certainly not a girl but – pardon me to say it so bluntly – you do indeed have an interesting face.”, Farlan smirked.

“Stop with that. Please.”, Levi sighed and took a deep breath. “What are your plans for tonight? Would you fancy to.... go over to Covent Garden?”, Levi asked and the corners of his mouth went up.

“Covent garden and Miss Nanaba's house would definitely be something very nice for tonight. But unfortunately I have to attend a banquet at Scotland Yard over at Westminster. You can join me there if you like.”, Farlan suggested and took a sip from his tea.

“A banquet? Doesn't the police have something better to do?”, Levi asked as his right eyebrow went up. “You just told me they now have a serial killer instead of a murderer.”

“I'm pretty sure they would have better things to do... but Zackly found a new man for Whitechapel, a Chief Police Inspector, one rank below the old Pixis but about half his age. He wants to give this man a welcome party with a few higher ups, some politicians, important people and my father. But since he's indispensable at the moment, I'll go.”, Farlan explained.

A new high rank for Leman Street? Levi was curious. His people hadn't told him anything about this but neither was he informed about the second murder. He could only profit from knowing the new face in Whitechapel and maybe he could also get other information of interest.

“And since I'm your best friend, I won't let you go alone then.”, Levi agreed and drunk from his tea.

“I knew I could rely on you, Levi.”, Farlan smiled and cleared his throat before lowering his voice. “Should it get too boring over there, I have _something good_ for us.”, he smirked and Levi raised his eyebrows with a smile.

 _Something good_ meant opium. Not that diluted shit you got on the streets of Soho, around Kings Cross and in Whitechapel. But the good, clean, pure thing. Imported and of high quality. A single gram cost a fortune.

They started to smoke the cheap shit when they were still teenagers and while Farlan, especially after he got adopted, only smoked it occasionally, Levi soon found himself addicted to the black drug. He never tried to lie to himself about it but he would not want that Farlan was aware of this situation.

Levi could afford it. In his teens he had stolen money or food and sold it and then he had bought the cheap stuff to smoke it. The sweet scent while inhaling the numbing drug also stimulated his senses and also could explain his disliking in alcohol.

He used to make little portions after he grounded the drug and then smoked it with tobacco in rolled cigarettes. A habit he had dropped as soon as he had more money and could afford to smoke it in a opium pipe. That was also when he discovered that he had only consumed the weaker form of the drug before.

The real deal was the raw opium gathered from the dried milk of the capsules of the flower. When harvested at the right time, skilled people could transform it into high quality opium. The best came from Asia because of the climate and it cost a lot.

But this was the thing that Farlan preferred and whenever he somehow obtained it, he would invite Levi. Farlan has always been more of a social person than Levi and while the dark haired would rather get wasted in his apartment, Farlan would like to go out and do something while being high.  
They spent the afternoon with tea and biscuits and made a short stop at a nearby tailor. Farlan always wanted to give Levi tailored clothing as a present and Levi was the last to deny.

A dark grey suit, some new shirts and a pair of leather gloves, all could be picked up in two weeks after the tailor had taken Levi's measurements. Farlan felt proud, as always, as he paid half of the money in advance already.

They sat down in the luxurious carriage and while Farlan's personal coachman brought them closer to Westminster, the rain got a bit lighter.

“How's Isabel doing?”, Farlan asked as he leaned back relaxed against the dark purple back rest.

_I was wondering when he would ask._

“I try to see her as often as possible. But since she still prefers to stay at different places and not settle down, it's quite an adventure to find her. Lately she's been around Piccadilly Circus a lot.”, Levi explained and took a deep breath. “But it's been two weeks since I last saw her.”

“Our Isabel, still the same.”, Farlan smiled.

“Yes, still the same untamable madcap but she's doing fine. Although I'm a bit concerned since she told me that she got quite a few offers for jobs.”, Levi continued.

Farlan raised his eyebrows. “What kind of jobs?”

“Sex work mostly but some of those people try to catch her with becoming a singer or dancer. And we both know how much she would love to do that. So I'll try to give her a talk on that again.”

“So she's still out there, pick pocketing people? And is this street entertainment still a thing?”, Farlan asked.

“Yes, both. Her juggling skills have improved quite a lot and it's stunning to watch her. She makes good money with it.”, Levi explained further as the Thames came in sight.

Farlan let out a sigh. “I see... but still I would wish for her to do something else. She will get dead sick when she stays on the streets during this weather.”

“I agree and I already tried talking to her... but she wants to keep her independence.”

“Stubborn girl.”, Farlan laughed.

“She sure is but I'll try my best to talk with her about the situation again.”

“Hopefully she'll listen to you. She always respected you way more than me and since I got adopted by this family, she would no longer see me as the brother-like figure as before.”, Farlan's voice hinted sadness.

Levi pressed his lips together for a moment. It was true.

Isabel had looked up to both of them when they were in the same orphanage. She had come there when she was about five years old and Farlan and Levi immediately became her big brothers. They would stick together, help each other, be there for each other. And only a few years later Farlan got adopted, the trio ripped apart.

Levi and Isabel had been closer than ever before and Farlan, who was only 14 years old at that time, didn't know how to contact his two friends, once he was gone. Only when he turned 18 he somehow got in contact with the orphanage again. Right in time, since Levi was to leave the institution. Too many young children that needed a shelter made it necessary that the 16 year old boy had to leave.

_And I was the luckiest person in the world when I could leave this fucked up place._

Since then, Levi and Farlan had kept vivid contact as much as possible. Isabel, who had to stay at the orphanage a few more years, felt left alone and Levi visited her almost every day. He wanted to be a constant in her life and give her a positive example besides his life going downward from the very beginning.

Neither Farlan nor Isabel were aware of Levi's source of income. Both thought he'd started to work at a small store and slowly made his way into trading business. He told these lies with so much belief that they never doubted him.

His reality was far less convenient. He had to steal, started to learn how to cheat on card games and barely made it from day to day. He had slept in run down places, as long as he had his opium, he wouldn't care. It always numbed his thoughts, inspired his mind and let him dream. Dream of a better life, of places he never had seen.

Something that very regularly came across his mind when he smoked opium was the ocean. He had never seen it as an adult and the last time he had seen it as a child the circumstances had been rather unpleasant.

_And I probably never will unless I make my way. I'm stuck in this shit hole._

When a fight at a pub had gotten out of hand, someone noticed Levi's agility and determination and before he realised what was going on, Levi had started at the very bottom of organised crime. Beating people, blackmailing people, collecting money, getting information. It paid off very well.

His morals were almost non existent since his whole life was marked by the absence of morals and so he would do almost everything. However, one thing that he would never do was to sell his body. Neither to women nor to men. The first had always hurt him. His mother might have been the only one who had hurt him involuntarily with her death.

He could hardly remember her. And it hurt. He felt guilty for not being able to remember her face, her hair, her eyes, her touch. But he was just three years old when she passed away. Unfortunately he still was able to clearly remember her coughing and the blood all over their little apartment. In the end she didn't even have the strength to leave the bed and Levi was just sitting there, touching her cold, sweaty skin as she had taken her last breaths.

He had been sitting by his mother's corpse for a few days without food. All they had in the apartment was rotten or had started to go mouldy. They couldn't afford firewood and the apartment was moist from the very day they had moved in.  
When a lady from the same floor let herself in their apartment she quickly pulled Levi away from his mother's rotting body, calling a doctor and giving the small child to the Jewish orphanage a few streets away.

Only when Levi was older he fully understood that his mother had died from tuberculosis and that he was lucky to still be alive. When he thought about that he had been sitting on his dead mother's bed for a few days, he felt sick. And again he was ashamed for not being able to clearly remember her face.

The women later on in his life hadn't made him very eager to attach himself to one of them again. Beating him, laughing at him and also abusing him. So he had no interest in dealing with them, even though more than a hand full had approached him to buy his body for a night.

And men... well, there might have been a few that he had been curious about but those were men he voluntarily showed an interest in. For money he could and would never let one of those dirty, old bastards lay a single finger on him.

_I'd rather smoke less opium than selling my body._

~~~

When they left the carriage the rain was just a faint drizzle. Yet it was cold and the Thames was in motion as heavy wind blew into their faces.

The Scotland Yard building belonged to Westminster, had the Thames right in front and was an impressive building to look at. They headed for the entrance and after they had entered Farlan was greeted right away with a deep bow from the man behind the reception.

Levi still found it fascinating that the police and other institutions already had access to electricity while the majority of the population only could dream of it.

Dimmed light shone from dark yellow light bulbs and Levi tried to pull himself together and his focus changed to the man who was now talking to them.

“Mr. Churchill. It's an honour that you could come since your father is in France at the moment. May I take your cloaks, gentlemen? Who is your guest if I may ask?”

“Thank you very much. This is Levi, my best friend. I bail for him.”, Farlan replied while he and Levi took off their cloaks.

They were hung up alongside other expensive looking cloaks from men and women alike.

“Commissioner Zackly will hold his speech in a few minutes, then the buffet will be opened. Drinks are already available. If you'd please go up to the second floor you will find the festivity room without doubt.”, they were informed and both bowed their heads.

There was no way to miss the door to the welcome party. When they climbed up the dark, massive stone stairs there was live music and chatter could be heard.

They entered a large room. Around 60 square metres, with a high ceiling. Glass decorated chandeliers with light bulbs illuminated the room and candles on tables and on the wall supported the rather cosy atmosphere. There were some high tables where people stood around and had drinks. To the left was a podium where Commissioner Zackly was preparing his speech while a small group of musicians was playing next to him. Levi had seen him before, he was the man in charge for all the police in London. Metropolitan as well as city.

On the right were several dark blue sofas, heavy black curtains separated them. Some important looking men were already sitting there, heads close together, while whispering.

Levi's gaze was wandering over the people. Men and women in all age groups, all dressed up, showing off their wealth. Only those, who were actually working at the police were dressed less pompous.

“We should get a drink, shouldn't we?”, Farlan suggested and Levi followed him to the bar that was on the opposite site of the room.

They got gin and then searched for a free table near the podium from where they could see Zackly, who would start his speech anytime.

“Oh god, I probably should know more than half of the people in this room...”, Farlan sighed as he bowed his head and smiled friendly towards anyone that greeted him across the room.

“Help me, Levi.”, he whispered.

The dark haired just hinted a smile while they clinked their glasses. “I'm quite happy with drinks, listening to the conversations going on in this room and some good stuff later on”, he let his best friend know.

The gin tasted bitter and refreshing. His throat welcomed the taste and for a moment he closed his eyes. His double life paid off once again. These people here where the complete opposite from those living in Whitechapel. And Levi always had a liking in playing different roles, in adapting himself, playing his cards right.

“Ladys and gentlemen!”, Zackly raised his voice while the music faded out and the conversations throughout the room died while all eyes focused on the stage. Grey hair, bound in a ponytail with a matching grey beard framed friendly yet sharp eyes. With a wide smile on his face he adjusted his jacket and cleared his throat.

“Today is a special day for Scotland Yard. Not only have all of you found your way here”, a short pause with some chuckles from the audience.

_Tck... those smugged pigs._

“Today I want to give our new Chief Police Inspector the chance to get to know you while you can get to know him. Alongside Commander Dot Pixis, whom you might all know, we have Chief Police Inspector Erwin Smith joining us for our office in Leman Street from tomorrow on.”, Zackly's voice sounded excited.

“You might think that this is not worth this party, but I think it is. Erwin Smith was one of the brightest heads on the south coast and barely someone with his rank voluntarily would ask to work in Whitechapel. But this man did. And he earns all of our respect for doing so. Please welcome, Chief Police Inspector Erwin Smith!”, Zackly's voice almost cracked in excitement.

Applause covered the room and Levi clapped his hands a few times before he put his glass to his lips again. His eyes wandered over the audience real quick before someone else climbed up the podium after Zackly had left.

The tall blonde who got on the podium wore a well tailored suit, his legs seemed endlessly long in the grey cloth that was pinstriped in black. A matching grey pinstriped jacket lay perfectly over his wide shoulders and as he turned around he was adjusting the white collar of his buttoned shirt before his fingers run over his silver grey cravat.

Levi didn't move. His eyes were all fixed on that man whose presence filled the room. Something Levi hadn't experienced in a long time. His fingers were still holding the glass to his lips but he didn't drink, he just was examining the man's face.

Blue eyes. Blue eyes like he had never seen them before or at least he couldn't remember. An intense gaze, friendly, respectful, humble yet confident. His eyes were framed by impressive eyebrows. Bushy, dominant, yet well formed and perfectly supplementing the strictly parted blonde hair and neatly trimmed sideburns.

His cheekbones gave his face an even more unique frame. They made him interesting. In a way, Levi hadn't thought about a man in a long time. His jawline was clear cut, strong and the overall expression of a good looking man with a brilliant mind was underlined by the witty smile that crossed his lips.

Levi found himself staring, staring like an uncivilized, rude boy from the streets. The blue eyes examined the audience for a moment – _this man knows how to set up a scene_ – their eyes met for a split second.

_Fuck._

Drowning. The feeling of drowning overcame Levi. Soaked in to this extraordinary blue eyes. Although it wasn't even a full second, Levi felt his jaws pressing together, while his heart rate rose – he tried to control himself again, finally forcing himself to drink from the glass he had been holding for far too long now. And while he was at it, he emptied the gin in one rush.

One or two glasses were appropriate but he would rather numb his mind with opium and its sweet scent than with alcohol.

The glass found his was on the table and Levi gulped heavily while he pulled out his rolling papers and tobacco. A bad habit he couldn't get rid of since he had started with opium mixed with tobacco and his body got used to all the shit in there. But he would still buy scented tobacco so he wouldn't smell bad. Lavender it was this time.

“Thank you very much for your kind words, Commissioner Zackly.”, the new Chief Police Inspector started with a friendly tone. His voice was heavy, his accent clearly from the south. The baritone pitch fitted his appearance of a big, strong man. Yet his body language was conflicting.

Were his hands shaking? Also, his eyes seemed to be wandering off and his mind getting distracted by something or someone in the room.

“I'm neither a man of many words nor am I a man of great words. I'd just like to thank everyone for coming here tonight. I feel honoured by this warm welcome and I'm looking forward to fulfil my duty as new member at Leman Street police station with all my heart.”, the blonde spoke while his body language now left no doubt about his upright morals.

Strong and tall, every little detail was perfect. Like the chain that led from his trousers to the chest pocket of his west and obviously hinted a watch. Or his tie that lay neatly around his neck and was a blend of grey and silver, perfectly highlighting the dark pinstripes on his jacket and trousers. His bright eyes got everyone's attention in the room and the involuntarily performance with his eyebrows that seemed to underline everything he said was what really got Levi.

“So before I bore you all to death and you all have to stand around much longer – let's get to know each other better while we enjoy the buffet, that Commissioner Zackly has arranged for us.”, Erwin Smith said and made a gesture towards the richly covered tables that haven't even gotten Levi's attention yet.

He was no good eater, never had been. Food merely got him excited liked other people and especially Farlan right now next to him. His friend’s eyes widened but then Chief Police Inspector Smith had his attention again.

While the people in the room gave the blonde a welcoming applause, he was smiling. It was a humble smile, the corners of his mouth merely lifted, nasal wings widened. But what struck Levi were his eyes. The blue seemed so vivid, so alive, so full of life. And again their eyes met for a second while the tall men left the podium.

A shiver went down Levi's spine

_What an impressive man._

“The police spent quite some pounds here, look at that roast beef.”, Farlan interrupted Levi's focus on the blonde.

The dark haired gave a grunting noise that hinted his non existing interest in the buffet.

Farlan emptied his drink and grabbed Levi's hand. The smaller one knew that he could escape the grip but there was no need to make a scene. Farlan was the one who had brought him here so he would stay with him.

While Farlan filled his plate with everything he could get a hand on, Levi examined the people.

Many of them police, without doubt. Others were politicians, like Farlan's family, others were just some important business people or simply enough lucky to have money.

Besides the police, Levi didn't have much respect for the people present. The police were the only ones with something close to morals and who actually worked for the people of London. The simple people.

At least in Leman Street. The police in Westminster was something completely different.

Levi spotted one of the high ranks from the west. Nile Dawk. He hated that guy. Since Farlan was living in that area, Levi has had the honour to talk to this man already. Just looking at him made his blood boil.

He was one of those cowards that would rather get bribe before getting his hands dirty. That sorry excuse of a beard made him question if this man even owned a mirror and what annoyed him even more was the fact, that he had brought along his two kids.

Last time he had seen him, he had only had a daughter but now there was small boy clinging to his wife's hand.

“Are you not going to try the buffet?”, Farlan asked and waved around with a piece of meat on his fork.

“No, thank you. I'm fine. I'll get us more drinks?”, Levi suggested and Farlan nodded while he pointed towards the sofas near the entrance.

More people now wanted to get a drink and so Levi queued up with them. Just when it was his turn, someone placed a hand on his shoulder and rose his voice to get the barkeepers attention.

“Two bottles of gin, the good one. Commissioner Zackly and I will have some private conversations upstairs.”

Levi froze. The big, warm hand on his shoulder came completely out of nowhere and he felt the urge to pull away his shoulder, to get rid of the unwanted touch. Yet, when he turned his head to give the culprit a look, he froze again.

Those damn blue eyes looked down on him. The Chief Police Inspector was much bigger than it had seemed on the podium and he was so close that Levi could smell his scent. Heavy and wooden. Freshly bathed and shaven. A scent of lavender, vetiver and lemon.

“Oh, pardon me, Sir. I didn't mean to be rude.”, the blonde said, his hand still on Levi's shoulder. His breath hinting that the had already had some more gin.

Levi couldn't reply or react properly. He was too shocked, too surprised, so he just narrowed his eyes and pressed his lips together while his right hand run through his hair.

The blonde rose his eyebrows and a smile crossed his lips.

_Why are you smiling now?_

Levi licked his lips before he found his voice again.

“If we wouldn't be in the headquarters of Scotland Yard but in a pub in Whitechapel, you might've a broken wrist now, Chief Police Inspector Smith. No, pardon me. You might not have it, you would certainly have it.”, Levi spoke with low voice, assured and yet he was hinting a smile.

The taller one was certainly confused about Levi's tone and his wording. The blonde was blinking, his eyes focusing on his own hand for a second. Slowly he pulled back and straightened his jacket.

“Thank you for the warning. I would indeed prefer to not have my wrist broken.”, he lowered his head a bit.

“A man from Whitechapel? A colleague of mine who I've not yet been informed about?”, he asked and curiosity spoke honest from his voice and eyes.

“A man from Whitechapel indeed. But none of your colleagues. Sorry, if I have to disappoint you.”, Levi smirked back.

They both still were pretty close to each other, yet Levi had no urge to bring distance between them. The blonde smelled good, looked good and dressed well.

_Why am I thinking this?_

“And would this man from Whitechapel care to introduce himself? I'm pretty sure that we will cross each other's paths more than once since Whitechapel is quite the nest. And since I was introduced to everyone, it would only be fair if I would not have to call you Mister Wristbreaker.”, Erwin chuckled.

Levi breathed out amused, the corners of his mouth now also wandering up.

“It's more or less your duty to know the people of your district, right?”, Levi asked as he fell his knees going soft.

_Shit. What the hell is going on?_

“You could say that... but you don't have to feel forced to tell me. I will find out on my own, should I really want to know your name. I just wanted to give you a fair chance to prevent me from calling you Mister Wristbreaker.”, the blonde smiled again.

“Well, I believe that the new Chief Police Inspector, Mister Erwin Smith from Eastbourne now had enough fun with this situation. Levi, the name's Levi.”

“Levi. Nothing more? So just Mister Levi then?”, the new member of Leman Street asked, surprised about his inconvenient way to introduce himself.

“You're correct, Mister Smith.”, Levi lifted his chin.

Blue eyes gave him a warm smile.

“I'm relieved that my miserable first impression doesn't seem to last.”, the blonde smiled.

_Your very first impression was stunning, you idiot._

“I don't want to take any more of your time. I'm glad that you wouldn't be too upset about my … way to handle a situation like this in another environment.”

“Absolutely not. Although I would handle a situation like this differently, I can understand why it upset you.”, a gentle and apologizing smile followed. “And now I'm off to some … rather unpleasant conversations. I hope we get to talk to each other again, Mister Levi.”

“Enjoy your evening, Mister Smith.”, Levi ended the conversation while the well dressed man reached for the bottles on the counter next to Levi. A shiver down his spine, the second time this evening.

A gentle smile from those beautiful blue eyes, nasal wings widened by both men as they seemed to inhale deeply.

And then the moment was gone. Mister Smith was gone and Levi took two Gin and returned to Farlan who was waiting at the sofas.

“What took you so long?”, he asked with way too much food in his mouth and Levi gave him a look.

“Sorry.”, Farlan murmured after he had gulped down a whole lot.

“Don't say you're sorry when you are not.”

The evening went on without further special events. Farlan had some conversations, Levi tried to wander around as much as possible, eavesdropping and just getting an idea of the general chit chat of the west.

When midnight came close, Farlan seemed pretty desperate about the whole situation. He still carried the well packed opium in his pocket, a pipe on the inside of his jacket.  
When they decided to leave, Farlan nevertheless had to say some special good byes and Levi took the chance to finally eat something from the buffet. He took up a plate and was looking for something that didn't look too gross or as if everyone had touched it already.

“Bring those plates downstairs.”, a harsh voice ordered him and Levi pulled back his head.

His eyes found a big man with a black suit.

“Are you deaf, boy? Bring that downstairs now.”, he was ordered again.

Levi hesitated for a moment. Did this guy really think he was one of them waiters? Who did he think he was to order me around?

But within a split second Levi smiled modestly.

“Yes, of course.”, he agreed and took another almost empty plate before heading for the door.

This was his chance to have a look around in offices he would never be able to enter. The hallway was empty besides some waiters mounting plates and so he headed right for the stairs.

His feet carried him through the entrance area directly into the heart of Scotland Yard. A big office, lots of tables. Nothing of interest for him. He wanted to find an archive or the office of one of the higher ups, Zackly maybe?

While his eyes scanned the name plates on the doors a noise interrupted him. He narrowed his eyebrows, turned his head to the right. One of the office doors was not fully closed and muffled sounds could be heard from the inside.

Out of sheer curiosity Levi came closer. Every step silent on the dark wooden floor.

When he finally was able to have a glimpse inside, the corners of his mouth went up along with his eyebrows.

_This is ... interesting._

What he saw was clear, no room for interpretation. Erwin Smith, the new Chief Police Inspector, had his hands on Nile Dawk's wife. Their lips were united, passionate moans filled the air as the walnut brown haired woman held on to Smith's jacket with one hand. The other one held a good fist full of his blonde locks and pulled him close.

Levi only observed the scene long enough to make sure that he was no witness of rape. The blonde pushed Dawk's wife against the wall, his hands were wandering all over her body, fumbling on the threads of her corsage to free her breasts.

The ivory-like skin was covered with hasty kisses, soft bites and the women threw back her head, moaning a bit too loud should one consider that her husband was in the same building.

“Mary, my beautiful Mary...”, the Chief Police Inspector moaned as his hand cupped one of the full, big breasts and started to suck on her nipple.

“Oh Erwin...”, she moaned aroused and was reaching for the man's free hand, led it to her lips and slowly let his index finger glide into her mouth.

_Definitely not the first time they see each other._

When the blonde began to pull up the skirt of his lover, Levi had seen enough. That was passion, no rape. A beautiful woman cheating on her husband with the newly arrived member of the London Police? What story was behind that? How were their paths entwined?

Levi was curious. He always was interested in anything that would give him an advantage.

After he dropped off the plates in the kitchen he met Farlan were they dropped off their cloaks.

“You're smiling, what happened?”, his friend asked right away.

“I had a great evening with some gin and I'm up for the good stuff now.”, Levi replied and Farlan nodded.

“So where do you wanna go?”

“I'd still not say no to a visit at Nanaba's”, Levi smirked and Farlan tilted his head.

“Okay, let's go there then.”, he agreed

~~~

About ten minutes later the two friends left the private carriage again and knocked on the big red door while taking off their hats.

A slender, young woman with brownish hair and a dark blue dress opened and a bright smile spread across her face.

“Good evening - or night - honoured gentlemen. Please come in.”, she welcomed them with a curtsey and made room for them to come inside

“Thank you, my dear.”, Farlan replied.

“I'll inform Miss Nanaba – would you like to take a seat?”, they were asked.

“Yes, please.”

They followed her to one of the welcoming rooms where they sat down on big, luxurious sofas that fitted the richly decorated room perfect. All red and gold and heavy farbics.

“May I offer you something to drink?”, the young women asked.

“No need for that, we have something else.”, Farlan smiled as he pulled out his opium pipe and a small box. While Levi started to make small portions of the black powder, Farlan build together the pipe.

“I see. Miss Nanaba will be here with you soon.”, the rustling of fabric was heard as she left the room.

Just when Miss Nanaba entered, they both had their first few drags from the pipe. The opium started to spread through their minds and bodies.

The woman was dangerously beautiful in her own way. Fit and tough, a gentle face when she was smiling, yet Levi and Farlan alike were aware of her strength and the rigid hand with which she was leading her establishment.

“Good evening, gentlemen.”, she welcomed them with a smile and both stood up from the sofa.

“Miss Nanaba, you are beautiful as ever.”, Farlan spoke as she offered him her hand and he bowed to blow a gentle kiss on red silk gloves.

“No need to charm me, Mister F. It's late. I was about to close the door. Tell me which girls and which rooms you want so I can send the other ones home.” Her voice was clear cut, every gentleness gone.

Levi felt the opium spreading in his body, his head getting light. With a gentle smile he took her other offered hand and blew a gentle kiss on the back of her hand.

“If Susan is available?”, Farlan asked as he sat down again and took another drag from the pipe.

“She is. I'll let her arrange her room. You know she only works in her room.”, Miss Nanaba explained as she gave Levi a questioning look.

Levi's head was dizzy as he let go off Miss Nanaba's hand and sat down next to Farlan. Gin and opium mixed with to little food and the heavy scent of this place were playing on his mind. Along came the fact that his last visit here was far too long ago.

“Becky.”, he quickly decided and with an excited smile he added: “In the dungeon.”

Miss Nanaba lifted her eyebrows and Levi pulled out his purse to pay in advance. He was a regular in her dungeon and he knew he would have to pay in advance.

“That's too much.”, she noted and wanted to give him back a coin.

“No. Give Becky the rest. She'll deserve it after I'm done with her.”, Levi replied. His eyes lighted up with excitement and Farlan started to grin.

“Very well, Mister L. The dungeon it shall be then.”, she concluded and left the two of them alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me way longer than intended. But I had super busy weeks and when I found the time to write, this chapter got bigger and bigger but I hope it turned out well.
> 
> Let me know what you think about the things you got to know about Erwin and Levi. Your feedback is vital to me <3
> 
> Historical sidenote: The Scotland Yard headquarter was not build yet in 1879 but a few years later. Now the building is called "Norman Shaw Buildings" and this is what it looked back when it was build: http://www.victorianweb.org/art/architecture/normanshaw/14.jpg


	5. Old Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin attends his welcome party after he experienced a bit of his new life in Whitechapel. The party takes some turns he never would have thought of.

 

When Erwin woke up, he felt as if he'd slept a week straight. Recovered but somehow exhausted. His mouth was dry, his tongue sticking to his gums as he rolled over to the side and slowly opened his eyes.

_No nightmares._

Everything was new, different from what he was used to. The air, the fabric of the sheets, the surrounding.

As he slowly got himself in an upright position, feet touching a soft, used carpet on the hard wooden floor, he took a deep breath.

_What time is it?_

The curtains were closed, yet the daylight came through some of the gaps and tinted the room in a surreal light.

He reached for the carafe and poured himself a glass of water before gulping it down. His throat welcomed the wet, refreshing liquid and the rather unpleasant taste was toned down a bit.

The pocket watch on his night stand revealed that he had slept until lunch time – desperately needed and welcomed by his body as he now got up to open the curtains.

Heavy rain was still falling down but he now was able to see some roof tops and kind of a silhouette of his neighbourhood.

Whitechapel. His new home. His new work place. His chance for a new life. All old bonds left in the south.

Only the key to his parent's house has found its way with him here.

After he had let in some fresh air, he went down to the living room which also had another atmosphere now with a bit of daylight.

Last night it had seemed quite odd with the dimmed light and all the flasks and vials standing around.

But together with some fresh air – Hans obviously had opened the big windows for a bit, everything in front was removed – and enough sleep, Erwin was less intimidated by the laboratory-like equipment.

He wandered towards the small kitchen when a paper on the table caught his attention.

_Good morning (or afternoon) Erwin,_

_Please help yourself with tea or coffee._

_I had to leave quite early but I'll be back around 5 PM so we can go to your welcome party together._

_I don't have any food here but there's a bakery around the corner. Just ask for BB's that's Blouse's Bakery but everyone knows 'BB' around here._

_Please have a comfortable, easy going day – Whitechapel will be in need of your service soon enough. But today, enjoy the freedom!_

_Should you leave the apartment, feel free to take the umbrella next to the door._

_I'm looking forward to tonight!_

_Kind regards,_  
_Hans_

With a soft smile Erwin put down the note again and started to make himself s cup of tea. He already felt more welcome here than he had hoped for.

 

After he had shaved and dressed he actually could no longer ignore his rumbling stomach. The stew last night was good but not much and during his journey from Eastbourne he hardly had eaten anything.

So he decided to give the bakery, that Hans had mentioned in the note, a try.

He made sure to lock the door properly before he headed down the stairs.

The umbrella he had taken from beside the door was definitely appreciated since it was still raining and everything was drowned in a numbing, monotonous sound.

The air was moist, the wind was cold and when he entered the main road he held the collar of his coat closer to his neck. Commercial Road the sign said as lively, daily business unfolded around him.

Children, all covered in dirt, were playing tag, a horse was pulling barrels on a wooden construction without wheels – mud splattering left and right and Erwin managed to protect his body with the umbrella just in time.

_Disgusting._

But he didn't say anything. He'd observe, get to know the rules of this city. Every city, every district, sometimes even single streets, had rules of their own and as a member of the police he would have to be very aware of them to protect himself.

A woman threw a rotten cabbage towards the man that was leading the horse and some people started to laugh while others seemed to get upset about it.

Erwin observed the situation, his eyes narrowed as he quickly scanned all the faces. Should someone file a complaint – he would want to remember which face belonged to which person. Scars, clothing, hair colours – basically anything that would help him.

A turmoil was about to break lose when suddenly someone ran into Erwin.

Air was pushed out of his lungs involuntarily and he stumbled back a bit.

“'Cuse me, Mister.... Sir.”, a girl in her teens stuttered as light brown eyes widened and looked up to Erwin apologizing, quickly scanning his clothing.

The soaking wet girl had caramel brown hair, bound to a pony tail. Her clothes were simple, used, and as wet as her face and hair. Mud was sticking to her skirt's seam.

“No need to excuse yourself just keep your eyes open next time.”, Erwin spoke as something caught his attention.

_What is she hiding?_

The young girl was holding something close to her body, carefully her fingers were wrapped around it and she was pressing it against her chest.

“I'm in a hurry, I didn't see you, Sir.”, she explained herself and her eyes wandered back and forth while she turned her head to all sides.

_A thief._

Erwin lifted his eyebrows as his right hand reached for the girls wrist.

“Show me what you got there.”, he demanded, his voice sounded determined yet there was gentleness in it.

_She's just a kid._

She widened her eyes as his fingers got a hold of her wrist. Quickly she pulled back, with a wide motion unleashing force that Erwin wouldn't have dared her to have.

“NO!”, she hissed at him and as she tried to get further away from him she tripped and fell to the ground.

“Sasha! Where are ya'?”, someone was screaming and a rather large but not overweight man came around a corner.

_The robbed one._

Erwin reacted right away – the girl left little to no doubt that she was 'Sasha'.

“Stay.”, he demanded, his voice now very harsh, as the girl tried to get up but slipped away in the mud.

“Sasha!”; the man shouted as he saw the girl and now got closer

The girls facial expression didn't hint any fear – she just seemed annoyed as the man arrived at Erwin and her.

“What do ya' think ya' doin'? Stealin' what ya' hard workin' fatha' is-”

He was cut off.

“But I'm hungry! Ya' only will give me the leftovers in the evenin'!”, the girl yelled as the man shook his head.

“'Cause we'a livin' from the coins that I make. Now get ya'self up and help me.”, he demanded as he finally seemed to realize that Erwin was standing right next to them.

“Do you know this girl?”, Erwin asked, to make sure he had heard correctly.

“Yea, that li'le trouble maker is ma daughta', Sasha. And who are ya'?”, Erwin was asked quite harsh.

“Chief Police Inspector Erwin Smith.”, he introduced himself with a stern expression.

Both, father and daughter alike, widened their eyes and suddenly the man made efforts to help up his daughter.

“I'm sorry, I didn' kno'...”, the man stuttered and as soon as his daughter stood he grabbed her neck and made her bow.

“Sorry.”, the girl spoke and Erwin's facial expression softened.

“No need to apologize. She just bumped in me as she tried to get away with her stolen goods.”, Erwin said.

“You can have it – if you want to.”, the girl offered and now revealed what was in her hands. A broken pastry.

Erwin blinked and then smiled with kindness in his eyes.

_Simple needs for simple people._

“It's okay. This one looks quite smashed after you ran into me. But is there any chance that you, Mister, are the owner of the Blouse's Bakery?”, Erwin asked and father and daughter exchanged a quick look.

“Yes, Sir, that's my business. I'm Mister Blouse.”, he said and Erwin nodded.

“Then I gladly would like to accompany you so you can sell me some of your un-smashed goods.”, Erwin explained and while they spoke, the girl already had begun to stuff the pastry in her mouth.

“Sasha! Behave!”, her father demanded.

“Please, don't scold her. Obviously she's very hungry – and I can relate.”

On their way to the bakery, Erwin was informed about all kinds of shops in the street. Where to buy, where not to buy.

_Business man to the bones._

Around them was the new, unpleasant reality that Erwin would now live in. A different life and different circumstances than what he was used to. Poverty, dirt, a rough tone. He would get used to it. Must get used to it.

~~~

The little shop was nicely furnished, simple but pleasant. It built a strong contrast to the rough outside world on the street in front.

The daughter went upstairs – probably to get changed – while Erwin had a look around.

“Please excuse ma daugh'as behaviour, Sir. Sasha's a very rude girl, wild, so to say, and it's no' easy for me to ge' us through. Livin's expensive. And I try to be a good fatha'...”, Mister Blouse tried to explain.

“As I already said. No need to apologize. No harm was done and the thievery is something you might as well discuss with her. If you don't file a complaint, I won't do anything.”, Erwin explained.

The baker looked at Erwin for a moment, grateful he bowed his head.

“Where's her mother?”, Erwin then asked rather bluntly and Mister Blouse pressed his lips together for a moment before his eyes somehow darkened.

_Dead._

“Pardon me, Mister Blouse. It's none of my business. I just want to make sure that the people in Whitechapel do get all the help they need and can get.”, Erwin smiled gently and then decided to take three pastries with him.

~~~

"Keep up appearances whatever you do" – was the last sentence Erwin had read before a key opened the door to the apartment.

“Hello, Hans. I've some pastries if you'd like one?”, Erwin offered with a bright smile.

“Oh thank god – you are saving me from starving.”, Hans sighed relieved.

“No need to thank me, you were the one to leave a note and an umbrella for me.”, Erwin explained as he closed the book he has been reading.

' _Manners for the Victorian Gentleman_ '.

Hans hung up his wet coat by the door and then would take off the smeared glasses before sitting on the sofa and grabbing the pastry.

“It's no longer hot, obviously, but I'm glad that you like it.”

Dough, meat and vegetables were chewed and gulped down with a pleasant sigh.

“I'm addicted to BB's.”, Hans informed Erwin and they both smiled.

_A bohemian man indeed._

“Did you not find any time to eat at work today?”, Erwin asked and Hans shook his head.

“Unfortunately not. I don't want to burden this upon you right now – you start tomorrow – but we had a second victim within three days. And I was busy to … well... to examine her cuts and stitches before cutting her open myself again. I'm very... forgetful about my own needs when there is work to be done.”, Hans spoke before having another bite from the pastry.

“Another victim? So there have been two murders since I started my journey to London?”, Erwin asked and Hans nodded while chewing on the bite.

_I'll have work right away._

“Yes, two girls that sold their bodies. That's the city's way to welcome you, I guess.”, Hans smiled and Erwin took a deep breath but couldn't hide his smile.

“But believe me – tonight will be much better than getting into work tomorrow. There'll be live music, a buffet, drinks, lots of people who want to shake your hand.”, Hans' voice hinted excitement.

They both refreshed themselves and Erwin put on his tailored suit. He hadn't brought much with him. Just the suit, a pyjama and clothing for a few days. He'd need to get himself dressed properly within the next days. It would help to fully immerse with his new life.

The suit was all grey with black pinstripes. A white buttoned shirt, a silver cravat and a vest, perfectly blending in with the overall look. His pocket watch was attached, cuff buttons found their place, his hair was combed again.

The doctor was wearing dark blue and red tones, his pony tail was tightly bound and the ever so freshly shaven face gave away an approving smile as Erwin came down the stairs.

“Ready to go as I see?”, Hans asked and Erwin adjusted his collar.

“More or less. I could use a gin right now.”, Erwin declared and Hans motioned to wait.

He disappeared in his room and returned with a bottle of gin.

“We might warm ourselves up a bit in the carriage.”, he smiled. “No need to be nervous, you'll get along with the people from Leman Street and the rest is not important at the moment.”, Hans re-assured him with a gentle smile.

“Thank you, Hans. I really appreciate your kindness.”, Erwin let his colleague know and then they went down and hauled a carriage on the street.

~~~

Quite some gin later – Hans face was flushed red – they had arrived at Scotland Yard and after they had dropped of their coats they headed to the second floor. Erwin would meet Commissioner Zackly in person after he had written with him in the last weeks. He would also meet his new superior, Commander Pixis and his partner, Police Inspector Mike Zacharias. All only known by name so far.

“Mike is not much of a talker, don't think he doesn't like you. Pixis is a strange, old man. Kind and funny, sometimes a bit... extraordinary, just make sure he laughs about your jokes and he'll be your ally. Zackly is the only tough in there – but he values people for their work, so that shouldn't be a problem for you.”, Hans explained to him and then excused himself.

_Just my new colleague, my boss and one of the highest people of Scotland Yard._

Erwin straightened his shoulders, took a deep breath and knocked.

“Come in!”, a deep voice informed him and he pushed the door handle before entering the small room.

Heavy cigar smoke filled the air and three pairs of eyes focused on him. Quickly he spotted the one that must be Commissioner Zackly.

“I'm Chief Police Inspector Erwin Smith, gentlemen. I was invited to come here to tonight.”, he introduced himself and – probably – Commander Pixis was the one to raise from his chair first, offering him a hand.

“Hello and welcome. I'm Dot Pixis – the head of the police in the east. Come, sit with us.”, a gentle smiling face greeted him as they shook hands.

“Commander Pixis, it's a pleasure to meet you.”, Erwin spoke and then his focus shifted to the grey bearded man.

“Mister Smith. I heard about your inconveniences on your way to London and now you have to stay with Pixis' … rather unique doctor. Please accept my apologies. We'll take care of that matter as soon as possible.”, a deep voice informed him.

“Oh come on, Zackly. Doctor Zoe is the best. Odd maybe but the best.”, Commander Pixis sighed and Erwin smiled.

“It's an honour to meet you, Commissioner Zackly. None of the circumstances was your fault and so far I have no reason to complain. Doctor Zoe and I get along and I think there are other matters that will need all our attention?”, Erwin's hand was shaken – he actively could not shake the big man's hand.

“Ah, so you are already aware of the murders? Anyway, not tonight. It is a rare occasion for us to come together for an event like this.”, Zackly spoke and finally let go off Erwin's hand.

“And I really am thankful for this kind of welcoming. It'll make the start easier.”, Erwin agreed and then he blinked a bit irritated as the third man in the room stood up.

One of the biggest and muscular people he had ever seen gave him a gentle smile and offered a big hand.

“I'm Mike. Mike Zacharias. I'll be you partner.”, he spoke and they exchanged a firm handshake.

“It's great to get to know you, Mike. I'm looking forward to working together with you.”, Erwin declared and then Pixis pointed to the arm chair next to him.

“Come sit. We're just having a few drinks before the official part begins. Oh and another colleague will come here, too. The Commander of Westminster police station. We usually work close together when we support the police in the city of London.”, Pixis explained and Erwin sat down in the well used and comfortable leather arm chair.

“I see, so the metropolitan police actually does interfere with the city?”, Erwin asked as Zackly poured him a drink and Pixis nodded.

“Yes indeed. When it comes to murders and crimes of violence they often consult you. That's how I've set up the structures. Their daily business is thievery and burglary – anything else should be supported by the metropolitan offices around.”, Commissioner Zackly informed the newest member.

“To a great evening and a good start for our Chief Police Inspector from the south.”, Zackly spoke and they all rang their glasses before drinking the brandy.

Erwin pressed his jaws together for a moment. An uneasy feeling overcame him but he could not point at its source. It just was there.

“Erwin, if I might be so bold to address you by your first name right from the beginning? I think it helps to set up a more trusting and equal base for the two of us.”, Commander Pixis spoke as his eyes lay eager on Erwin's face.

“I agree.”, Erwin nodded and remembered Hans' words. “So should you be calling me Smith or by my full police title – I'm in trouble?”, he asked with a smile and the Commander laughed while he said: “Yes, you could say so. I can be you friend, but if you disappoint me, I can make you question if it was a good idea to come here.” His tone was friendly but left no doubt that he meant what he said.

_Entertaining and easily entertained but determined. A man with a vision. Maybe a different one than Hans but nevertheless. He knows how he wants things done._

“Then I'll try my best and not disappoint you.”, Erwin rose his glass and Pixis rang his against.

“Oh and Mike here.”, the Commander patted the big knee to his right.”He's your right hand. He's Police Inspector but I'm strongly considering to promote him – should you agree, Darius – after we have solved these new murders.”

“So Mike, how long have you been working at Leman Street already?”, Erwin asked with an open smile.

“Since I graduated from police school. So about 12 years now.”, he gave a short reply – just as Hans had predicted.

“And you still like it?”, Erwin tried to push forward the conversation.

The moustache moved a bit before he spoke up again.

“Police work is hard no matter where. So I try my best to make Whitechapel a better, saver place for the people living there. I appreciate that you voluntarily applied to work here.”, he spoke and gave Erwin a gentle, respectful smile.

Commissioner Zackly was the next one to raise his voice.

“So, this is something I wanted to ask you again now that you are here; why did you write to us? What made you change the centre of your life?”, Erwin was asked and again three pairs of eyes lay on him. Heavy this time.

_Because my father got killed and I couldn't find the murderer. Because my mother is insane and I'm a horrible son. Because I left so much behind in the south. So much I never want to think about again._

But before he could try to formulate an appropriate answer, they were interrupted again with a knock at the door.

“Come in!”, Zackly's voice invited again and Erwin's eyes widened.

For a moment all colour left his face, his jaws were pressing together, teeth grinding hard against another. He forgot to breathe and only when his brain alarmed a lack of oxygen he would take a deep breath.

Nile. Nile Dawk himself just had entered to room and carefully tried to avoid Erwin's eyes.

_No. No way._

“I'm sorry for the delay. Family matters.”, the dark haired man, that Erwin hasn't seen since more than 10 years, excused himself. His body language stiff, clearly uncomfortable.

“You already were informed for whom we're having this party tonight. So why not introduce yourself?”, Pixis asked and gestured towards Erwin.

Nile gulped heavily, a thin line of sweat became visible at his neck as he turned towards Erwin.

_No. No. No._

Now their eyes met. Erwin's all unbelieving, shocked, didn't even dare to blink while Nile's seemed stressed and uneasy. But also a hint of regret, of unspoken apologies came along as he reached out his hand.

“It's good to see you again, Erwin.”, he said with husky voice.

_I don't want to see you. I don't want to hear your voice._

Erwin didn't take his hand, didn't even get up , just left him standing there as now the other men would give him a questioning look.

“Again? So you two know each other?”, Zackly asked and Nile nodded while pulling back his hand.

“We went to the same police academy in Portsmouth. We were cadets in the same unit.”, Nile explained as Erwin still looked at him with disbelief.

“Oh that's quite a surprise!”, Pixis shouted out and clapped his hands. “We should drink to old friends then, shouldn't we?” - and filled their glasses again.

_Out. Out of here._

“Gentlemen, would you please excuse us for a moment”, Erwin said. His voice determined as he got up and hinted Nile to come with him.

“Oh sure, go ahead. But I can't promise that there will be much brandy left when you return.”, Pixis chuckled.

When Erwin closed the door behind him, he heard Pixis' voice: “That must be quite a moment for the two of them. Have to catch up with each other. Why didn't they write letters?”

They headed towards the next room – all empty but the furniture.

Nile didn't face Erwin. He leaned against the window sill and lowered his head with a soft out-breath.

Erwin's body was trembling, thousands of questions shooting through his mind. Emotions washed through him. Anger and pain the strongest of all.

After a few second Nile got himself upright again.

“I'm... I'm sorry, Erwin. I truly am sorry for everything that had happened back in Portsmouth.”, Nile said as his eyes clearly reflected the honesty of his words.

Erwin didn't reply, nor did his facial expression change. He just looked at Nile, stared at the man that had betrayed him together with the woman he had loved.

“Say something, please.”, Nile spoke quietly.

“What do you want me to say?”, Erwin whispered as he was afraid that his voice would betray him.

“Anything. Shout at me, if you'd like that.”, Nile's eyes wandering off, avoiding Erwin's gaze.

“Shouting? Me? When was the last time you have heard me shouting?”, Erwin's nasal wings widened as he got closer.

“I... I don't … know.”, Nile stuttered as his eyes found Erwin's eyes again.

“I'm not going to shout at you.”, Erwin assured him as he lifted his hands a got a good hold of Nile's collar, slowly lifting him up as the smaller one widened his eyes.

“Erwin, what are you doing? Let us talk about everything. I'm sorry, really.”, Nile's voice hinted panic as his slowly lost contact to the ground.

“Talk about what exactly?”, Erwin now pushed Nile against the book shelf in his back, the dark haired man holding on to Erwin's arms as his feet no longer touched the ground.

The collar started to cut into Nile's throat as he was taken by panic and gasping for air.

“Talk about how you betrayed me? How my best friend fucked with the girl that I loved with all my heart?”, Erwin's voice was a hiss through his teeth as he got very close to Nile.

The dark pupils widened.

“Talk about how you and Mary plotted against me? Played your games with me? You were fully aware that she also was fucking with me. Why wouldn't she tell me that she also was fucking with you? Why wouldn't you tell me that you were fucking with her?”, Erwin's voice cracked and he pressed his lips together.

“Listen, Erwin, I'm sorry. I never got the-”, Nile's voice was interrupted by his own need for air and he tried to take a deep breath while he burbled.

“Shut your god damn mouth. I don't want to hear your sorry excuse. You never had the guts to talk to me again ever.”, Erwin's voice clearly gave away that he was disappointed.

“For more than 10 fucking years I heard neither from you nor from Mary. She just told me, that she's sorry and that she would go to London with you. What do you think I'd made of that?”, Erwin's voice now got louder, his whole body was pressing against the man in front of him.

Nile was stuck between the book shelf and Erwin. His breathing got shorter, shallower and his fingers dug deep into Erwin's forearm. His eyes widened in panic, his mouth opening and closing to get some air into his lungs.

“We are done.”, Erwin whispered and his adrenaline filled body slowly got more controlled. His trembling arms let down Nile, his hands let go off his collar.

Coughing and spitting, Nile fell to his knees, hands hastily opening the cravat and collar and taking some deep breaths.

“We might be working under the same organisation now but I don't want to see you if it's not needed. Please make sure I don't have to see her. This is my only request.”, Erwin explained as he headed towards the door.

“She's here, Erwin. Mary is here.”, Nile coughed and pulled himself up by holding on to the table.

_No. No. Please, no._

“I tried to talk in to her... stay home with the children. But she wanted to come. I didn't tell her that you're the person that we hold this party for.”, Nile's voice a whisper as he got closer to Erwin.

_They have children... something Mary always told me she could only imagine with me._

“I'm so sorry Erwin, please believe me. I was young – we were young. It was selfish... from both of us and I'm not proud, neither is Mary”, Nile told Erwin who had stopped right at the door.

His hands formed to fists as he felt emotions taking over again.

“Please, just stop talking.”, Erwin spoke. “I'll return to the others, you find yourself an excuse – and leave. Take her with you and your god damn children.”

~~~

“There you are again, Erwin – no need to sit down, the party is about to get started, so we head over to the big room.”, Pixis informed him as he had returned.

 

The room where the party was about to be held was richly decorated and the buffet was about to get prepared. A band was practising on the stage and some younger members of the police stood around in uniform.

Erwin headed to the bar and got himself another drink. He definitely would need a couple of drinks tonight to deal with this new fact.

_I don't want to be here right now._

His thoughts were circling, not coming to a halt. Questions mixed with half-truths that he had made up in the past. He had locked up everything concerning those two so deep inside and now it all washed over him. Crawling through his flesh and mind and threatening to take over his rational thinking.

When he emptied his glass in one rush and ordered a new one, someone approached him from the side.

“How was the talking?”, Hans asked with a bright smile.

“It was interesting. And I think the Commander likes me.”, Erwin forced a smile.

“Oh good!”, Hans nodded and then stepped aside to give view on one of the younger police members. “Someone wants to meet you.”

Green, glowing eyes stared up at him. Brown, untamed hair showing below the helmet and the young man saluted properly.

“Sir, Chief Police Inspector Erwin Smith, Sir. It's an honour to meet you, Sir. I'm Police Constable Eren Jeager. I'm fulfilling my duty at Leman Street police station and I'm looking forward to have you with us, Sir.”, he spoke loudly, clearly and perfectly drilled.

“It's nice to meet you, Constable Jeager.”, Erwin spoke gently, offering the boy in his late teens a hand. “I'm looking forward to working together with you, too.”

“See? I told you he's a friendly man.”, Hans patted the Constable's shoulder.

Shaking fingers wrapped around his hand and a firm shake was exchanged.

“Aaaah, stay like this please. Just one moment.”

Erwin's eyebrows furrowed as a man was setting up a camera and directing it at them.

“Excuse me, Mister Springer.”, Hans addressed the man who was gone behind his camera.

“I think we informed you beforehand that you may only take pictures when you have the private interviews”, Hans declared.

“Oh, really? I think I must have missed that.”, he lied terribly bad then looked to Erwin and the Constable again. “Look at me please, hold still and smile.”, he ordered them.

While Eren Jaeger did what he was asked to, Erwin pull back his hand, eyebrows furrowing as he got closer to the camera.

“Mister Springer, if I heard that right? I'd kindly ask you to stick to any orders that were given to you by the police of London. Or given to you now. Otherwise we might see ourselves forced to remove you from the building.”, Erwin informed the man.

“Oh, I see. Quite the upright man, Chief Police Inspector Smith? Without doubt.”, the man chuckled.

“I'm Connie Springer, I run one of the newspaper in London so you might want to consider your words with me.”, he smiled and offered Erwin his hand along with a business card.

_What a talker._

Erwin took the card, quickly scanned it.

'Connie Springer – The Daily Telegraph'

“I'm not re-considering my words.”, he declared. “You're welcome to stay but if you got informed beforehand what you may do when, please follow these orders.”

“Oooh, I see. You are more than upright. Might get quite interesting between the two of us.”, Springer laughed as he gave in and took up the big camera equipment again.

“Erwin, that was quite impressive.”, Hans explained with his eyebrows all the way up. “I've never seen him give up so fast.”

“Sir, Mister Smith, Sir. I agree! You will meet Connie Springer every other day – please keep up your attitude.”, Constable Jaeger agreed with glowing cheeks.

“He admires you – read all about you before you came here.”, Hans whispered and Erwin's expression finally got a bit more relaxed.

The small disruption had helped to push the rather unpleasant thoughts further back again.

So he grabbed his new drink and as he turned around, trying to find Mike and get to talk to him a bit, the moment couldn't have been more unreal.

Everything slowed down and the music and chatter around him faded to silence.

His eyes widened as Nile entered the room again, this time facing Erwin with his back, desperately trying to avoid that someone else would enter.

This someone else was Mary. All grown up, the childishness gone from her face. Beautiful as ever nevertheless, long, dark brownish hair falling to her waist. Her face all glowing, her dark eyes giving Nile a questioning look.

She wore a beautiful dark green dress with a corset. Gold jewellery around her neck and matching golden and green gloves covered her lower arms.

_Mary, my beautiful Mary._

Besides her, there was a small boy. Maybe not even 4 years old. Their son, without any doubt. Almost black, dark brown hair. Mary's eyes, Nile's nose.

The three of them stepped further inside the room. Nile obviously gave up on making a scene in front of everyone.

_He tried to respect my wish._

And then Erwin's glass slipped through his fingers. His heart seemed to stop for a moment as behind Mary someone else appeared.

A girl, maybe 13 or 14 years old. She had blue eyes, piercing blue eyes and wore an equally blue dress. Her light brown locks were tied to a ponytail but heavy curls fell over her shoulders. She was beautiful, surreal beautiful.

_It can't be._

Erwin gulped heavily, tumbling back against the bar and Hans gave him a concerned look, the touch of the doctor pulling him back to the very moment.

“Are you alright?”, Hans asked concerned.

Erwin needed a moment to re-focus, then he looked at Hans.

“Nile – and his wife. Are those their kids?”, he asked with a sharp breath.

“Yes, that's Amilia and Peter. They always bring them along to events like this. Amilia is beautiful, isn't she? ”, Hans asked.

_Amilia? No. No no no no... this can't be. This is the name I always wished for my daughter and Mary knew it._

“Do you know how old she is?”, Erwin asked, his voice about to crack.

“14 years and a bit I think? But you can just go over and ask them. Nile's wife loves to talk about her children. She's such a friendly woman.”, Hans commented and patted Erwin on the shoulder.

_14 years old. Mary and Nile left Portsmouth in August 1864. 14 years and 5 months ago. Could this... can this...?_

“Are you sure you are alright?”, Hans asked again, his eyebrows narrowing and Erwin forced himself to nod.

His body felt numb. His mind no longer remembered how to work, what to do.

Erwin leaned his body against the bar and stared. Stared at the woman that he once had loved with all his heart. The woman that obviously had carried his child, his daughter, when she had left him for Nile.

“I'll be right back. I'm just going to make sure that Dot is not too drunk for some official photographs.”, Hans explained as he nodded towards Commander Pixis that was gulping down another glass.

_Good idea. I'll follow my commander's lead._

And so he poured down some more gin before heading to the side of the podium – it was about time.

~~~

“Ladys and gentlemen!”, Zackly raised his voice while the music faded out and the conversations throughout the room died and all eyes focused on the stage.

Erwin had successfully avoided to run into Mary and lucky enough she hadn't spotted him yet. Nile looked more and more desperate, not knowing what to do, how to prevent what was about to happen.

“Today is a special day for Scotland Yard. Not only have all of you found your way here”, a short pause with some chuckles from the audience.

“Today I want to give our new Chief Police Inspector the chance to get to know you while you can get to know him. Alongside Commander Dot Pixis, whom you might all know, we have Chief Police Inspector Erwin Smith joining us for our office in Leman Street from tomorrow on.”, Zackly's voice sounded excited.

_Now she knows._

Her face said it all. Her eyes widened, hands rising to her face, covering her mouth as she looked around in panic, whispering something to Nile before she turned her head towards the stage again, her beautiful, long hair moving with every movement of her head.

“You might think that this is not worth this party, but I think it is. Erwin Smith was one of the brightest heads on the south coast and barely someone with his rank voluntarily would ask to work in Whitechapel. But this man did. And he earns all of our respect for doing so. Please welcome, Chief Police Inspector Erwin Smith!”, Zackly's voice almost cracked in excitement.

_Oh god. Please no._

Erwin climbed up the two steps to the podium while the people clapped for him.

_This will be your first impression. Make it a good one._

He quickly shook hands with Zackly and then the stage was all his. He carefully tried to avoid Mary's eyes and with a deep breath he adjusted his collar and cravat.

With a determined yet friendly expression he scanned the audience for a second. All sorts of men and women, police as well as politicians. Some faces were known to him from newspapers others he could only guess to what category they belonged.

To the left, there was a table with two men, a rather unique duo – one being quite known for stepping in his father's footsteps although he was adopted and the other one being a complete odd on one out in this room. Small, petite almost to say, holding on to his glass as if his life depended on it. His dark eyes stared at Erwin who contested the gaze for a moment before he raised his voice.

“Thank you very much for your kind words, Commissioner Zackly.”, Erwin spoke in a friendly tone.

_Fuck. I can't... do this._

Erwin hesitated for a moment, his mind wanting two different things at the same time, so with a shudder he gave in.

_Mary. My beautiful Mary._

Finally their eyes met and Erwin's chest felt like it would explode. She stared at him, tears silently running down her cheeks. “I'm sorry” - that's what her eyes were saying and Erwin forced himself to look away, to continue with a wild beating heart in his chest.

“I'm neither a man of many words nor am I a man of great words. I'd just like to thank everyone for coming here tonight. I feel honoured by this warm welcome and I'm looking forward to fulfil my duty as new member at Leman Street police station with all my heart.”, he spoke and paused for a moment.

“So before I bore you all to death and you all have to stand around much longer – let's get to know each other better while we enjoy the buffet, that Commissioner Zackly has arranged for us.”

Everyone appreciated his rather short speech and while he received an applause the first people already headed towards the buffet.

He caught a glimpse of the black haired man again before Commander Pixis shook his hand.

“Well done, Erwin, well done.”, he congratulated him.

The evening was filled with scheduled appointments and chit chat between more drinks – drinks that he welcomed so much. It helped him numb his thoughts and to ignore that Mary was looking at him from distance.

At some point Zackly informed Erwin about some interviews that would take place in the room upstairs where they had met before.

“We should get some drinks.”, Dot smiled, his face hinting that he already had more than enough but Erwin took the chance.

He wasn't drunk yet, maybe a bit tipsy. But so far he was doing a good job in not letting a certain person in this room let him lose his mind. He was happy, sort of and talkative. He had had some good conversations with Mike and Hans, also young Jaeger dropped by occasionally and brought along another Constable. Armin Arlert, too poor to attend medical school, but Hans already told Erwin, that Arlert was sticking around him a lot in the police station.

Erwin headed towards the bar and as the queue was quite long, he cut in line as friendly as possible.

He ended up having quite a conversation with the man he had observed earlier already. His charm somehow paid out and he left with two bottles of gin and a name.

_Levi._

Erwin really had enjoyed the talk and he somehow wasn't too sure about Levi's origin. The way he had pronounced his name was off. The rest seemed perfectly practised.

His eyes were interesting and Erwin wondered what they had already seen. He always was curious about people's stories – especially since they would distract him from his own story.

Drinks were shared with Commissioner Zackly and Commander Pixis, Connie Springer had some questions and took some pictures. Then some other people from other newspapers would do the same – Erwin feeling more and more tired from the alcohol and the situation as a whole.

He tried to strictly avoid any thoughts about Nile and Mary or his daughter when the first came in.

“Erwin?”, he spoke and the blonde gave him a questioning look.

“Could I please talk to you for a moment? It won't take long, I promise.”, he said while his eyes lay on Erwin's face.

 So they stepped outside. 

“What is it?”

“Mary wants to talk to you.”, Nile spoke bluntly.

Erwin's eyes widened.

“What?”

_See her. Smell her. Touch her._

“I know... but she told me I should tell you that she would like to talk to you and-”

“Fine. Where is she?”, Erwin sighed.

“In the basement. You don't need to if you don't-”

_Kiss her. Feel her. Embrace her._

“I'll go. I'll bring her up here with me.”, Erwin declared and was on his way, leaving Nile behind.

~~~

The basement was almost pitch dark and nobody was to be seen. Just some waiters bringing used things to the kitchen.

Erwin tumbled through the dark, trying to make his way through desks, his eyes searching for Mary.

“Erwin?”, a whisper. _Her_ whisper.

He turned around, the door to one of the offices was open and dim light gave away Mary's silhouette.

With clumsy steps he found his way, eyes wide, filled with tears.

“I'm so sorry. I'm so incredibly sorry, Erwin.”, she whispered as he stood before her and gave the door behind him a soft nudge.

Erwin couldn't move, couldn't say anything.

_Am I dreaming?_

She rose her glove covered hands and shaking fingers cupped his face.

_Am I dead?_

Sparkles blurred Erwin's vision even more. The touched felt unreal.

_Why have you done this to me? Is Amilia my daughter?_

“Yes, she is your daughter.”, she whispered as if she could read his mind. “And I named her Amilia... because I never fully stopped to love you. I wanted to remember you every day.”, tears now were running down her cheeks. “And now that you are here before me... I just... I was so young, I was afraid and I...”, heavy sobbing interrupted her words.

_What?_

Erwin had problems to find his speech as his throat was constricted by all the emotions, all the words he wanted to say.

“Look at me.”, he finally said as his hands reached for her shoulders, gently touching her naked skin around the neck.

_How I have missed this._

“Mary, why have you left me? Why have you been lying to me?”, he asked relatively calm before his voice got more upset. “Why did you never tell me that you were pregnant? Why did you never tell me that I have a daughter? A beautiful daughter with you, the woman I gave my heart to?”

Silent sobbing filled the room as they equally couldn't react to the situation.

“I was afraid, I didn't know what to do. I was confused and he... Nile convinced me that I would be better off with him and in London.”, she whispered as her thumps gently stroke over Erwin's cheeks.

A shiver went down his spine and he closed his eyes for a moment.

“And I didn't tell you about her because I didn't want to hurt you, not more than I had already. I never would have thought that we would meet again... that this day finally would come.”, a desperate smile, covered in tears, formed on her lips.

“This day?”, Erwin asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“The day I can finally see you again... Erwin, I've missed you. You can not imagine how much I've missed you.”, she sobbed as her hands glided down over Erwin's throat to his chest.

_This must be a dream. Or I'm really dead._

“Erwin, can you... can you believe that we meet again? This must be our destiny”, a sad smile now spreading on her face.

Erwin froze, her touch being too unreal, her scent spreading in his mind, recovering memories long forgotten.

“Will you not say anything?”, she whispered.

“Destiny.”, Erwin echoed and breathed out amused. “So you think that after 14 years of Nile you now can have me back?”, he asked cynicaly.

Desperate sobbing and more tears brought Mary's face closer to Erwin, her hands now reaching for his hands.

“Please... touch me.”, she breathed and led his hands to her waist.

Erwin's eyes closed relaxed as he let it happen. Let Mary be in control of the situation. Her warm body felt nice and soft through the fabric of her skirt.

He felt hot breathe against his chin and Mary leaned in.

When he opened his eyes, she was close to him, her eyes beautiful as ever, looking up to him, tears running down her face.

“Kiss me.”, she cried while her hands reached for his neck, gently but demanding pulling him down to her.

And then they kissed and everything else became irrelevant.

Hot breathing, wet tongues. Touching hands, demanding bites. Old memories replayed and overwritten. Names moaned with lust, promises whispered. Vows renewed, clothing pulled away.

_Mary. My beautiful Mary._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, episode 11 of S2 fucked me right in the feels today. So I took those feelings and put them in the writing process for the majority of this chapter. It was planned like this and I'm not sorry for giving you some more suffering Erwin here.
> 
> It's longer than I had intended but that's how writing is, isn't it?
> 
> I hope you are happy with the newly added cast in this chapter. Any feedback is appreciated since this is my first slow burn fic ever :3


	6. Isabel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Un-betad atm]
> 
> We get to know more about Isabel and her relation with Levi and Farlan. Levi's 'business' partners get introduced as well as the double life of one character is being reveiled.  
> And Chief Police Inspector Erwin Smith meets Levi again.

"Leeeviiiii!", an all too familiar voice was shouting from afar. He had just made his way through the crowded streets around Piccaddily Circus and had been able to have a glance at Isabel's scarlet red hair. It was certainly helping him to navigate towards her.

_I hate people._

Dirty, wet coats and clothing pressed against him, mud splashed up from the wet ground and heavy boots. But he made his way through the people, using elbows and shoulders to find a path until he reached fresh air again – finally free from the crowd.

“Levi!”, Isabel's voice could be heard again and when he looked up and straightened his jacket, he looked into big, friendly eyes and Isabel was greeting him with a big smile. Levi felt a certain relief now that he finally saw her after a few weeks, on the first glance unharmed, just a bit thinner than last time he had seen her.

~~~

While Isabel was stuffing everything in her mouth as if she was close to starving – and considering her current situation she probably didn't have regular meals – Levi just ate a stew that was more like a thin soup and some bread. It became routine that he would treat Isabel with a meal whenever they met and she would eat as much as she could every time.

“When was the last time you had a proper meal?”, Levi asked and Isabel gulped down a piece of meat before she replied. “ 'bout five days ago. Since then I'd ale 'n gin to keep me stomach filled and me body warm.”, she spoke quickly before cutting off another big piece of meat and chewing on it like an animal.

Levi furrowed his brows in disgust, pulling back his head and letting down the spoon. “You have to take care of yourself, Isabel. Eat properly, get yourself a place to stay. Your own place preferably... I can help you with the payment.”, he spoke.

“I try to eat whenever I can but I... started to take singing lessons and I can't afford regular meals or a flat now. And no, I don't wan' your help. I can take care of me own.”, Isabel stated and tried to avoid eye contact with Levi as well as the topic of her exact whereabouts.

Grey eyes narrowed and Levi put down his spoon.

“How much do you pay for the singing lessons? Who is your teacher? Where are you taking them? How did you find them?”, he wanted to know with a sharp voice and he couldn't avoid that his body was tensing. These were dangerous times to be alive for a girl living on her own.

_I worry about you._

Isabel's eyebrows went up and she blinked irritated. “I won't tell.”, she sighed and crossed her arms in front of her chest after she had put down her knife and fork. Her eyes were examining Levi's face who was looking at her with a concerned expression on his face.

If he'd tell her that he worried about her, she'd laugh about it and not take it seriously – yet she seemed to understand that Levi had no bad intentions and with a sigh she took up the fork and the knife again. The clattering sound of the utensils on her plate started again as she spoke. “The price is mod'rate and it's near to the Tower – so I could come visit you afterwards?”, she tried to turn the conversation to her favour and offered Levi a bright smile.

But he didn't seem convinced, lips pressed together as he took a deep breath through his nose. The closer she was to places like Whitechapel, the more concerned Levi was.

“I'd prefer if you stay away from the East, Isabel. Are you aware that there is a murderer that's killing young women?”, he spoke out his real concern about Isabel now.

“Yea, kind a. I've heard people talkin' and the newspapers are fill'd with it. I am taking care of me self, don't worry, Levi.”, she replied rather unimpressed and put another thick slice of meat in her mouth. Despite her slender build, she was capable of eating quite a lot.

“Can you please try to find a place to stay? If all else fails, you can stay with me.”, Levi offered although he had gotten quite used to living on his own, had made himself comfortable in his small attic room. He never had been someone to be around other people for long. Yet he'd rather share his privacy with Isabel than knowing her in danger.

“I don't wan'a bother you, Levi. So... no, I'm not going to stay with you and you don't need to help me.”, she spoke without looking up, eyes all fixed on the food in front of her. Suddenly a smile crossed her face as she looked up again and laughed: “But please do continue to invite me for a meal whenever we meet.”

Levi couldn't help but breathe out amused – Isabel was untamable, a wild cat in a big city and Levi was pretty sure that she would be able to use her claws if needed.  
To make sure, he handed her a knife when they parted ways later that day. A light and filigree blade that Levi had bought a few weeks ago for the purpose of giving to Isabel when he felt like giving it to her.

“Your birthday is coming up soon.”, Levi spoke while Isabel examined the blade. “Would you like to go eating with Farlan and me? We could also go on a little trip, head over to-”, Levi got cut off.

“Eating is fine, Levi. Really. You a' doing more fo' me than you have to. And I already feel like I'm owing you so much. But if you really want to invite me for dinner?”, big, forest green eyes looked at him.

“What about Farlan? You know he loves you as much as I do and he really misses you.”. Levi went in on the topic.

“I know.”, Isabel gulped heavily, avoiding eye contact with Levi once more as her chin sank down on her chest.

“He asks for you every time I see him.”, Levi's voice - quite gentle - informed her and his eyes got a softness to them that was uncommon. Yet it came naturally. Farlan and Isabel were the closest thing to family he ever got to know after his mother had passed away.

Isabel licked her lips before finally nodding. “Fine. Bring him with you. It's been quite a while since I've seen him, so things might be different now. You know? I also get older... and more... mature.”, she smiled.

Levi felt proud and nodded with a smile as he raised his hand to ruffle through her hair. “Stop that!”, she protested with a smile and was trying to push away Levi who let go off her. He didn't want to give her the feeling of treating her like a child when she just had told him how mature she was and obviously was willing to speak with Farlan now.

“So we meet at Spitalfields Market on your birthday – there's a new Indian restaurant. 6 PM?”, Levi suggested and Isabel nodded. “Wear one of the dresses that I gave to you, yes?”, he asked with a smile. “The restaurant won't let you in with uncombed hair and dirty clothes. Take a coach, I'll pay for you once you are there, promise?”

Isabel just nodded, green eyes sparkling with excitement.

Their goodbye was short but warm, Isabel hugging Levi, clinging onto him as if her life depended on it – for a few seconds only. She always had been an affectionate girl and treated Levi like a brother she never had. “Thank you.”, she muttered against his cloak before she turned around and ran away into the crowded streets

_Silly child._

“Take care!”, Levi called after her.  
He barely had been able to place his hands on her shoulders when the moment was gone already and only her faint scent remained. Pastries and flowers and everything that was warm and good.

~~~

Levi's daily business was far different from what Farlan and Isabel thought he was doing. No fancy business contracts with traders from around the world, no spices and antiques, no jewelry and tea. Oh well... occasionally it would include one of these things but certainly not in a legal way.

Just as tonight when he met with Gunther, Eld and Oluo near Monument. His acquaintances hired him regularly to help them. He respected the group and their way of work, they always were prepared, made no mistakes, paid him as agreed. But beyond that these people were what Levi could almost call friends.  
And besides them having meals and booze together, occasionally visiting other places as well, Oluo's wife, Petra, was what attracted Levi the most.

Not in any sexual way – he wouldn't touch a married woman, quite in contrast to a certain new Chief Police Inspector – but she was a fountain of knowledge with her double life.

During the day she was a well-payed secretary, organising the daily business of the higher ranks in Leman Street, a pretty face in a male dominated work environment that nobody would suspect to have any dubious intentions.

But once she left the police station and its people behind, she started her other, her real life as Mrs Bozad. She had married one of London's most notorious criminals. They had fallen in love during his trial where she had to protocol all statements – and he got acquitted. Six months later a very drunk party of people, including Levi, blackmailed a priest and the two of them got married.

Since then the business was booming for the group which also got Levi involved more and more – yet he wanted to remain independent and didn't exclusively commit himself to them. He would take any job that was to his liking and brought him enough money.

“Lee, no guns tonight, just as you like it. The police has been around a lot in the last weeks. So we'll work silent and precise with the blades – should we need them. The ship will arrive in less than 30 minutes.”, Oluo spoke and handed the bottle of brandy to Levi who immediately passed it on to Eld.

_Don't get wasted already..._

They were going over the plan once more, making sure that their watches were synchronised and then they were off for the job...

Only an hour later they met at the arranged meeting point. Everything had worked out as planned and Levi only had to kill one guard with a quick stab to the heart – body flowing downstream in the dark of the night while the rest of the group got their hands on the requested items.

“Good job everyone.”, Oluo praised them as he collected the requested goods for their client. Golden figurines and some jewelry that would soon find a new owner.

They all headed to Oluo's and Petra's flat - spread over three coaches to make sure it was harder to follow them - and after the goods were stored, they got some champagne bottles and Levi pulled a small pack of opium from his jacket.

“We'll leave you to your champagne and are in the next room.”, Petra excused herself and Levi from the rest of the group when she had seen what Levi carried with him.

Oluo followed her gaze and a smile crossed his face as he approached his wife. “Take care, darling, yes? Let me know if Levi gives you any reason to upset you.”, he spoke and pulled her close, placing an arm around her hips.

She smiled, leaning in as her hands ran through his neck. “I will make sure to tell you, but I'm convinced that Levi just wants to talk police business.”, she smiled and then they kissed. It was quite a passionate kiss and when they parted lips, Petra's cheeks were slightly red.

“What a woman.”, Oluo murmured as Petra and Levi headed towards the next room before his voice got louder as he opened the first champagne bottle: “And she is my wife!” and Gunther and Eld cheered with him.

Levi and Petra sat down on a sofa in the next room, next to the fireplace and he began to prepare the opium pipe.

_Ask her now..._

“What can you tell me about that Smith?”, Levi asked Petra after he had dragged on his pipe, head falling back on the wide sofa.

“I was wondering when you would ask.”, she smiled and reached for the pipe in Levi's hand. Slender finger wrapped around the ebony piece and Levi blinked lazily as she took it from him to drag on it.

She closed her eyes, just as Levi had moments ago and hummed with a satisfied smile. Levi examined her face for a moment, followed the line of the fine lips over her button nose and when she opened her honey colored eyes she smiled at Levi. “Good quality.”, she let him know as she handed the pipe back.

“Why were you wondering when I would ask about him?”, Levi wanted to know.

“Well... he's working in your area now, high rank, not one of those street constables that you can trick. And also …”, she smirked before licking her lips. “I think he's your type, am I right?”

Levi breathed out with a sigh. Since he had been working with the group, Petra would always try to find him a good match. And although he never openly had spoken about his interest in the male gender, she had this sense for it and would tease and test him whenever possible. So far she had found out some of his preferences but he wouldn't admit to all of them.

_But you have a point with this Smith..._

“Yeah, totally.” The sarcasm in his voice could not be hidden. “I like big assholes that are so full of themselves that even their eyebrows represent the size of their ego.”

Petra chuckled before a hearty laugh left her lips and Levi smirked too.

“Actually, his eyebrows are one of the most discussed things in Leman Street.”, she smiled and reached for the pipe in Levi's hand again.

Levi raised his eyebrow, giving her a questioning look as he handed the pipe to her.

“I bet the ladies are interested in the size of something else that Mr. Smith owns.”, he tried to provoke her now.

“Oh Levi. Shoosh! No lady would ever dare to speak about that openly at her workplace.... but I see their eyes, their gazes, their parted lips when he walks by. And I swear – I do not see him react to any of that.”, she informed him and dragged on the pipe.

_So his interest belongs to Nile Dawk's wife only?_

“I think you should try your luck. He favours his own gender and … I mean he obviously doesn't look bad?”, Petra giggled with a bright smile on her face. “But don't tell Oluo that I said that – I'm not much of a lady when I'm home anyway but saying something like this?”

Levi smirked and shook his head. “Not a word, I promise.”, Levi murmured as the drug started to have a heavier influence on his mind.

_And you better keep everything you have guessed and figured out about me a secret too._

“What do you know about him already so I can spare you the boring parts.”, she wanted to know.

“What was told on the welcome party. That's basically it.”, Levi dragged on his pipe again, head spinning for a moment.

_Really some good quality... where did I get this again?_

“I mean... it's only been two weeks since he joined us, so I can't tell much.”, Petra lazily rolled to the side, head now resting on the armrest of the sofa as her dark blue dress unfolded over the red fabric.

“Whatever you can tell me.”, Levi tried to encourage her while he was barely able to open his eyes.

Petra giggled, licking her lips as she ran a hand through her hair. Levi knew exactly what she was thinking. She took a deep breathe before she started to speak.

“So... Mr. Smith is always on time. He looks quite puzzled sometimes when he arrives – his neatly parted hair is not in place or he only shaved half his face, sometimes the buttons on his vest would even be undone – but he always is on time. Something that the old Pixis really appreciates.”, she began and closed her eyes.

Levi did the same – his eyelids were heavy, the opium was kicking in and Petra's voice made it easy to vividly imagine what she was telling.

“He is a gentleman right out of a picture book, always takes of his hat when he greets one of us secretaries, always offering help, asking if we need anything. He smiles a lot... yet I think a lot of the time it's not honest.”, she breathed out.

_Aren't we all liars?_

“He works good as a team with Dr. Zoe and Zacharias – quite the odd trio if you ask me but they get along. Smith is also living with our doctor at the moment. The cadets and constables respect him and he accompanies them on their normal patrolling and says it helps him to get a better sense for Whitechapel. I think he just wants to impress his underlings and maybe … you know?”, Petra chuckled.

_Don't be silly, he's interested in Mrs. Dawk._

“Besides that he is busy with the murders, which I'm pretty sure you've heard of. So maybe going with the constables is more a way of getting his head clear?”, Petra furrowed her brows and then sighed.

“We find a new corpse almost every day at the moment and the odd trio is examining these corpses and searching for leads on the crime scenes, they question people, they search streets – I honestly don't know when they sleep. It doesn't make any difference when I work, they are always there...”

Levi cleared his throat and opened his eyes lazily, reaching for the pipe again.

“So they never change clothes and smell like a horde of pigs?”, he asked, eyes half closed and Petra chuckled.

“No. The police would never allow that. Of course they go home, bathe, change clothes – but I can't tell for sure if they sleep, that would explain why they all seem constantly puzzled.”, she also opened her eyes and found Levi's gaze.

“Tell me more.”, he said after he had dragged on his pipe again and handed it over to Petra.

“Oh Levi! You are quite interested aren't you!”, she chuckled. “You mean about the murders or Smith?”

“Smith”, Levi spoke faster than he wanted to admit and he couldn't avoid to vividly imagine the tall, blond, handsome man – he even remembered what he had smelled like when they had their short encounter at the bar.

“Well... so, what more can I tell you....hmmm”, she seemed to think for a moment and then suddenly, Levi took a deep breath.

“I have an idea.”, Levi spoke and opened his eyes. “Why don't you set up a dinner for the odd trio for next Saturday in the restaurant that I'll be at anyway.”

~~~

A few days later Levi arrived at Spitalfields Market just in time. He had put on one of the handmade suits that he had received from Farlan. Grey fabric, a black vest and a white shirt. Leather gloves and an umbrella, considering the weather. He wore his hair sleek back and a grey cravat around his neck.

Once he had paid the coachman he heard Farlan's voice. He turned around to look into his friend's face and they shared a handshake – in public it would not be an option for Farlan to greet anyone with a hug.

They strolled around the area where the coaches arrived but after 30 minutes had passed and Isabel still was nowhere to be seen they decided to head to the restaurant. Levi had made a reservation and they better would not be late since the cuisine of the just opened Indian restaurant with the name “The Golden Elephant” was very popular already.

The atmosphere was just as the name would suggest. Everything was polished, shining, lush with lots of gold and flowers while the heavy but pleasant scents of foreign spices and herbs filled the air. Somewhere in the back of the restaurant a sitar player was about his business and Levi and Farlan were guided to their table after someone had taken care of their coats. Curiously Levi's eyes scanned the people present but he couldn't see Mr. Smith yet.

They were seated near a window, the menu brought and just when they ordered some light wine, Levi could spot Isabel outside. She looked beautiful in the dark green dress that was supporting her eyes so well. Her hair was combed and a richly decorated hair pin held it together. She was carrying a hand bag and was wearing white gloves.

_Like a real lady._

“I'm going to pick up Isabel.”, he let Farlan know and nodded towards her while getting up from his chair.

Once he was outside, Isabel spotted him right away and her eyes lit up as she started walking towards him, maybe a bit to fast for a _real lady._

Levi's eyes were all fixed on her beautiful face, the bright and honest smile...

_She can be such a grown up young woman._

...so he couldn't avoid what was happening next.

Isabel ran into someone, falling against their shoulder and the impact let the other person stumble, their hat falling down. Isabel's eyes widened as she tripped over the fabric of her dress and was about to fall if not the other person would have reacted right away and caught her.

Levi widened his eyes when he saw that this other person was Mr. Smith himself, blinking irritated and some strands of his golden hair were out of place and hanging into his face.

Isabel was quick to find her words again and with blushing cheeks she mumbled: “Pardon me, Sir. I'm so sorry, please forigve me, Sir.” - she knew that her behaviour could have bad consequences for her if she wouldn't act properly.

Levi slowly approached the strange duo and he could see Mr. Smith smiling gently. “No need to apologize, M'lady. I hope you are unhurt? I am at fault, I was chatting with my colleague here when my attention should have been somewhere else.”

Levi interrupted the situation by picking up Smith's hat from the ground and wiping of the mud with his glove while Isabel slowly parted from her saviour.

 

“Chief Police Inspector Smith.”, Levi raised his voice. “I'm so sorry that we meet again under such circumstances.”.

Their eyes met and Levi felt tension running down his spine.

_Those damn blue eyes._

“Mister Levi, what a surprise to see you here.”, Erwin Smith said with a friendly smile. “I was just about to save this lady who almost fell because of me.”, he explained himself as his hands quickly brought his hair in place again.

“Oh I could see your noble action – and I need to apologize too, would I have waited longer for my dear friend to arrive, she would not have run towards me and into you.”, Levi smiled.

_It's so pathetic. I'm so pathetic._

“Your friend? I'm utmost in your debt, M'lady.”, Erwin Smith turned his attention towards the still blushing Isabel – Levi could sense and see right away that she liked Erwin Smith's look.

She stumbled through her words, almost making a fool out of herself, so Levi decided to step in.

“Your hat, Chief Police Inspector Smith.”, he offered the item and Erwin took it from him. “Let me know if you want it replaced, I'll take care of that.”, Levi offered.

“Oh, I don't think there's a need for that. It's like new, isn't it?”, Erwin Smith smiled.

For a moment there was an awkward silence.

_Will you not introduce your colleagues?_

“Levi?”, Isabel was the one to interrupt the silence with a face that Levi didn't like. She had trouble to hide her emotions and right now she was about to confess something.

The Chief Police Inspector understood as well.

“We'll be going, our table is reserved and we better not let them wait.”, Erwin Smith put on his hat and bowed. Since he didn't know the exact background of he young woman that had run into him, he didn't offer a kiss on her hand.

Levi waited until the police was in the restaurant.

“What is it?”, he wanted to know. Eyes focusing on Isabel.

Her facial expression was conflicting, she seemed full of joy and yet something saddened her.

“Tell me already – Farlan is waiting.”, Levi tried to hurry her.

“I'll join you later. I can't eat with you now... I have... a musical theatre wants to have me sing for them.”, her voice was shaking, eyes widened in excitement as she spoke.

"I mean... they want to hear me and then they might hire me but I'm sure they'll take me!”, her hand reached for Levi's, small fingers gently holding on to him.

“But I have to be there in less than an hour and … therefore I can't eat with you now. But I'll join you as soon as I'm done singing and come back to you with good news – I mean... it is my birthday.”, her words were bubbling out and Levi knew that he had no chance to keep her here for the moment.

Also, he wouldn't want to. Because seeing Isabel this happy and excited made him happy. He just would have wished that he would have known sooner.

“First of all: happy birthday, Isabel.”, he said and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. “I'm glad to see you. You look beautiful.”

They looked at each other in silence for a moment and Isabel blushed. Levi then reached for the inner pocket of his jacket. “We'll be waiting here for you to celebrate your birthday with you later. For now, please promise me that you take good care of yourself... do you have my present from the other day with you?”, he wanted to know.

And Isabel nodded, gently tapping against her right thigh. “Right here with me.”, she spoke.

“Good. Then let me give you your birthday present now already – it shall bring you luck for your audition.”, he smiled and pulled out a small box from his jacket and handed it to Isabel.

Curiously she blinked and mustered the box. Slender fingers opened it and when she saw its content her eyes widened.

“Do you like it?”, Levi asked and Isabel nodded. “Then let me put in on you?” and she nodded again.

He took the fine silver chain from the box and went around Isabel, gently putting the necklace around her neck to close it.

“It's beautiful... Levi, thank you so much!”, she almost whispered while she examined the silver lavaliere that had one pearl in it. It was crafted from a true master's hand and was shaped like a magnolia.

“I'm glad you like it.”, Levi smiled and Isabel couldn't resist and threw herself around Levi's neck.

“Thank you so much, Levi. It is so beautiful...”, she whispered against his chest before she pulled her head back.

“And thank you for understanding! I will go there, sing, get me first real job and then come back to you to celebrate!”, she explained with a bright smile before turning to one of the coaches.

“Wait! Take some money, please.”, Levi pulled a few coins from his pocket. “Make sure to take care and take a coach back again. Where is the audition?”

“Yes, I will. Thank you for everything.”, she spoke honest. “It's over at Limehouse.”

_I wish you all the best in the world._

~~~

Farlan showed understanding for her situation – he just seemed very happy for Isabel and her opportunity – and the two friends had a relaxed dinner.

The wine and the tea was good, the food was tasty, the waiters attentive, the sitar player not too pushy. They talked about politics – Farlan got more and more involved into the affairs of his family – about Isabel, about the weather and Farlan asked about Levi's success in business.

And yet Levi barely listened since his attention was focused on another table, only a few metres away.

He could examine the back of the tallest of them three with wide shoulders, a clean hair cut and slow movements. Mike Zacharias, according to Petra's descriptions. Levi was sure that he had seen him in Whitechapel before but he would need to see his face again to make sure. When he met them outside to greet Petra, all his attention had been on his friend and this goddamn Smith.

To his right was the man with the long, brown hair who was one of Leman Street's curiosities; their doctor, Hans Zoe. Well known in Whitechapel and beyond for his unusual working methods and his interest in corpses. He always looked a bit filthy besides his clean clothes.

And to his left sat Erwin Smith. Stunning presence, sharp gaze in a clean cut face – surely he must have had enough sleep the last days because his face had a good colour,the side burns were trimmed neatly, to perfection almost and his hair, just like his dominant eyebrows just perfectly completed the picture of this gentleman.

Their eyes met from time to time and each time this intense blue sent a shiver down his spine – it almost felt as if Erwin Smith could look right into his soul. The longer the evening lasted, the more often they seemed to make eye contact – Levi wasn't sure if it was the alcohol – wine was one of the rare occasions that he actually would drink more than a glass – but he was sure that the Chief Police Inspector did not by accident look over.

_And what am I doing? I'm pathetic._

“Are you even listening?”, Farlan's voice ripped him out of his thoughts.

“I'm... no, I haven't exactly.”, Levi stuttered and furrowed his brows. “Excuse for a moment -”, Levi got up, the wine making him light-headed and he had to hold on to the table for a moment.

“Are you all right?”, Farlan asked with a concerned expression on his face, jaws pressed together.

“Yes... I'll just …. I'm sorry... excuse me for a moment.”, Levi repeated as he straightened his shoulders and took a deep breath.

_You can not embarrass yourself. Pull yourself together. Farlan deserves a better conversation partner..._

Levi somehow managed to put one foot in front of the other, walking relatively straight towards the wash rooms.

~~~

The water in his face felt good and it refreshed him. He examined his eyes in the mirror. He didn't look that drunk but on the other hand he only rarely was drinking at all – and he might have had a bit too much opium in the last days so his body was weakened.

Nevertheless he wanted to be a good friend and listener for Farlan. And since Isabel hopefully would join them soon he didn't want to disappoint her either.

_Only tea and water for me now, no more wine._

He ran his fingers through his hair, making sure it was still in place and then grabbed a clean towel to dry his face. His hands fumbled on his collar and he took another look in the mirror. A confident smile crosses his face as he left the washing room again.

_Tonight will be a good night._

While he was walking down the narrow hallway towards the dining room he pulled out his pocket watch, wanting to see how long it had been since Isabel excused herself. And now it was him almost running into the tall blond but they both reacted in time.

They tried to navigate past each other, both taken by the surprise of the moment, and yet their bodies would collide. Levi was about to lose his balance, pocket watch falling out of his hand as he reached for something to hold on to.

_Shit shit shit shit._

They froze and Levi could hear his heart beat loud and heavy in his chest, eyes still wide from the surprise moment of the whole event. His right hand was pushing against the wall next to him while his left hand was holding on to the Chief Police Officer's shoulder. Erwin Smith had one hand on Levi's hip, with the other one he had tried to catch the falling pocket watch. But since it was attached to a chain from Levi's pocket he just was half way on his knees to take hold of... nothing.

Levi gulped heavily as he gestured Erwin Smith to stand up again, to make the situation less embarrassing for both of them.

“I'm so sorry, Mister Levi.”, Erwin Smith spoke as he reached for the pocket watch that was dangling down from Levi's vest and slowly got up. “I didn't mean to bring you in the same situation as your friend earlier tonight.”, a gentle smile on his face as he had the audacity to put the pocket watch back into the fabric of Levi's vest.

Dark eyes widened as Levi was too shocked to speak up. He just stared at Erwin Smith who moved with such confidence.

_What the fuck does he think he is doing?_

“I hope you're not hurt?”, his voice sounded concerned and somehow amused. Or maybe Levi only interpreted it that way?

“No I'm not hurt, Chief Police Inspector Smith.”, Levi said, voice low and still tense as he felt heat rush through his body. The taller one still had his hand on is hip and resisted the urge to slap his hand away. He just backed away although he didn't want to show weakness or anything like that. Not in front of him.

“But I'm considering to make a complaint with Leman Street should you keep running me and my friends over.”, he added and his eyes reflected his feisty intentions.

“Oh?”, Erwin Smith widened his eyes before a smile crossed his face. “Then I better make up for my rude and very uncivilized behaviour.”, he suggested and came closer again.

Levi didn't back away, not again, he just pierced the Chief Police Inspector with his eyes.

“How would you do that?”, he asked while his body tensed, muscles ready to fight.

_How dare you to intrude people's personal space like that?_

Blue eyes scanned his face, a serious expression slowly got replaced by a curios one and after Erwin Smith was done examining him thoroughly he casually said: “I'd like to invite you for dinner some time.”

Slowly Levi was able to move again and he blinked lazily.

_Arrogant asshole._

“If you want to imply that I'm not capable of paying for my own meals-”

“No, I do not think that you are in need of financial attention, Mister Levi. I think it's good to get to know the people of Whitechapel... and it's such a coincidence that we meet here tonight, don't you think?”, he got interrupted.

_Coincidence... if you only knew..._

Levi took a deep breath. Maybe Smith had a point – and it would give him the chance to dig deeper into this whole affair with Nile Dawk's wife.

“Then it'll by honour to follow your invitation.”, he faked a smile and Erwin Smith nodded.

“Please come by Leman Street station next week so we can find an appointment that suits us both. I take it that you are quite a busy man as well.”

“I am indeed – but you are probably way more busy with a murderer running around. But you may not want to discuss your work with me, basically a stranger, on the hallway to the washing rooms of an overpriced restaurant, right, Mister Smith?”, Levi smirked.

“You're very right, Mister Levi. And therefore I'd very much appreciate if you'd come by our station so we can arrange a meeting to change the status of 'strangers'. And now I'll let you off to your friend again.”, Erwin Smith said, the right corner of his mouth slightly wandering up as he stepped back, making way for Levi.

Had he planned on running into Levi? Was this all intentional? Levi looked at the taller one quite puzzled.

“Have a good evening, Mister Levi.”

“You too... Mister Smith...”, Levi's voice sounded odd as if it wasn't his own.

~~~

The atmosphere between Levi and Smith was different once they both were back at their tables. They both seemed to try to avoid further eye contact but when it happened it lasted longer and every time Levi felt less and less unable to just look away.

_What is it about this man ?_

An hour later Farlan was drunk to a point that it got embarrassing for a restaurant like this. He was laughing loud and was playing with the food on his plate. He also was very emotional about Isabel and admitted that he missed her a lot and that it made him sad that their reunion got delayed from her end.

_She is indeed very late._

Levi started to worry about Isabel, it was past 9 already … but maybe she got the job and was celebrating with her new colleagues already? The thought hurt because it meant that she would neglect Levi and Farlan – but on the other hand it seemed a plausible explanation for her absence.

Just when Levi was thinking about paying, someone entered the restaurant. A young police Constable – a face Levi had seen at the welcome party – in his uniform approached the table of the police trio. Cheeks red from running in the cold probably and from drawing attention in the restaurant, he leaned in and whispered something to Erwin Smith.

Levi could see the confident man freezing in his motion, blue eyes widening as he blinked and then slowly turned his head towards the young Constable. They exchanged more words and then the trio got up, paid and collected their coats.

When they hurried to get out of the restaurant their eyes met once more – but this time something was off. This intrusive feeling and that intimate stare was no longer there. In those deep blue eyes he could see and feel sorrow and compassion, as if he wanted to say: “I'm sorry.”

The door closed and Levi felt his heart stop for a moment as he realized that his explanation of Isabel's delay might indeed just have been wishful thinking and that his biggest fear might have come true...

_Oh God, please no._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I haven't updated this in quite a while and I'm sorry about that. There are various reasons but above all: this story is already finished in my head and I feel like not being able to express it in written words in a way that is satisfying for me. Also I constantly need to evaluate what to put in, what to leave out, what to change so that it makes sense in a fic that will end some day.
> 
> But here we are. I hope you are still here with me on this because I plan on updating more regularly now. Every feedback is appreciated.


	7. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin and Levi (finally) get closer to each other but the circumstances are tragic.

The atmosphere was tense and Erwin's eyes followed steady and yet swift fingers as they went about their work. The orange-yellow flames of the gas lamps gave the room a surreal soft warmth although the white tiles covering the walls were anything but. It had been cold and clean when Erwin had entered it the first time a few weeks ago.

But since then a lot had changed and Mike, Hans and Erwin found themselves piled up in the morgue more and more often. Now the gas lamps would light it up on a daily base and if they weren't careful, it would be anything but clean in there. It was ironic that the murders had begun just shortly before Erwin had arrived here and they had just increased since then – he came here to fight crimes, not to encourage them.

Silver equipment threw surreal sparkles on the walls as Hans was measuring and carefully cutting, moving limbs and turning joints – odd noises interrupting Mike's steady breathing that helped everyone in the room to focus somehow. It was late in the evening, their supposed first real night off since Erwin had started his duty at Leman Street – and yet death was a constant companion since the three had started to work as a team.

Erwin's fingers were feeling up the little pendant inside the pocket of his jacket. It helped him to remain calm, to remind himself that he had a purpose and that he had a reason to be in Whitechapel, that he was worthy and that he would bring justice to this lawless town. He had taken the lavaliere off of the young woman on the table in front of them as they removed her clothes for further examinations. He never would have taken anything from a dead body – but this time it was different...

“This is our youngest victim so far.”, Hans concluded his examination and sighed as he stepped back from the body. “She's probably in her late teens, maybe barely 20.”, he concluded. “Her last meal was about 12 hours ago. Her teeth, nails and bone structure show malnutrition throughout her life. She twisted her ankle badly as a child, causing a deformation that might have pained her from time to time.”

Mike gave a grunting noise and Erwin shook his head in disbelief as he approached the dead body on the table.

“Any signs of rape?”, Erwin wanted to know and Hans shook his head as he reached for his cigarettes.

“No, no traces of recent sexual intercourse – but her body tells the story of a fight.”, Hans spoke out the obvious before he lit his cigarette.

Erwin and Mike both had seen it too. When they had prepared the dead body for Hans' examination and had taken off the partly cut and ripped dark green dress that was soaked with blood, the traces on the slim body had been clearly visible.

The attacker had probably chased her, attacked her from behind first. Two small stab wounds that looked more like cuts marked her back. They didn't hit the lungs but they made breathing painful and would have slowed her down, made it harder for her to move.

She had bruises on her thighs and wrists, deep blue ones on her upper arms and although the cut across her throat was wide and barely any skin was left to examine, she had probably been choked too. The dark traces of large hands were visible on her slender neck – or what was left of it.

The force with which the attacker hat cut open her throat was tremendous and the horrible expression of fear and pain had still been on the girl's face when they had arrived in the small alley near Stapney Green Park where they had found the body.

Erwin raised his right hand but he wouldn't dare to touch the body in front of him. Not this time – because he had seen that girl just a few hours ago and it made the whole situation all the more peculiar for everyone present. They all had seen her.

When Constable Arlert had interrupted their dinner at “The Golden Elephant” and had told him that the body of a women with 'hair like fire' had been found, Erwin – inevitably – had had to think about the girl that had run into him earlier that night in front of the restaurant. She had run into him because all her attention had been focused on her friend, Levi.

And who would Erwin have been to  _not_ have been caught up with his eyes on Levi as well whenever he had the chance?

A man of rather unique physical features, of his own grace and pride, of anger and hate. He was someone with a story for sure. A person that made their way through life, in life, created their own path when and where needed, someone who left a trace and tried to avoid drowning in a society that was cruel.

That was Erwin's impression of Levi since their first encounter at his welcome party a few weeks ago. And he had to admit that Levi stuck with him longer and more intensly than he had intended to. Especially after his …  _reunion_ with Mary...

_Mary. My beautiful Mary._

“So this time he took one of her organs?”, Mike wrinkled his nose in disgust as he asked.

Erwin startled for a moment as Mike's voice ripped him out of his thoughts. His mind had been completely caught up with his own thoughts which happened more and more these days and he hoped that his colleagues wouldn't notice.

“Yes, this is the first time he took something out of the body. It's the liver.”, Hans agreed and pulled on his cigarette.

“He's taken her liver.... why is he changing his behaviour?”, Erwin asked.

“That I can not tell, Erwin.”, Hans breathed out and narrowed his eyes as he examined the wound on the body's abdomen again. “But I can tell, that our killer knows how to use a knife and he definitely knew were to cut and how to get the liver out.”

“So are we looking for a doctor?”

“Not necessarily – a butcher, a hunter, a taxidermist and probably some other … shady … folks – they all would know how to use a knife too. And thanks to my colleagues that make an effort to spread knowledge, pretty much anyone that can read …. or well, not even read, they would just have to look at the pictures in the books - would be able to figure out where the liver is.”, Hans explained.

“So we still have no lead.”, Mike spoke more to himself as he turned away from the body and Erwin could see his wide shoulders shaking. It had surprised him in the beginning that a tall and strong man like Mike would be so sensitive to his job. Mike was a good, upright man – not a man of many words but he was loyal and determined with sharp senses. The women in the office called him 'gentle giant' behind his back and Erwin heard their whispers – inevitably he asked himself what they would call him.

“No, we are still without a trace.”, Erwin said as he ran his left hand across his face as he stepped away from the body. “Mike, we'll go and talk to the people that found her tomorrow. And we need to find the man we saw with her at the restaurant – Hans, I'd ask you to double check the other bodies again, see of there is anything that we might have overlooked. Maybe there is more that connects these poor souls than their slashed throats.”

Hans breathed out amused and a quick smile crossed his face, earning him sharp looks from the two blond men. “What is so entertaining about that?”, Erwin asked, voice sharp as he eyed Hans.

“Haven't you been looking for a name for our murderer, Erwin?”, Hans asked as he approached Erwin. He lifted his right hand and patted the Chief Police Inspector on the shoulder. “I think you just came up with one – might help to raise people's awareness if we let the Commander get in contact with the newspapers.”

“Throat slasher...”, Erwin whispered.

~~~

Fresh and bitter, the gin ran down his throat as he leaned back in the chair in his office. He closed his eyes for a moment, focusing on the pain in his head and the burning liquid running down his gullet.

_How can something so subtle, something so easy to produce and to purchase, make men so … dependent from it?_

He opened his eyes again and glanced at the clock on the wall – it was past midnight and it would be another busy weekend. His body felt exhausted and numb – and he should probably go easy on the alcohol for the night.

His index finger circled the rim of the crystal glass while he held it between his thumb and his ring finger, gently swirling the clear liquid as he tried to sort his thoughts.

He'd search for Levi tomorrow, deliver the bad news and start to investigate his friend’s wherabouts before they had found her dead body. Then he would-

A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts and he closed his eyes for a moment with a sigh.

_Will this night ever end?_

He cleared his throat and put down the glass on the table.

“Come in!”, he said loud and clear while he re-positioned himself in his chair, his right hand running through his hair real quickly.

It was Constable Jaeger that opened the door, blood running down his chin and covering his jacket.

_What on earth?_

Erwin furrowed his brows and gave the young man a questioning look.

“Chief Police Inspector Smith... I'm sorry to disturb you and for my condition.”, he spoke with wide eyes, a front tooth was missing, blood gushing from his mouth and he seemed puzzled, disoriented.

Muffled voices and some “Calm down!”-screams could be heard from the front desk of the police station now that the door was open. It sounded like a commotion was going on in Leman Street and Erwin's body tensed. It was in the middle of the night, would some thugs really start a raid right now? Jaeger's state would explain a possible attack.

“Constable Jaeger – tell me what is going on.”, Erwin demanded to know. “Now!”, he added a bit louder and got up from his chair – hands searching for a hold on his desk as the gin made his head spin.

“There's someone who... demands to see you, Sir.”, the young man said.

 _Someone_ demanding _to see me?_

“Who is it?”, Erwin wanted to know.

“He says his name is Mister Levi, Sir. He says he knows you and he needs to speak to you … but … honestly, Sir? Neither of us thinks you would be an acquaintance to someone like  _that_ and that's why we wouldn't let him through and … he attacked me.”, Constable Jaeger explained.

Blue eyes widened as he heard the name and saw the disgusted look in Jaeger's face.

“What do you mean with 'someone like _that_ '?”, Erwin asked and came around his desk, eyes already searching the office behind the young Constable for the rather short man he had seen just a few hours ago in “The Golden Elephant”.

“Excuse me speaking so bluntly, Chief Police Inspector Smith, Sir, but he looks heavily intoxicated. He immediately... started to use physical force against us.”

Erwin had heard enough. With some swift steps he passed the Constable, muttering: “Go see a nurse, Jaeger, you look horrible.”, and then headed towards the centre of the turmoil in the rather small police station.

He lay eyes upon Levi – indeed – but he seemed to be a shadow of himself from just a few hours ago.

His face was paler than usual and his eyes wide with deep shadows below. Some Constables had cornered him, yet nobody was brave enough to approach him – probably after what had happened with Jaeger.

Levi looked like a wild animal – like he had been on a hunt. Soaking wet from rain and sweat and when their eyes met, Erwin could almost feel his pain.

_I'm sorry._

“Mister Levi.... if you'd follow me to my office, please?”, Erwin asked with calm voice as he approached him.

_He's definitely under the influence of some sort of drug._

“Constables, thank you for your attendance. I'm indeed known with this gentleman so you can go back to your duties.”, Erwin ordered the people present.

Levi pressed his jaws together, body all tense as the Constables made way for him. His legs carried him somehow but he was trembling.

Once Erwin closed the door behind them, Levi spoke, voice cracking as he seemed to try to hold back a sob. “Is it her?”, he wanted to know as he stood in the square room with a big window.

Erwin took a deep breath. He would be honest – of course.

“Please, have a seat, Mister Levi.”, he said and pointed towards the leather armchair next to his desk.

“I don't want to sit, Mister Smith. I want to have an answer... is it her?”, Levi's voice grew louder, more desperate.

Erwin gulped heavily as his hand reached for the jewellery in his pocket. He wanted to look for Levi anyway, talk to him, get his help... but tomorrow. In the light of a new day and not now. Not under these circumstances.

Levi was not in the state to receive bad news. His eyes seemed off and his coordination was not as sharp as usual ... and Erwin didn't believe that he would have attacked a member of the police under normal circumstances.

“I will give you an answer but I want you to sit, Mister Levi. Can you do that for me, please.”, Erwin's voice was friendly but demanding and he seemed to hit a spot.

Levi pressed his lips together, eyes searching for the armchair before he slowly approached it and let himself down. His movements were stiff, stuttering and yet he seemed powerless as he let himself sink into the brown leather chair.

“Thank you.”, Erwin praised him as he reached for a carafe with water and poured a glass which he then handed over to Levi, but he wouldn't take it.

“Can you just tell me if it is her... please...”, Levi muttered while his knees were wobbling, his chin down on his chest.

Erwin sighed as he put down the glass again and leaned against the front of his desk. His fingers traced the jewellery in his pocket once more and just when he was about to pull the necklace out, he froze.

It all happened so quickly but he was able to catch Levi before he could hit the ground.

~~~

“Thank you, Hans.”, Erwin sighed and the doctor rolled his neck with a cracking sound.

“Don't worry, Erwin – we've all been there, haven't we?”, Hans said with an understanding smile before he headed for the door. “Should you need anything or any help, let me know.”, he offered.

“I will make sure to, but you've already done more than enough. Thank you, really. Have a good night's rest so we can set to work tomorrow.”

Indeed he had helped Erwin to carry Levi up the stairs to his room and he had given Levi an injection that would help him to recover faster. Back at the police station he had – together with Mike – distracted the other members of the police so that Erwin was able to carry Levi's unconscious body out through the back, find a carriage and bring him here.

The expression on Levi's face had changed – he seemed to be more relaxed now, probably thanks to Hans' treatment. His chest rose and fell with deep, steady breaths and the sweat had dried to his skin. His body lay heavy on the pillows and blankets on Erwin's bed.

_I wonder what he took. His condition can not only be caused by alcohol._

Erwin found the answer after he had taken off the wet coat from Levi's limp body. A disassembled pipe and a small tin with a distinct black substance in it. The bitter yet sweet scent immediately gave away its high quality.

_Opium – drug of the poor and the rich._

Erwin had been in an opium den just the other day – he was in east London now after all. He wanted to give the drug a try, for his personal pleasure and out of curiosity – and he could definitely see the attraction this drug had to people. Especially in hard times like these.

He hung up the wet coat, leaving the instrument where he had found it and then turned back to Levi. Blue eyes scanned the vulnerable body in front of him. Levi surely had overdone the opium, maybe had too much to drink before adding the drug to his system so that his body could do nothing else but collapse at some point, the mental stress not exactly helping to improve the situation.

_And he still doesn't know for sure about his friend's fate yet..._

Erwin sat down on the edge of the bed next to Levi's still body. The mattress gently dipped down and a weak babble left Levi’s lips as he turned slightly to face Erwin in his sleep.

_He looks so peaceful._

Erwin listened to the steady breathing – interrupted only by Hans' rumbling in the apartment – as he closely examined Levi's face. The fine eyebrows seemed to have lost their fierce and disgusted expression. The eyelids rested and the lines of long, black lashes were gently twitching from time to time.

The rather full lower lip was dry, the sensitive skin cracked open – probably from dehydration, and yet Erwin couldn't help but stare and imagine what it would feel like to kiss these lips, to taste this man.

_Pull yourself together! Just because you may or may not have had some playful banter with him and maybe were a bit more charming than needed..._

And yet, Erwin couldn't deny that this man had been on his mind often and that he was drawn to him in more than one way. Not only because he was beautiful in his own way but also because of the way Levi would express and present himself. Erwin wanted to get to know more about him...

But for now he would want to take care of him. They both were loners – both in their unique way – and Erwin could relate somehow. He had experienced the pain of losing someone at the hands of another. He had experienced the urge to numb the pain and to disappear.

_And how could you not want to leave this cruel world?_

Levi's breathing sounded uneasy and Erwin furrowed his brows for a moment. When Levi had turned to the side, the fabric around his neck had tightened to a point that looked uncomfortable and it seemed as if it was restricting his breathing.

Erwin's right hand reached for the cravat around Levi's neck and he gently lifted his chin to have better access to the fabric. But somehow, he couldn’t pull back his hand …

The skin felt hot and Erwin ran his thumb along the sharp jaw line, gently applying pressure. Only when the fine eyebrows twitched, Erwin focused on the cravat again. He loosened the knot with his hands, carefully lowered the fabric just to stare bluntly for a moment.

A scar was revealed. A fine, thin line; almost white and barely visible on the fair skin in the dim light of the gas lamp on the desk. It was an old scar. Erwin could tell right away and it ran along the left side of Levi's neck towards his throat. Fascinated, Erwin followed it, the tip of his index finger gently running over Levi's skin again, feeling the pulsating vein below.

_What does it feel like for the throat slasher to cut them open? To let them bleed and see them struggle – choking on their own blood while they are still fighting to stay alive? What does it feel to see the life fade from their eyes?_

“What do you think you are doing?”, Levi asked. Voice cracked, deep and husky.

Erwin blinked, irritated, and a split second later he had a rather small but strong hand around his throat, fingers pushing just the right spots to make him gasp for air. The moment of surprise was definitely on Levi's side since Erwin had been too caught up in his thoughts – again. Levi pushed himself up with his right arm shaking, his eyes covered by his hair.

Slowly Erwin pulled back his hand from Levi's throat while he tried to catch Levi's glare. His neck was tense but he could already feel the strength fading from Levi again and just when their eyes met for a moment Levi's body betrayed him and he fell back into the pillows, letting go of Erwin's throat too.

Erwin took some quick, shallow breaths and ran a hand across his own throat before he gulped heavily.

“I wanted to help you, Levi. You collapsed in my office. I brought you here and I wanted to help you.”, he tried to speak as calmly as possible but couldn't avoid that his heart started to beat faster.

_Was that really all that I was going to do?_

“If you really want to help me... then answer my question, Smith.”, Levi's voice was husky, his body trembling again and the steady breathing from a few moments ago was gone.

Erwin could see fear in Levi's eyes, the fear of hearing the truth – a truth that Levi already had created in his mind and that was feasting on him, consuming him. It was taking control of him and driving him into the arms of substances that would help him to forget. Because he was afraid – of the truth and this world.

Never before had Erwin seen that reflected in the eyes of the man in front of him. He had been such a great actor whenever they had met but now Levi couldn't hide his all too real and human fears.

It was as if Erwin looked into his own eyes, just as he did every morning. Fighting with the demons he created himself and those that this cruel world was sending after him. Fighting to stay alive, to carry on.

_Wouldn't I want to know the truth, no matter how hard it was?_

Yes, he definitely wanted truth and justice. He wanted to understand this world in general and his life in particular – and Levi probably was the same.

Erwin's jaws clenched as he reached for the necklace in his pocket and then pulled it out in one go – no further delaying the situation. He presented Levi the beautiful magnolia shaped pendant that was hanging from the silver necklace.

Levi didn't show any reaction at first. Tired eyes blinking lazily once before a sad and bitter smile crossed his face.

Erwin didn't feel the urge to form words when this little proof was just enough to agree with Levi's theory, the truth he had formed in his head already.

“I was hoping you would be able to answer some questions tomorrow to help us with the investigation.”, Erwin said as he carefully reached for Levi's hand, opened the shaking fingers and placed the jewellery in Levi's palm. “I'm sorry, Levi. I really am.”, he said as he closed his hand around Levi's.

Levi just stared at their hands and neither of them pulled back as if they silently appreciated the tenderness of the other. Anyway, Erwin had brought Levi here, had placed him on his bed, had taken off his coat and -

“Don't be sorry, Smith. Just do your bloody job and bring justice to this fucked up town.”, Levi's voice was low, shaking yet it cut sharp through the room and when he looked up and their eyes met, Erwin could almost grasp the moment Levi gave in.

It must have been the opium, the alcohol, the stress of the situation, the late hour – whatever it was, but it made Levi cling on to Erwin's shoulders, pulling him towards him.

There were no tears and there was no sobbing, just the silence and closeness between the two men while Erwin ran his hand through Levi's hair, gently scratching over the scalp as he held him close with his other arm, feeling his heart beat. Levi had buried his face in Erwin's shirt and against his vest, inhaling deeply while his hands were holding on to Erwin's jacket as if his life depended on it.

They sat like this without any sense of time, just being present in the very moment and being well-aware of the other. Unspoken words were made up with gentle gestures, fingers tenderly moving, touching, not even exploring. Some relaxed sighs slipped their throats – signs of mutual appreciation, of a silent 'Thank you'.

_This feels way too natural, too intimate, too good..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... so... I did it. And I'm sorry. 
> 
> But I hope I made up for it with the slow burn, burning a bit more, maybe? 
> 
> This chapter was beta-read by the lovely [lervin-smiss](https://lervin-smiss.tumblr.com/) <3 Thank you so much!
> 
> Also, I now have a cover for this fic from the absolutely brilliant, talented and way too humble varrix, so go check it out [here](http://shippingeruri.tumblr.com/post/170045550265/cover-commission-fic-update-dirt-velvet).


	8. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin investigates Isabel's last known whereabouts and Leman Street faces the press.
> 
> ... and Levi has his own way of dealing with the latest events.

When Levi woke up he couldn't remember where he was. He just knew right away that this was not his bed. The scent of someone else was too present, the pillow a bit too hard as well as the mattress.

His throat felt dry, his body heavy and he felt like throwing up. Hastily he sat on the edge of the bed and pressed his right hand against his lips, trying to swallow down the bile that was rising.

His eyes scanned the small table by the bed and with a swift movement he grabbed the carafe, gulping down the liquid inside – water, presumably.

Slowly his memory came back – he had been at Leman Street, had wanted to speak to Smith... probably not the wisest decision, considering his condition, and then... there was something missing.

_Fuck. Where the fuck am I?_

Levi took some deep breaths before he lifted himself from the bed, his eyes quickly scanning he room before he tumbled over to a small desk in front of a window. It was still dark outside, only the shimmer of some gas lights on the streets provided some faint light in the falling snow.

And then, all of a sudden, he remembered. Sort of.

He had woken up here earlier that night already. Smith had been with him... and that probably meant that this was Smith's bedroom. Levi's eyes wandered back to the bed. Smith had touched him on his neck, had been close to him, had seen his vulnerable side – and yet Levi felt no shame. His right hand covered his neck, his fingers traced his skin where Smith had touched him.

Even when he remembered that he was clinging on to the Chief Police Inspector and that he had received a form of intimate gentleness that was unknown to him. It just had happened and the memory felt good... although Levi would have preferred to not remember why they had been so close, why he had been and probably still to a certain degree was in that condition.

His breath stuttered as the realisation of Isabel's death crushed above him. His eyes widened as he held on to the back of chair in front of him. Everything began to spin around him and his knees gave in.

_No... no, please no._

Levi lost his balance, fell over and with a rumbling took the chair with him. But he didn't even hear it because his heart was beating so loud in his chest that he thought it would burst any moment.  
His fingernails dug into the wooden floor while he tried to focus, tried to stop his body from trembling with pain and tried to hold back the tears.

~~~

Erwin's light sleep on the sofa was interrupted by the sound of something – or someone – falling to the ground. The alcohol still was playing heavy on his mind so it took him a second or two to realise what exactly was going on.

But once he recalled the most recent events he was up on his feet, stumbling over books and shoes, empty bottles and clothes and eventually made his way up the narrow stairs in the dark flat.

He didn't bother to knock and just rushed into his own bedroom.

_I hope he's...._

Levi's head snapped to the side while Erwin stood in the door and didn't know what to do for a moment. Levi looked so vulnerable, different than a few hours ago and he was afraid to worsen the situation. His body was shaking while he was sitting on the floor, hands pushing against the wodden floor. 

Dark eyes looked at him, silently begging for help.

_They are fascinating, regardless..._

Erwin slowly got closer, realising that his clothes were everything but in place, his hair was off and he probably didn't smell too pleasant. But on the other hand he was almost sure that Levi didn't mind any of that at the moment.

“Are you hurt?”, Erwin asked with a husky voice as he bent down and his hands reached for Levi's arms and shoulders.

Levi just shook his head, avoiding Erwin's eyes as the black hair fell into his face. His body was tense, muscles trembling as Erwin slowly brought him in an upright position and then helped him to sit down on the edge of the bed.

“Do you need something to drink? Are you hungry?”

Again, Levi only shook his head, still avoiding the Chief Police Inspector's eyes.

Erwin took a deep breath as he ran a hand through his hair and straightened his shoulders. He felt awful.

“Her name is...”, Levi held his breath for a moment before an ugly grimace crossed his face “... _was_ Isabel – Isabel Magnolia. She had an audition for a musical theatre in Limehouse.”, Levi suddenly said with a calm voice. His fingers were fumbling on the buttons of his vest, went up to his cravat and tightened to knot again that Erwin had loosened a few hours ago.

“Do you – by any chance – know wh-”

“No, I don't know more than that, Chief Police Inspector Smith. I don't know which musical theatre or where exactly”, Levi cut him off.

Erwin pressed his jaws together and nodded. “Thank you.”

“It was her birthday...”, Levi whispered and his eyes searched for Erwin's again.

There was so much pain in the dark shards that Erwin found himself at a loss of words for a moment. His lips parted yet he only took a deep breath before approaching Levi.

“I will do everything in my power to find the person who did this – and they will receive their punishment.”, Erwin said. His voice was still husky. He cleared his throat and with more gentleness added: “I know this won't bring her back, but I hope it will give you peace of mind at a later point in your life”

_I would give everything I have to know who murdered my father._

“Peace of mind?”, Levi echoed and breathed out amused. “I don't think so, Chief Police Inspector. I would have peace of mind if they would die the same way that Isabel had to die, by my hand preferably.”

Erwin understood all too well why Levi would say that because he had been the same.

“I'm afraid that won't be possible without further consequences. But then let me at least do what is my job anyway and bring justice to the people.”, Erwin breathed out.

“You do... what you got to do and you better do it right. I might start my own investigation.”, Levi snorted as he reached for the jewellery on the night stand and put it in his pocket. “Thank you for your hospitality, Mister Smith. I'll be leaving now.”

Erwin furrowed his brows. “You can rest here until you feel better.”, he suggested.

“I don't think I will feel any better anytime soon... so if you'd excuse me?”, Levi's voice got louder as he got himself up and headed for his coat next to Erwin, legs still a bit shaky.

“Then... promise me to come by Leman Street within the next days so I know you are doing better.”, Erwin demanded.

“I will. We still need to make an appointment for dinner anyway.”, Levi breathed out and a forced smile crossed his face as he put on the coat.

~~~

After they had figured out that there weren't many musical theatres in Limehouse and exactly one was having auditions at the moment, they had come here without further ado. When he and Mike had arrived here – around lunch time – it had taken Mister Kirstein quite a while to let them in.

But now they were sitting in a stuffy office with way too many things in it. Everything was colourful and the sweet scent in the air gave Erwin a headache right away.

“Mister Kirstein, can you please tell us about your encounter with Miss Magnolia?”, Erwin asked the man in his early twenties that was dressed with a flamboyant dressing gown.

“Of course I can – how could I not. Such a beautiful young lady, such a voice, so much talent...”, Mister Kirstein sighed as he poured himself another glass of wine.

_And I thought I have a drinking problem? He just woke up and it's hardly lunch time..._

“She arrived here at... Marco, what time was it?”, Jean looked over to the freckled man that was trying to somehow clean up the rather messy office while wearing an equally flamboyant dressing gown. He had gotten introduced as “my partner, Marco” by Mister Kirstein – whether he was talking about a business partner or another kind of partner was unclear.

“If I remember correctly she arrived here around seven.”, Marco replied with a rather thin voice, avoiding Erwin's and Mike's eyes as they both looked at him.

“Yes, I agree. It must have been around seven because before that... _we_ were definitely busy.”, Mister Kirstein chuckled and Marco left the room with red cheeks and ears.

“Right.", Erwin furrowed his brows and Mike cleared his throat. "So Miss Magnolia arrived here at seven. How long did she stay? Did she tell you where she was going to? Do you know if she took a coach? ”, Erwin asked.

“Well... we showed her around, she was dancing and singing for us – oh what talent! - and then we had a glass of champagne and prepared the contract. She was gone by nine probably? I'd say rather earlier than that but definitely closer to nine than to eight. And unfortunately I don't know if she took a coach and where she wanted to go... Marco and I had... other plans.”, he smirked again, just as the rather pale man returned to the room. “I just hope she will show up here on Friday for our first staff meeting.”, he smiled.

Erwin cleared his throat as he put down the pen and the notebook which he had used to make notes. “I'm afraid that she won't show up, Mister Kirstein. We came here to question you about Miss Magnolia because she was found dead last night.”

Jean's eyes widened and he slowly put down the wine glass.

_Definitely not practised – a natural reaction._

“Pardon me, Chief Police Inspector... but do you think that we have something to do with that?”, the other young man, Marco, raised his voice now as he approached his partner.

_Equally shocked, not practised._

“We need to take everything into consideration. I think you understand that.”, Erwin said calmly.

“Yes, of course.”, Mister Kirstein replied.

“If you'd allow my colleague, Police Inspector Zacharias, to have a look around your theatre? I'd have some more questions, gentlemen.” Erwin picked up his pen and notebook again.

“Yes... please go ahead.”, Mister Kirstein said with a puzzled look on his face as he reached for the wine glass again and Marco pointed towards the door that was leading to the theatre. Yet Mike took his time, slowly got up from the chair that was way too small for his massive body and then he towered over the people sitting.

“It will be all right, Jean. We will be all right.”, Marco whispered softly into his partner's ear and put a hand on his shoulder that immediately got grabbed and squeezed by the hand of the sitting Mister Kirstein.

_Maybe more than business partners?_

“So. Mister Kirstein, if you could please state your full name, your date and place of birth – and the same for your... partner... Mister?”, Erwin continued his interrogation while Mike headed towards the door.

“Bott, Marco Bott.”

He examined the two men as they wrote down the requested information.

_They seem confident. Practised handwriting. Lacking a bit of concentration – no wonder with the news about Miss Magnolia._

After Erwin got his notebook back and read the information he lifted his eyebrows.

“Born in Paris? Both of you?”, he couldn't hide his curiosity for a moment.

“Yes, we were childhood friends, grew up as neighbours, spent our summers together, travelled together, went to art school together and… came to England together.”, Mister Kirstein explained.

_Artists?_

“You are quite young for someone that has his own theatre... can you please let me know how you obtained this theatre?”, Erwin asked.

“Our families are quite well off and supported our wish to go to London and bring musicals to the English people. In France we have quite a lot of musicals to chose from and Marco and myself always have been drawn to the beautiful things...”, Mister Kirstein's voice softened and he smiled at his partner with a gentle gaze.

“When did you come to London?”, Erwin continued while taking notes.

“We came here last September.”, Mister Kirstein said and Mister Bott added:  
“September 18th – I will never forget that day. The beginning of our life here.”, Marco smiled and now was pulling a chair closer and set down next to Mister Kirstein, putting his hand right on his left knee.

_Definitely more than business partners._

“Are there any other women that were auditioning for your upcoming play?”, Erwin continued.

“Yes, there were plenty of them. But most were... boring?”, Mister Kirstein replied and Marco nodded.

“They lack finesse. Everything seems so... calculated. And Isabel was just natural and perfect for this role.”, Marco added with a sigh.

“Could you please give me a list of all the other women that were auditioning for this role? Actually; please give me a list of everyone that was auditioning for this upcoming play. You can also send it to Leman Street if that is more convenient for you.”

“Yes, certainly, we will send you a list by tomorrow!”, Mister Kirstein agreed.

“Thank you, I appreciate your efforts!”, Erwin smiled. “Have you seen any... suspicious people around here in the last days or weeks?”

Marco smirked and Mister Kirstein inhaled deeply. “Pardon me to speak so bluntly, Chief Police Inspector Smith, but... we are in London, east London to be precise... could you be a bit more specific what you mean with _suspicious_?”

_They have a point... I'm still stuck at the south coast in my mind sometimes..._

~~~

“So you're telling me that we still have _nothing_? Nothing but more dead bodies in our streets?”, Commander Pixis asked as his fingers ran along his moustache and his eyes pierced Erwin's.

“Yes, Commander.”, Erwin agreed as calm as possible while Hans next to him run a strand of hair trough his fingers as he tried to disappear in his chair and Mike would sit upright but his eyes were fixed on the desk.

“We have no lead so far.”, Erwin breathed out as he withstood the critical examination.

“How does it come that my rather unique but undoubtedly talented doctor, my silent tracking dog and my newest addition – who was able to solve almost unsolvable cases in the past – work together and yet... all you bring forth is more dead girls?”, Commander Pixis didn't rise his voice but that made the situation all the more intimidating.

Erwin felt shame rising – it was true. Since he had come here all that was growing was the number of dead bodies in the morgue while he had contributed nothing to find the person who was responsible for them.

_What am I even doing here?_

Erwin's throat felt dry and he gulped heavily as Commander Pixis rose his eyebrow and gave him a questioning look.

It was Hans that raised his voice, somehow offended yet calm. “It's not our fault that there is this maniac running around and killing girls. All we can do is follow every lead, every trace of a lead – ask Mike what sort of places he is watching, it's disgusting – and examine the girls as well as the places they are being found. So far we have _nothing_ because the murderer works incredibly precise.”, the words came out rather fast and Erwin could hear that Hans was trying his best to keep calm.

Yet it surprised him to see the doctor so worked up, shaking even and then Erwin widened his eyes as Hans got up and slammed his fist on the Commander's desk, obviously no longer able to hold back his rage about the situation as a whole.  
“You know me, Dot, you know me very well, probably better than anyone here. And you know that I'm giving my all and everything – the same goes for Mike – and I vow for Erwin. We are dedicated to the course, we _want_ to have something and find the person who is behind this. So … please spare us the passive aggressive blaming – that might work with those bootlickers over at Westminster but not with us, Dot. We are men of Whitechapel and we _will_ stop this throat slasher.”, Hans' voice was ringing loud in the Commander's office and Mike and Erwin both equally stared in disbelief.

_What is he thinking?_

Erwin's focus shifted from Hans to Commander Pixis and when he saw his reaction, his eyes widened even further.

_What is going on?_

The Commander was smiling, happily nodding as he reached for the bottle on the drawer behind him.

“Good. Very good. That's what I wanted to hear.”, he spoke as he poured four glasses. “I just wanted to make sure that you are not burying your heads in the sand and give up.”, he put the glasses on the table.

Hans sighed as he reached for the glass and Mike smirked under his moustache, reaching for a glass too.

_Are these people all out of their mind?_

“Erwin, I know you're new to London and to our little police station – but I hope you'll get used to the way we do things here. I think you are doing a great job so far. To Leman Street! Cheers!”, Commander Pixis rose his glass and while the three of them rang their glasses together Erwin reached for the last glass.

He grinned in disbelief and then took a deep breath. “Cheers!”, he agreed.

After they had emptied their glasses Commander Pixis informed them that Mister Springer of 'The Daily Telegraph' would come by in a few minutes and wanted to get updates on their murderer.

“Erwin, I'd like you to update him.”

Erwin remembered all too well how unpleasant the man had been on his welcome party and he wasn't exactly looking forward to see him again.

But fifteen minutes later they were still sitting in the Commander's office and Connie Springer was joining them. A bright smile on his face, a notebook and a pen in his hand.

“Good day, gentlemen! It's a pleasure to see you all in good health – something those dead girls would have deserved too.”, he smirked and let himself down on the sofa in the corner of the room.

_I want to punch him in the face..._

“Mister Springer, I understand that you … represent the public interest in these cases but please show some respect for those poor souls.”, Commander Pixis reproached him and then leaned back in his chair.

“Of course, Commander Pixis, pardon me.”, he cleared his throat. “Well then? What do you have? A name? A face? A suspect? Anything at all that I can tell the people?”, his eyes scanned the people present.

“Chief Police Inspector Smith will update you since he is leading our investigations .”, Commander Pixis informed him and Erwin cleared his throat before he contested the feisty glare.

“We have a name. A name we'd like you and your colleagues to spread. It will help to unify the people of London.”, Erwin began and Mister Springer looked at him in anticipation.

“We're looking for the _throat slasher_.”, Erwin spoke out the name they had given their faceless killer with disgust.

They exchanged further details, Mister Springer asked some specific questions, Hans would add some bits here and there. Commander Pixis as well as Mike silently observed. A few minutes later Mister Springer seemed to be satisfied with the information he was able to get from his visit.

“I promise you; tomorrow every soul in London will only speak of the throat slasher.”, Mister Springer clicked his tongue and then seemed to remember something as he furrowed his brow.

“Actually... I had another headline for tomorrow... but I might postpone that one and just share this very interesting information with you, gentlemen.”, he smirked omnisciently and leaned back again.

_What a player..._

“Well then? Enlighten us, Mister Springer.”, Commander Pixis spoke with a questioning look on his face.

“The bloody Irish are up to something – we have an inside man and I can promise you that your throat slasher and his dead girls will be nothing compared to the chaos those crazy bastards are planning on bringing over this city.”

~~~

Relax. Breathe. Concentrate.

Heating the blade.

Coming close. Burn.

Open flesh and tissue.

Thoughts became hazy. Vision blurry.

The opium made it hard to focus but he wanted to feel again. Feel something after feeling numb for a whole day. Caught up in his own thoughts, his own dark nightmares.

With force he pushed the hot blade further into his body and finally he could feel something.

A stinging pain.

He inhaled sharply as the pain ran along his nerves, hit his spine and then his brain released endorphins that mixed with the opium in his system.

He blinked lazily as he let the blade fall to the ground and it landed with a metallic sound.

Then he watched his own blood mix with the hot water in the metal bathtub as he slowly leaned back, letting his body get washed round with the water.

_Drowning. I feel like drowning._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story takes up pace and I introduced one of my side-pairings :) I hope you like it and I'm sorry about Levi : (
> 
> Any feedback is welcome, no matter how short or long <3 It really means a lot to me!
> 
> If you have critique or want to chat with me, please feel free to message me on Tumblr: <http://shippingeruri.tumblr.com/>


	9. Skills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another murder.  
> Erwin gets to know more about one of his Constables and reveals a dark secret at Leman Street while Mike can prove more than one of his many talents.

_Five victims in less than one month. Five people lost their lives since I came here._

Five young women killed be the hand of probably the same person. Their throats cut open with a precise cut. Minor injuries all over their bodies, inflicted by a blade and with bare hands. And all girls were missing a single strand of hair as if the killer was taking a memento with him.

And until the latest victim, Isabel Magnolia, there had been a connection between the first four victims. All women had been working as prostitutes. Selling their bodies on the streets of Whitechapel.

But Isabel was the odd one out. She was by far the youngest, she was not working as a prostitute. And above all the killer had taken her liver which was something he never had done before.

_Why?_

Was it maybe a silly coincidence that the murderer had run into her? That she had crossed his path while he was on the hunt for another victim, another prostitute?

That's at least what Springer and his colleagues were proclaiming in the newspapers yesterday, just as agreed upon with Leman Street. They tried to keep the people calm, to _not_ spread panic among the majority of the population.

All other women had worn clothes of way lower quality and had been found in areas where street whores were usually about their business. But Isabel had worn a beautiful, well-tailored dress and her dead body had been found way further to the east than all the other ones.

Erwin was going through the list that he had received from Mister Kirstein and Mister Bott once more but none of the names had brought up anything in the archives of Leman Street. Police Inspector Berner had been of great help and his knowledge with the archives had been incredibly helpful.

“I'll make sure to contact Scotland Yard and see if they can find anything in their archives.”, he had promised Erwin and then was about to use the telegraph.

_Fascinating technology._

Police Inspector Moblit Berner had been a member of Leman Street since many years and after he got shot in the leg last year which had forever destroyed some nerves in his calf, Commander Pixis had revoked him from active police duty and instead had offered him to work as backup in the police station. Now he was in charge of the archives and since he had a knack for technology he also was in charge of the technical equipment in the police station.

Erwin got along with him right away after Hans had introduced them.

 _A good man, an honest man. His heart is in the right place_.

And so far he had been of great help for Erwin whenever he needed him. His knowledge about Whitechapel definitely made up for Erwin's lack of the same and he always knew what was to be found where in their archives.

Erwin leaned back with a sigh, rolled his neck and reached for the tea cup on his desk. The surface of the hot liquid was steaming and he inhaled the herbal scent as his eyes scanned the snowfall in front of the window of his office. The gas light of the street light gave the snow a reddish shimmer.

_I wonder how many people will find death these days because of the cold..._

A knock on his door let his attention shift and with a clear “Come in”, he summoned Constable Jaeger into his office.

“Chief Police Inspector Smith we have... another victim.”, the young man spoke as calmly as possible but his eyes reflected the excitement. “Police Inspector Zacharias found her and sent Constable Arlert here to gather you – he's about to warm up at the front desk so I'm here to inform you.”

Erwin let out a long sigh and put down the tea cup, the liquid untouched.

_It's been only three days since Isabel has been found... and besides our first victim, all other women got murdered during the weekend. Why now?_

“Is it far? You'll accompany me, Constable Jaeger”, Erwin said as he put the files that had been spread all over his desk away in the cabinet behind him and locked it.

“It's not far, Sir, it's over in an alley in Goulston Street.”, Erwin got informed.

~~~

The police had already cleared the area, held back the curious crowds that wanted to sneak a peek. The faint hope that the thin layer of snow might bring up foot prints of a potential murderer was destroyed the moment Erwin arrived at the scene with a gas lamp in his hand.

There were too many different footprints.

_And it was Mike that had found her when so many people had come by already? The people seem to care about themselves and only about themselves these days..._

Erwin looked back over his shoulder – the crowd that got held back by the Constables looked like a wild horde, lusting for sensation, for blood and murder.

The people disgusted him – as much as he pitied them.

_Such simple minds._

“How did you find her?”; Erwin asked as he approached Mike who was kneeling in the snow, closely examining the dead body.

“I smelled blood.”, was the straight forward reply.

“And I guess you already reconstructed the whole scene with your extraordinary senses?”

“I indeed have my own version of the events – but I already have had a look around, so I guess you would come to the same conclusion after you had the chance to get familiar with the scene.”, Mike nodded as he got up from the ground and turned around to face Erwin while he brushed off the snow from his knees.

“I doubt that I would come to the same conclusion, Mike – you know you have a talent...”, Erwin sighed.

Mike cleared his throat, took a deep breath and then began to retell the events.

“She was walking along Middlesex Street from north to south on the eastern side of the street. The killer approached her, came across the street, she backed away, ran into one of the signs in front of the pub there. He followed her so she tried to hide by taking a turn into Goulston Street but the killer would still followed her. She ran further into the street, trying to hide but slipped in the snow. There weren't any people around when the murder took place. The killer chased her, she finally stumbled in the snow, fell to the ground. He pulled her up, dragged her into this alley. He silenced her with his hand while he inflicted wounds, let her suffer and then finally killed her.”, Mike told the story calmly, as if he was citing facts.

“Hans will be able to tell us what happened when and I would bet my moustache that there's something missing from her body again.”, he added and then pulled the dark coat closer around his shoulders.

“I'm impressed... and I really value your way of working, Mike.”, Erwin said as he blinked amazed once more by his colleague's skills.

~~~

Hans' autopsy revealed that besides the mandatory cut on the throat, bruises, more minor cuts and the missing strand of hair, this time the spleen had been taken out.

“This makes no sense...”, Erwin sighed as he covered the naked body with the shroud and Hans reached for his cigarettes.

“Either it's someone else doing these murders now, imitating the original killer or our throat slasher has started to get really interested in organs.”, Hans commented before he lit the cigarette.

“But why?”, Erwin breathed out. “Of course this person is probably a maniac, someone with severe mental issues – but why would you do that?”

“I don't know either – I mean, I'm a doctor and I get basically paid to cut people open and examine them. I honestly don't think the murderer is a colleague of mine – but I could be wrong of course.”

Mike furrowed his brows as he said: “But this time we do have something.” and then nodded towards the tray next to the covered body.

“A black hair. Definitely not the victims.”, Erwin breathed out.

“It's a start. And with Mike's preserving approach at the crime scene, we were able to localize the footprints of two possible suspects.”, Hans smiled. “So, I'll examine that hair a bit more thoroughly under the microscope now.”

“I'll get the files of the other victims and see if Constable Jaeger was able to get the woman's identity.”, Erwin walked towards the door and eyed Mike.

“I'll see that Moblit helps Constable Arlert to get the photographs from the crime scene developed correctly – he's clever but just to be sure.”, Mike nodded.

And then everyone set to work.

~~~

“Her name was Hannah Diamant. She was the illegitimate daughter of Lord Walter Brown, member of the House of Lords. She was living with her mother, who used to be a maid in Lord Brown's household until she got pregnant from him. He financially supported mother and child. Hannah was working as a waiter in a pub in Brick Lane. Constable Jaeger was the one gathering this information.”, Erwin informed the people present and nodded towards the young man who's eyes widened and cheeks flushed when he got praised in front of everyone.

“We have two tracks. A dark hair and foot prints.”, Erwin continued. “The hair – according to Dr. Zoe – belongs to someone with European roots. One pair of footprints belongs to someone with a shoe size six or seven, the other pair of footprints belongs to someone with a show size twelve or thirteen. This was the work of Constable Arlert and Chief Inspector Zacharias.”, Erwin nodded towards them and the young Constable straightened his shoulders.

“The victims have different things in common but nothing unites all of them. Some were prostitutes, others weren't. Some were tall, others weren't. Some had dark hair, others hadn't. Most got killed on a weekend but not all. What unites them is the brutality with which they got killed and that they all died past eight o'clock in the evening. The killer strikes in the dark.”, Erwin cleared his throat.

“They all have several small wounds inflicted on their bodies but all finally died from the cuts on their throats. They were literally drowning in their own blood, suffering, struggling to stay alive. And the killer took a strand of hair from each of his victims. Our two latest victims – Isabel and Hannah – also got an organ removed each. Isabel ; the liver and Hannah; the spleen.”, Erwin continued with a stern expression as all eyes in Leman Street were watching him.

“I want each and everyone of you to pay extra attention to the things happening on our streets. We do not know the pattern of the killer, we do not know how he chooses his victims, we do not know where he will strike next – so we need to be alert! Observe our streets carefully and be there for our people. Show them that they are not alone in this, show them that we, the police, are there to help and protect them and assure them that we will bring justice to the killer”, Erwin ended the little speech and received thunderous applause.

_These are all good men – I wish to see us succeed._

~~~

By Friday that week, Erwin could no longer ignore the odd sensation. He was concerned and although they were barely known to each other, he wouldn't want anything happening to Levi. Especially something he might do to himself...

_He had promised to come by._

“Moblit, would you be able to help me find out the place of residence of someone?”, Erwin asked as he had entered his colleagues office.

“If you can give me a name, I can see what I can do for you, Erwin.”, he offered with a smile.

“Levi.”, Erwin replied with a smile.

“ _Levi_? That's it?”, Moblit asked as he pulled back his head, blinking a bit irritated.

“Yes, I'm afraid that's it.”, Erwin nodded with an apologizing smile.

“Do you know anything more, any rough idea of the exact location?”, Moblit asked as he got himself up and slowly moved around the table.

“I only know he lives in Whitechapel.”, Erwin said, although he just assumed, because Levi had said that he was ' _a man from Whitechapel indeed_ ' when they had encountered each other for the first time.

“I can not promise you anything but I will see what I can do, Erwin.”, Moblit smiled as he walked passed Erwin and headed to the archives.

Although his right leg was stiff, he didn't make the impression of a man who was in need for assistance.

_A strong man._

“Thank you, I appreciate it. I was about to get some pastries from BB's – would like something too?”, Erwin asked with a friendly smile.

Moblit breathed out amused and gave Erwin a bright smile. “I see … living together with Hans really has an impact on you – but yes, if it's not too much trouble, can you bring me anything sweet? I'll pay you later.”

“No need to pay, Moblit. Really, you're helping me so much.”, Erwin said as he patted Moblit on the shoulder.

Erwin decided to take Constable Jaeger with him. The boy seemed to be really happy to spend time with him and his street knowledge certainly helped Erwin to get a better feeling for the city.

“So, Constable Jaeger, what does your family think about you being with the police in Whitechapel?”, Erwin asked as they walked through the crowded streets. It was a busy Friday afternoon, snow was gently falling down on the people that all were about their business.

“My parents are not longer alive, Sir.”, the young man replied straight forward but Erwin could hear his voice sounding a bit more tense then usual, not as carefree.

_We might have more in common than one sees on the first glance._

“I'm sorry to hear that, Constable. So you made this decision on your own?”

“Yes – or at least to a certain degree. Constable Arlert and I have been friends since childhood. His grandparents got custody for me after my parents died so we grew up as brothers. And since he wanted to come to London for such a long time, his … fascination for the big city life sooner or later also got me. So we came here together.”, the young man in his teens declared with a smile.

_Such loyal friendship – something I have never experienced so far..._

“Excellent – so the two of you have quite a history together.”, Erwin smiled as he got out of the way to make room for a carriage that was passing through.

“Chief Police Inspector Smith, Sir. If you'd allow me to … make a short detour?”. Green eyes faced him bravely.

“Oh? I mean, we are not in a rush at all – we can simply go to your detour place together?”, Erwin offered with a friendly smile and Constable Jaeger blinked for a moment while his cheeks got a soft shimmer of red and Erwin added: “If that is okay with you, Constable Jaeger. But I'm afraid I can't allow you any private detours during your shift and if I accompany you, it won't be private.”, Erwin winked with a smile.

“I understand, Sir. Then follow me please.”, he said rather quickly and avoided Erwin's eyes under his helmet.

_I wonder where he will take me._

Erwin followed the young man through some streets that he hadn't paid any closer attention to yet. They were heading towards the west – towards central London. Constable Jaeger was quick to navigate through the narrow alleys. 

Erwin's coat got caught at some crates and other obstacles in their way from time to time and finally they were on a big street again and then there was the Tower.

“A detour? Jaeger, this is quite the other direction than I was aiming for.”, Erwin spoke a bit out of breath but yet a smile crossed his face. “You better have a good reason for this detour.

“Yes, Sir. I'm sorry, Sir.”, Constable Jaeger smiled and pointed towards some merchants and their stands. “One of my best sources for information, Sir – I think that might be a good reason.”

_This boy..._

Erwin took a deep breath as they approached the stands and Erwin was wondering whom of these men would tell a young Constable any street knowledge. But Jaeger passed all of them and would finally approach a girl, around Constable Jaeger's age, with a basket in her arm.

“Mikasa!”, he greeted her with a smile and waved. Dark eyes looked up and a warm smile spread on the girl's face as her gaze softened and she pulled the red scarf closer around her neck.

Erwin didn't disturb their conversation – instead he observed.

She looked like she had Asian roots, something very common these days for a big city like London. Her black hair was full, and the snowflakes that got caught in it wouldn't melt right away. Her clothes were simple, practical – the skirt not reaching the snowy and muddy ground – and well-worn. Her attention was all focused on Eren and her pale face was slightly flushed.

Jaeger was definitely way too nervous to see this girl just as source of information and she was looking way to happy, her eyes glued to his lips, to see him as someone from the police that would give her a few shillings for some information.

_Jaeger, be a man – invite her for a walk or go to a pub with her._

Erwin felt the cold creeping into his shoes, the snowfall, although only gentle, hadn't stopped in days and the temperature were dropping further. So Erwin walked along the stands that they had passed again to keep his muscles busy. He eyed the goods that the merchants were offering. All kinds of frills, even some from overseas.

“Sir? I'm good to go.”, Constable Jaeger approached him again, a wide smile on his face, eyes sparkling. “Thank you for your patience. I do have interesting information.”

~~~

Moblit had given him a list of people with the name “Levi” that were registered in Whitechapel. And although there were just around two dozen, Erwin would not want to knock on each of their doors and make a fool out of himself. He didn't even know if one of these people was _the_ Levi that he was looking for.

_Why would he not want to give me his last name? What should I do now?_

While Mike, Moblit, Hans, Erwin and Constable Jaeger, who seemed way too amazed by his company, were eating pastries from BB's in Erwin's office, Constable Jaeger shared his latest information again.

“There will be a boxing match tonight down at Wapping in one of the warehouses. An illegal one – and the final match will be a matter of life and death.”, he informed everyone and got curious looks.

“I say we go there and stop this madness.”, Erwin suggested with an determined expression only to blink irritated and pull back his head the next moment.

None of his colleagues seemed to approve and they all evaded his eyes.

_What is it now?_

Erwin sighed as he put down the pastry in front of him. There was an awkward silence and Constable Jaeger seemed to be equally irritated.

“Would someone like to explain to me why I seem to be the only one that wants to stop such madness?”, Erwin asked as he reached for the gin bottle in the cabinet behind him.

Mike moved uncomfortably in his chair and Hans gave Moblit a look but yet it was Mike, who usually would stay silent in situations like this, that cleared his throat and gestured Erwin to pour him a glass of gin.

Erwin poured five glasses, critically examining everyone as he handed them the glasses.

Mike gulped down the liquid and put the glass back on Erwin's desk with a loud sound.

“So?”, Erwin asked with raised eyebrows and Mike finally returned his look.

“I'm participating in that event tonight.”, he said.

_Bloody hell... what on earth?_

“What?!”, Erwin put his glass down again on the desk. “Why would you?”, he asked outraged and a heavy breath left his lungs.

“Because we need money.”, Hans now spoke, voice calm and then he eyed Erwin with a determined expression.

“Dot does all he can to convince Scotland Yard that we are as much in need for financial and personnel support as the police stations in the other parts of the city but... politics and all that make it quite difficult to justify to invest in Whitechapel. Especially with our throat slasher being a real problem at the moment.”

_This has to be a joke..._

Erwin's eyes wandered from Hans to Mike to Moblit and then he started all over again.

“Since when has this been going on? Is the Commander aware?”, he asked, voice a bit hoarse but before he waited for a reply, the words just continued. “You actually risk the life of one of your best men to obtain some bloody money? You are counterbalancing a human life with money and there's a chance that he will …. Mike you might die!”, Erwin's words had taken up speed.

Hans was the one to answer the questions first. “About two years. And Dot is not fully aware... we asked him to please not ask any questions about how we provide the money, to trust us.”

_This is unbelievable!_

“Two years? Fine... and what will you tell the Commander in the case the Mike is not victorious? If he doesn't _kill_ his opponent but is the one being killed? You are committing a crime by attending illegal events like this – all of you – and you are killing people, Mike, and not on duty or by accident! Do you not feel any regret?”, Erwin's words left his lips without further thinking about them, this was his true and honest opinion.

He gulped down the gin and filled his glass again.

“Erwin, I understand that this might sound disturbing to you.”, Mike began, calm as always and pushed his glass across the desk, gesturing Erwin to fill it again.

 _Disturbing is_ slightly _understated._

“But let me assure you two things. First: I have only killed people that were hiding from the police anyway, people with a criminal record. Murderers, rapists – people that want quick money to start a new life somewhere else. For all other participants I … usually...”, Mike took a deep breath. “I just beat them until they are unconscious and Hans makes sure they do not die.”, he explained and after Erwin had filled his glass again, he gulped the gin down.

“Second: I never lose.”, a fierce smile crossed his face.

~~~

The atmosphere in the warehouse where two boxing rings were set up was far from anything Erwin had seen in a long time. The air was filled with smoke, dust and the smell of sweat and testosterone.

It was crowded and although they all had dressed in fresh, less fashionable clothing – to blend in with the people – Erwin felt dirty the moment the first people jostled into him. Constable Jaeger, who would get called by first name during the evening, was way too excited that he was now part of this insider group and by the fact that everyone would address him by his first name for the evening and he was allowed to do the same.

“Eren, get us some beer!”, Erwin pushed the boy some shillings into his hand and off he was. “Hans, you got this all figured out? Like which opponents are … to be spared in a potential final match?”, Erwin asked and Hans nodded.

“Let me check the list of the participants once more, sometimes people sign up last minute. But you can enjoy Mike's impressive skills until then and when it's the final fight, we will know for sure. Moblit knows pretty much every name and face that is on a wanted-list in London, if not even south England.”, Hans patted Erwin on the shoulder.

_You better be damn sure...._

Eren returned with four bottles of beer and handed three of them to his superiors and then Erwin was left alone with the young man as Hans and Moblit went to check the list of participants.

“Sir – I mean... Erwin. We should head over to the ring – the fight is about to begin.”, Eren urged him and when Erwin turned his head towards one of the boxing rings, he could already spot Mike.

The people present seemed to know him and went wild when he would walk some circles in the ring, body all covered by a simple cloak.

He was tall – way taller than his opponent who probably wasn't exactly small. Erwin pulled back his head as he blinked surprised when Mike let down the cloak around his shoulders. With his hair bound together at the back of his head, he looked quite different from when he was on duty, his face partly covered by his hair and a hat.

_And his body is massive and really impressive._

Mike let his opponent have his entrance and now the crowd around the other boxing ring was starting to laugh, so people started to turn heads, laugh more and shout things.

“Can he even reach his opponent's chin?”

“Get him a ladder!”

Erwin furrowed his brows and turned his head to the other boxing ring as well just to drop his beer bottle in the very next moment, eyes wide in shock.

Levi was standing in the other boxing ring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regular updates? Count me in on that - my muse is strong at the moment. Thank you for all the lovely messages on Tumblr! <3 You are fueling my writer's heart & soul!
> 
> More characters got introduced and I hope you like them. Also my 'new' way of storytelling aka pacing to bring forth the whole story is something I'm really heappy with and I hope you like it as well.


	10. Correlation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boxing, a visit at a brothel and getting closer on a rather unique level.
> 
> (Odd summary, I know, but I don't want to take anything away.)

_Breathe, focus, concentrate._

Levi ignored the insults and scoff that were directed at him, tried to not pay attention to the people pointing at him while he would reveal his body and got rid of the lose shirt he had been wearing.

His opponent was taller than him – not that it would have surprised him. A few teeth were already missing from his front teeth line and he looked like he could use a bath very urgently.

_Disgusting..._

From a few metres away, closer to the other boxing ring where Mike was about to start his first fight of the evening, Erwin stared and completely did not pay attention to the young Constable that was asking him repeatedly if everything was okay since he had dropped his beer bottle.

Time seemed to slow down as his eyes examined Levi's body, his toned muscles, his scars and marks that stood out on the pale skin. He examined everything there was about Levi.

His hair – like Mike's – was bound together on the back of his head, putting even more focus on the sharp jawline and the wide shoulders. Levi was muscular to a degree that Erwin would never have guessed it on the first view, even after carrying him. Yet his body seemed lean from some angles, slim almost as if he was eating way too little – a side effect of the opium?

“Eren, get me another beer.”, he finally reacted as the young Constable seemed utterly irritated by the whole situation but then was off to get his superior another beer.

_Study, observe, adapt. Ignore the simple creatures._

Levi closed his eyes for a moment, focused on his heart rate – dangerously low from the excessive use of opium throughout the last week – and then he recalled why he was here.

_Get killed or take the money in the final round._

And then the bells for both boxing rings would ring and the event got officially started.

Left – dodge. Right – doge.

_His jabs are fast but his body language gives away when he will use them and with which hand._

Right – left – dodge.

_And he's obviously left-handed._

Levi was prancing backwards through the boxing ring and the audience was making fun of him for that.

“Look at the coward! Trying to get away like a girl!”

“Fight you pussy!”

But Levi didn't hear them. All he heard was his the beat of his heart, the flow of blood in his body and his in- and exhaling of the stuffy air. His eyes were all focused on his opponent who seemed to get enraged more and more every second since Levi just dodged his punches.

Right – left – left. _NOW._

Levi found the right moment, broke his opponent's momentum and with a well-placed punch he sent him tumbling backwards, blood gushing from his nose.

“That's the man from the police sta-”, Eren's voice suddenly screamed excited and shrill.

“Shut it, Jaeger!”, Erwin hissed as he covered Eren's mouth with his hand and gave the boy an intimidating look. “Are you stupid? Do you want to get us killed?”, followed equally upset as a whisper as he slowly let go of the young man who was shaking his head with wide eyes.

“I … I'm sorry... I forgot.”, Eren stuttered with red cheeks and visibly upset,

_This was a close call..._

But nobody seemed to have heard the words since the fights in both boxing rings had found their ends under the thunderous screams of the crowd. Both fights were over rather quickly.

Mike was towering over his opponent who lay on the ground, holding his nose and Levi was putting back on his shirt and then was climbing out of the ring.

“Ah, there you are!”, Hans smiled and held a piece of paper in his hand. “Mike is impressive, right?”

Erwin just nodded – he hadn't seen one moment of that fight and only had paid attention to Levi alone.

“So did you get your information?”, Erwin wanted to know.

“Yes, we have thirty participants all in all. Some late sign ups from today as predicted. Bets are all on Mike's side as usually when he signs up. Moblit has identified five people that are to be... eliminated should it come to a final against them.”, Hans explained and Erwin took a deep breath as he took the paper with the names.

He still was not convinced of all of this – but now there was something else for him to worry about: Levi, who had signed up with a different name obviously.

~~~

The further the event proceeded the more Erwin was able to see Mike's skills and potential. Now he understood why Mike had told him that he never lost and how they could be so sure that he would not lose in the last fight. None of his opponent's stood a chance against him when his fists covered in gloves would hail down on them until they would no longer be able to get up.

_Indeed very impressive._

In the other ring it was Levi – despite all odds in terms of his height – that was winning round after round that he was called out. His tactic was quite the opposites of Mike's who would dominate by strength. Levi would observe and wait for the right moment to win the fight with a single, well-placed punch.

Only from time to time would his opponent's actually hit him – but those hits would let him stumble and lose his control quite a lot. The further the event proceeded the weaker Levi seemed to get and every time he had a break Erwin could see him trembling... shaking – was that the opium wearing off?

At some point Eren and Hans would both bring up the question about Levi's identity again and Erwin confirmed that the man in the ring was Levi – _the_ Levi he had been asking Moblit about. There was no need to lie about it anyway – it would just make things way more complicated and Hans had helped him carry Levi, so he would know for sure. Moblit seemed to be pretty relieved since the 'Levi' that Erwin had asked him about earlier that day was now found.

“I have a feeling that our Mike might have to face your Mister Levi in the final round.”, Hans sighed and took a sip from his beer.

“I agree and I honestly don't know what to make of it...”, Erwin sighed.

_Why is he here? Does he need the money so bad? Or does he have a death wish?_

Levi definitely did not make the impression of being in the state to fully process what he was doing. His eyes were off way too often and his body seemed to move slower and slower with every fight which resulted in Levi getting quite some nasty punches to the face.

_Why did he not come to Leman Street? Why did he not keep his promise?_

Indeed Mike and Levi – the latter towards the end seemingly more by luck – were able to defeat all their opponents and the crowd was getting wild.

“The giant and the midget!”

“The mountain and the bug!”

“He will crush him!”

Everyone was betting on Mike – who wouldn't, considering that Mike was unbeaten in this event and Levi had been an outsider that just _seemed_ to be lucky by waiting for the right moment – yet every fight he had gotten slower and had received more punches.

In the break before the big fight Mike got company from his colleagues and Erwin urged him to end this fast and clean, to just knock out Levi so that he could take care of him and Levi could get treatment from Hans.

“I don't toy with my opponents anyway, Erwin – but yes, I'll make sure.”, Mike nodded

The warehouse had gotten more and more crowded with every hour of the event and with every fight the atmosphere had gotten more and more aggressive. Small fights were happening on the sides, beer and other beverages were spilled across the floor, people were shouting and the overwhelming smell of sweat and smoke was hanging heavy in the air.

_I just want this event to be over and leave._

His eyes scanned Levi in the boxing ring, freshly bandaging his hands and binding his hair again with shaky hands. There had been fresh wounds on his wrists, cut wounds if Erwin had seen right... and it pained Erwin to know that Levi was compensating his mental pain with physical stimulus. But those – probably self-inflicted – wounds on his arms weren't the ones that hurt Levi. Yet he looked like he was in pain, his upper lip was bleeding from a punch that had left a cut in the sensitive skin. His right eye started to swell and turn black. His body seemed so fragile while he sat on the small stool, sweating through his shirt and shivering.

_Why are you doing this to yourself?_

Erwin wasn't sure if he imagined it but for a moment he thought that Levi had seen him, that their eyes had met – but on the other hand it had felt as if Levi had looked right through him, being too caught up in his own mind.

~~~

_Breathe, focus, concentrate._

Mike was one of the tallest men Levi had ever seen and his thighs were about the same size as Levi's torso. He was massive with big, trained muscles, his whole skin was covered in sweat and he was oozing with testosterone – the first opponent of the night that Levi actually considered _worthy_.

They started to circle one another while the crowd got louder again as they placed their last bets.

“Impressive body but I'm not one of those simple minded idiots.”, Levi murmured.

“Thank you. And I understand that you are not one of them, Levi.”, Mike smirked back.

_How rude..._

“Oh, so we address each other by our given names now, _Mike_?”, Levi replied.

“I think we have not been officially introduced yet, that is correct. But I take it that you do have a certain interest to survive in this event and so do I.”, Mike smiled.

“Yeah, that's why I plan to win.”

“Since I'm unbeaten, I think it's very unlikely that this will happen – but let me assure you that … I have no intention to actually kill you. So I'd like you to just play along – Hans and Erwin will take care of you once I've knocked you out.”

“Oh? And what will happen if I beat the shit out of you and kill you? Will they arrest me in a warehouse full of London's finest filth?”, Levi's voice cut sharp.

Mike seemed puzzled for a moment.

“In the unlikely event that you should dominate this fight, it would be nice if you could spare me the same way I will spare you.”

_You're just as upright as that fucking Smith..._

Before Levi put on his right glove, he offered his hand to Mike and nodded.

“Fair fight and may the best one win.”, he said and Mike took Levi's hand into his big hand, shaking it.

“I'm very much looking forward to it.”, Mike agreed.

~~~

“Fuck.”, Mike moaned as he slowly opened his eyes and blinked.

“Oh good lord.”, Moblit sighed relieved.

Hans patted Mike on the shoulder: “Just lay down for a bit longer and rest but it's good to see you are awake again.”

“What... happened?”, Mike closed his eyes again and furrowed his brows.

“Levi knocked you out.”, Erwin stated the fact and Eren added his own, very vivid and excited retelling of the rather short fight between the two men that couldn't be much more different in physical appearance.

Indeed Mike had made the impression to knock out Levi as soon as he could – but his feeling of superiority betrayed him as he didn't pay enough attention to Levi. So while Mike had started to throw punches and show off, Levi had observed again.

_Oh how similar they are in their own unique way..._

And Levi – as previously – had just waited for the right moment when Mike would lose his balance after a punch that was a bit off. And then he had used his chance as he delivered a hard and well-placed hook to Mike's chin.

Mike's head had snapped back and he had tumbled backwards before he would just collapse. Like someone had removed his skeleton and his body would no longer be able to stand upright.

Levi then had jumped on Mike and delivered some hard punches into his face to make sure there was blood and the people would get what they wanted … sort of.

The uproar in the audience and the shouts in disbelief still rang in Erwin's ears while Eren told the events to Mike.

“Levi is a very rich man now...”, Moblit added and handed Mike the outcome of the bets and Mike widened his eyes after he had seen the numbers.

“Oh shit... I messed up...”, Mike sighed.

Hans shook his head. “No need to feel bad, Mike. We're just happy that Levi spared your life and you will be as good as new in a few days.”

“Where's Levi now?”, Mike asked. “I want to speak to him...”

“He took the price money and left. I went after him and was able to catch him before he went into a coach. He told me he'd come by Leman Street next week so I guess you'll be able to talk to him then.”, Erwin said.

_And I hope he better keeps his word this time..._

~~~

The next day was quiet. Luckily there had been no major crimes that would need higher ranked police staff to work on and Erwin decided to visit Mike after he had done some paper work in his office and made a small detour to BB's.

_Damn you, Hans. How should I ever live without BB's again?_

Mike lived near the police station as well and Moblit had given him a rough description of how to get there.

A small apartment, one room with everything he needed and an adjoining wet room. The furniture was simple, functional and it was very tidy and everything seemed to have its designated place.

Mike looked better than yesterday, his nose was still swollen and he had a bruise on his chin from Levi's final punch but he looked way more collected.

They had tea, ate pastries and talked about the boxing event again. Erwin retold Mike's fight a bit more focused since Eren's retelling had been quite hectic especially for Mike's condition yesterday.

“I can't believe it, really...”, Mike sighed.

“Well, there's a first time for everything. But I think nobody really was expecting this to happen...”

“Definitely not, I mean...l he is so.... _small_? How did he even reach my chin and put that much force into his punch?”, Mike's hand ran across his bruised chin before he shook his head in disbelief.

“Oh, do you know what they called him after the fight? 'Humanity's strongest'... so I guess he's now the new number one favourite for these illegal boxing events. I mean... he beat the all-time favourite.”, Erwin smiled and then took a bite from his pastry.

_Oh this is so good._

Mike let out a hearty laugh. “Wow, that is a name indeed! I guess it's time for me – formerly 'Humanity's Strongest' as it seems – to withdraw from those events... especially since a lot of those people actually believe that the final fight is a matter of life and death and according to that I should be buried six feet under by now.”

“I mean, you could try to get into legal, professional boxing? You definitely have... a lot of potential – and muscles.”, Erwin smiled.

“Maybe... we'll see.”, Mike smirked.

_It will probably never happen – but it might be for the best. Leman Street needs you. The people need you._

There was a short silence between them, only the clock on the wall and a women outside screaming at her child could be heard.

“So, you're 34 and and have never been married?”, Erwin tried to take the chance and get to know more about his rather quiet colleague.

“No, never have.”, was the rather short reply. “But neither have you, right?”

_Bull's eye._

“You're right about that.”, Erwin replied rather short as well. He didn't want this conversation to turn into something about him – his persona was rather well known for the facts that were spread.

“Where are you actually from? You don't sound like someone who was born and raised in London.”, Erwin asked further.

“I'm from Liverpool.”, Mike said. “I came to London when I was 22. I try to visit my parents as often as I can but we have...”, he turned the pastry in his rather big hand. “It's a bit complicated.”

_Complicated? His parent's didn't approve that he went to London?_

“I'm sorry to hear that.”, Erwin pressed his lips together before he took up the tea cup.

“Ah, it's not that bad.”, Mike said as he seemed to open up to his colleague. ”But it goes hand in hand with your first question; they'd like to have grandchildren. They want me to come back to Liverpool and marry a good, honest woman there. Preferably one that they chose for me.”, Mike explained and then took a bite from his pastry.

_And you're not willing to live up to those expectations for your very own reasons._

“But as long as you are happy and you are not upsetting your parents on purpose, I don't see what's wrong about that, Mike. Honestly.”, Erwin offered Mike a understanding smile and the taller one seemed puzzled for a moment.

“Yeah... I mean, you might have a point and I probably just should try to show my parents that I am really happy with what I do.”, the lips under the moustache curled into a smile.

“So what do you usually do – besides working – that makes you happy.”, Erwin asked further.

“Nothing too extraordinary that would be worth mentioning.”, Mike replied then his eyes focused on Erwin. “I'd like to show you one of the places I like to go from time to time though – and I actually haven't been there for a few weeks because of our throat slasher....”

“What kind of place are we talking about? Another illegal sports event? Or maybe cockfighting? One of these opium dens?”, Erwin asked jokingly and Mike breathed out amused.

“Nothing like that. It's a...”, Mike cleared his throat. “Brothel – more on the expensive side, rather exclusive.”, he explained and Erwin's eyebrows wandered up.

_A brothel? One of the places that make Mike happy is a brothel?_

Yes, carnal desires were normal and the relief one would feel after living out what they desired was …

_Mary. My beautiful Mary._

… not to be underestimated. But somehow Erwin was asking himself if this was really all there was to it? Having sex made Mike happy?

_Ooooh... maybe... a Molly house*? I've never been to one of those places and wouldn't have guessed that Mike visits them._

“Are we talking about a … normal brothel that any man with money and a certain standard can access and then chose the girl he wants?”

“Yes, an expensive brothel where you can chose your girl or boy if you're up for that. But if she or he doesn't like you, they won't get forced.“

A brothel where one could get intimate with both, men and women? That was new but probably common in London.

“I just wanted to make sure that it's not one of those institutions where the girls … and boys ... are working against their will and need to do things they don't want to do.”, Erwin made up an excuse for his question and Mike nodded happily.

“I mean, I guess if you offer enough money there will always be someone who's willing to do what you want.”, he smirked.

They enjoyed some gin, headed over to a pub for a proper meal – as good as BB's pastries were as small they were – before they drank more and then took a coach to the brothel that made Mike happy.

~~~

“Good evening, gentlemen – please come in.”, they were greeted by a slender, young woman that had opened the red door after Mike had knocked and they both had taken off their hats.

_Flowers... ginger? Perfume... opium?_

Erwin tried to identify the different scents that surrounded them once they had entered the house.

“It smells nice, right?”, Mike asked as he must have realised Erwin's rather odd facial expression.

“Ah... yeah... really nice and sweet.”, Erwin nodded as he took a look around.

_Almost too sweet for my liking._

Everything was furnished with rich colours, heavy carpets, fresh flowers, golden lamps, light curtains – definitely a brothel.

There was muffled laughter and some moaning, half-naked women were walking around, eyeing the two men that had just arrived, offering them seductive smiles as they played with their hair and let their hands run along their bodies, flashing some bare skin as they lifted the fabrics of their clothes. Some customers were taken upstairs by other girls who didn't pay attention to Mike and Erwin – they definitely knew how to be successful at their profession.

“Mister Z. - it has been so long, I'll let Miss Nanaba know that you're here right away. Unfortunately our welcoming rooms are all occupied at the moment – please accept my apologies but on a Saturday evening we have a lot of customers. I can take your coats and hats though, if you want.”, the woman that had let them in said with a friendly smile.

“No need to be sorry and no need to take our belongings – we can take care of that when it's time.”, Mike offered with a smile but Erwin could see that his colleague – although obviously a regular here – seemed to get nervous.

The woman left them alone, headed upstairs and Erwin eyed Mike.

The more gin had found its way into Mike's stomach the loser his tongue had gotten and the more Erwin had been able to get a picture of his colleague.

“So this Miss Nanaba is the owner?”, he asked.

“Yes, she is.”, Mike replied without looking at Erwin.

_That was the easy part..._

“And as every good brothel owner she doesn't work in the profession but takes care of her girls?”

“Correct.”

_Now we're getting somewhere...Mike had already hinted that he liked her a lot during dinner and drinks._

“And I take it that this Miss Nanaba is also the reason why this place makes you so happy?”

Mike's nasal wings widened and he gulped – just once – before a smile crossed his face and his eyes would become all gleaming as he lifted his chin.

“Yes, she is.”, Mike breathed out, no longer paying any attention to Erwin but taking a step forward.

Erwin furrowed his brows and blinked while he became aware of the person – probably Miss Nanaba – that came down the stairs.

_Oh Mike..._

Erwin smiled as he saw Mike with a gentle smile on his face – the hard contours and the shades of the bruises seemed to soften as he was all focused on the rather tall, elegant woman that came down the stairs.

She was dressed in a wide dress in dark shades and red flower patterns. Her rather short hair was somehow bound around her head, crowned with a golden hair accessory in the shape of a flower that was decorated with shimmering stones.

The colour of her eyes seemed likes honey, almost golden in the orange-reddish gas lights and the expression on her face gave little away about her intention. She was beautiful in a very boyish way, with a pointed chin and high cheekbones. Her dress was high-necked and also covered her arms but Erwin got the idea that she was rather fit, muscular even.

When she finally stood before them, a warm smile spread on her face as she lifted her hand and gently touched Mike's cheek.

“Welcome, Mike – it's been a while”, she said with a warm, friendly voice before she furrowed her brows and her fingers traced over Mike's nose and then over his chin. “And I better do not want to know where you got _that_ from.”

_This place definitely makes him happy._

Mike offered and apologizing smile and reached for her hand, placing a gentle kiss on the back of her hand.

“I'm sorry that it has taken me so long – we're quite busy.”, he said, slowly lowering their hands but not letting go off her fingers.

“We? So this is a colleague of yours?”, she asked and her eyes now quickly scanned Erwin who took a step forward.

“Yes, indeed. This is Mister Smith, he joined my police station a few weeks ago and since then we have been really busy”, Mike explained.

_He can be quite talkative... if he wants to._

Miss Nanaba rose her eyebrows and a smirk crossed her face. “I have read about the throat slasher. Have you ever considered that your... Mister Smith might be the one you're looking for?”, she asked, looking back at Mike. “I mean, you just told me that since he appeared you have been busy.... so you should consider it.”

Erwin furrowed his brows.

_Is she joking?_

And Mike also seemed confused about this suggestion as he would just blink.

She sighed and shook her head with a smile: “A joke, gentlemen – a simple joke. I'm sorry if you've forgotten how to have a good time – but I guess that's one of the reasons why you are here, right?”, she asked before she let go off Mike's hand and offered it to Erwin.

“Mister Smith, you will find out that my establishment does not only have the most beautiful women... men... girls... boys... and everything between you might desire...”, she almost whispered as she leaned in so that Erwin could smell her rich perfume.

“But also are we able to fulfil your every wish. Whatever it is that you want to experience, we can make it become reality. Just allow us some time for preparation should you have very extravagant needs. Money makes everything possible.”, a suggestive smile crossed her face.

_Oh wow... this woman knows how to sell her brothel._

Erwin slowly rose her hand to his lips, placed a gentle kiss on the back of it and with a smile said: “I'm very much looking forward to explore all the qualities your establishment has to offer.”

_Spending some time here might help me to find ease of mind and maybe the one or the other person here will be able to … help me forget.._

_Mary. My beautiful Mary._

“Well then... since our welcoming rooms are all occupied at the moment, why don't we have a glass of champagne in my office first?”

~~~

It was interesting to see Mike in this environment. All the people here seemed to know him – everyone greeted him, asked about his bruises, asked where he had been – and he would smile a lot and answer everyone and was way more talkative than at the police station.

The way he looked at Miss Nanaba was astonishing – as if he saw her for the first time, eyes glued to her lips when she spoke, examining her face and hands, when she was moving.

_This is a man in love._

Once they were seated in the big office after they had hung up their coats and hats, Miss Nanaba would give some of her girls orders and while they brought champagne and some snacks, she would sit next to Mike on the sofa while Erwin sat on the one on the opposite side of the coffee table.

“I would like to state my rules first, Mister Smith.”, Miss Nanaba said and Erwin nodded.

“Please, go ahead.”

“Rule number one; my personnel will not get forced to do anything. Rule number two; new customers pay in advance. Rule number three; prices are not negotiable and my personnel is free to price what they want. Rule number four; if you break any of these rules, I can not promise that you leave this place in one piece. ”, she smirked and Erwin lifted his eyebrows. “I think these rules are not hard to remember, right?”

“Certainly not...”, Erwin cleared his throat.

“Oh and one small addition: my personnel will address you as Mister S – if you decide to tell them another name, your full name or a whatever name you feel like; that is completely up to you and you can remind them to stick to your preferred name.”

_That's rather odd... but it's her establishment._

Erwin just nodded.

“So, Mister Smith, how can I make your stay at my place unique... unforgettable?”, she asked while a girl poured them champagne but before Erwin could reply she added: “Or would you like me to have a guess? Prove that I'm worthy to run such a business?”, she smirked and Erwin smiled as well.

“Well, why not tell me how you could make a man like me happy.”, he replied.

“I like him already.”, she chuckled towards Mike and placed her hand in his neck and Erwin raised his eyebrow.

“Okay... so... let me start with your preference.”, she said and let her fingers run through Mike's neck as she eyed Erwin.  
“Can you stand up please?”, she asked and Erwin gave her a questioning look but she just gestured him to stand up.

_How should that help?_

Erwin got himself up with a sigh and raised his eyebrows. “And?”

“Turn around please.”, she said and Erwin shook his head with a smile while he turned around.

“Good, okay. Thank you, you can sit down again.”, she smiled and then reached for her glass while Erwin sat down again.

“You have no preference for a gender – you desire people for their whole being and that is a rare gift these days.”, she said with a low voice before she drank from her glass.

_How on earth... ?_

Erwin widened his eyes and blinked in disbelief, hands resting on his knees.

“How did you...?”, he breathed out while his eyes examined her critically.

“Experience, Mister Smith. Men like you are gems these days and besides you and Mike I have only met around two hand full in the last year that would ooze this … I do not even know how to describe it. I'm sorry if that's not the answer you were hoping for.”, she said and her hand ran along Mike's upper arm.

_Mike was... also interested in men and women alike?_

“I … I mean... you're not wrong with what you say.”, Erwin agreed and then reached for the glass on the table.

“Want me to make further assumptions?”, she smirked. “I know it seems very... creepy – but I guess I have a gift just as Mike has, right?”, her fingers ran over his lower arm now and Mike was shifting slightly under her touch.

Mike nodded and Erwin just shook his head while he breathed out amused.

“I don't think I want further assumptions at the moment, thank you.”, Erwin said.

“Good, then just let me know how my house can be of your service for tonight.”

“Could I... just have a look around? See some more of the house, the rooms, the men and women working here?”, Erwin asked.

“Of course you can – but since we're very busy right now, you may be a bit restricted with where you're going. I'll have one of my girls show you around and you just let her know once you have decided.”, she agreed and then leaned forward to reach for a small bell on the table.

The light sound summoned the girl, maybe barely 18 years old, that had poured them champagne and then had disappeared again.

“Can you please show Mister S around, my dear?”, Miss Nanaba asked and the girl made a curtsy.

“Yes, of course, Miss Nanaba.”, she said and then approached Erwin. “I am pleased to meet you, Mister S. Would you please follow me?”, she smiled and Erwin got up from the sofa, giving Mike one last look and then followed the girl out of the room. Just when the door got closed, in the corner of his eye it looked like Miss Nanaba was straddling Mike's lap.

_What is going on between them?_

“Mister S? Would you like to have a drink at the bar, see some of our men and women? Or would you like to see some of the … themed rooms first?”, she asked.

“Themed rooms?”, Erwin asked, not quite sure what to make of it.

“Follow me please, Mister S.”, she smiled and then made her way.

Erwin got a tour through the themed rooms on the first floor that weren't occupied and got told about those that were. A wild mixture of cultural stereotypes and fetish-related interior, furniture crafted with attention to detail, every room richly decorated and certainly inspiring and stimulating on the mind.

The alcohol, the sweet scent and the lustful sounds behind the closed doors definitely had an influence on Erwin. He had come here with Mike in order to get to know his colleague better – which he had somehow – and hadn't been too much in the mood for intimacy initially. But now he could definitely see himself in one of those rooms, fucking someone.

They were passing women, mostly, but also men that were working here. Young men that would bite their lips and gave Erwin shy looks as they passed him, touching their bodies.

_The variety is really... pleasing._

“All our rooms have adjoining wet rooms and free usage of towels. The rooms have a wide variety of items that can be used such as oils and phallus-similar objects and you will find whips, ropes and other more specific items in some of the rooms – and only personnel that agreed upon those things will go to such a room with you.”, the girl explained to him while they headed downstairs.

“I would like to proceed with the basement and then we return to the ground floor and head to the bar where usually our personnel and clients meet for further arrangements.”, Erwin got informed as they headed further downstairs.

The atmosphere changed and the sounds changed.

“The dungeon, as we call this part of the house, is very specific. There are only a few rooms that grant privacy but a lot more here is happening in the open for everyone to see that wants to.”, the girl explained. “Most people that come here have very specific desires and the men and women accompanying them down here are very expensive. I don't know if you're interested to have a look around or if this might be not to your liking?”

Erwin hesitated for a moment. He never had had any desire to watch other people but he would want to have a look around anyway. The mentioning of rooms made this place indeed interesting since there were some... rather specific desires that he had.

“I'll have a look around, thank you.”, he said and the girl nodded.

~~~

“Oh, that was a rather quick look around.”, she smiled as Erwin returned to the staircase where the girl had been waiting.

“I didn't want to seem like an intruder that just watches.”, Erwin smiled.

“Oh, Mister S – that would be fine as well. Our customers, especially those that are regulars in the dungeon, get to know each other sooner or later if they want to and I have a feeling that you fit in just fine.”

_I'm not too sure about that – I have a feeling that this establishment could rip a hole into my purse with ease._

Once they were back in the basement and headed towards the bar there was laughter and music, glasses ringing. Quite the contrast to the dungeon he just had inspected where people would moan and cry in pain and lust. Something that contributed to his overall state of arousal and getting drunk – on lust and alcohol.

“Sounds like there is a party going on?”, Erwin guessed and the girl nodded.

“Kind of, Mister S. One of our regulars is celebrating something and invites everyone, so you're lucky to be here tonight.”

“Oh? Seems indeed that I have chosen the right day to come here.”, he agreed.

_Oh well, actually it is thanks to Mike that I'm here... I wonder how he is doing with Miss Nanaba?_

Then the girl pushed aside a heavy curtain and made room for Erwin to enter the barely lit room.

The air was heavy with smoke from cigarettes, cigars and opium pipes. There was a small band playing in the back of the room. The people, customers as personnel alike, were dancing, drinking, talking.

There was an erotic atmosphere in the room. Women were showing off their breasts, letting customers touch them, kiss and suck on them; a men was slowly stroking his cock while he was kissing a much older man and got pulled onto his lap. People were touching each other, kissing, enjoying themselves.

It made something with Erwin and his palms became sweaty. He observed the actions around him as he headed to the bar and ordered a gin.

“You're lucky, no need to pay, Mister...?”, the bartender told him and Erwin nodded.

Erwin blinked irritated for a moment.

“Ah... Mister S. And yes, I've heard already. Can you tell me who the generous man is so that I can thank him personally?”, Erwin asked as he pulled the gin closer.

“Over there in the corner. He's not a man who's in need for much attention. His name is Mister L.”, Erwin got informed.

And while he moved his head, took a sip from the gin and his brain processed the information he had just received, he lay eyes upon him.

Levi.

Once more they would meet at a place where he would never have guessed to meet him. This time even in another part of the city.

Levi's face was clearly marked by the fights from the night before - above all his black eye and the bruised lip - and yet he looked way more collected than the last few times he had seen him.

~~~

Levi had seen the Chief Police Inspector the moment he had entered the bar. How could he not? He was tall, well dressed, good looking, his hair was perfectly parted – as always – and his blue eyes had been observing the party.

_What brings you here, is Dawk's wife boring now?_

Levi and Farlan were laying on deep purple sofas, an opium pipe in Levi's hand, wine on the table and two of Miss Nanaba's girls were with them.

Farlan was chuckling as he placed some sloppy kisses on the neck of the girl that was sitting on his lap and Levi had a girl with bare breasts sitting next to him while he scanned Erwin's movement as he slowly approached them after they had made eye contact.

Something about Smith always screamed 'I am here'. He was good looking, pleasing to the eye of men and women alike, a handsome face, a clear cut jawline, a prominent nose, high cheekbones, dominant eyebrows, an intense gaze out of fascinating blue eyes that only softened when he would be drinking – just as now.

That Levi was under the influence of opium didn't necessarily help the situation since he had had some very … interesting dreams about Smith when he had been consuming it the last weeks. He couldn't deny that he was drawn to him somehow and that there was more to his interest in him than he would have guessed at first.

_He had been on my mind a lot more than I'm willing to admit._

“Mister... L, we meet at the most interesting places as it seems.”, Mister Smith said with a charming smile and immediately got Farlan's attention too who would lift his head and give him a dizzy look.

_You better not mention that fucking boxing event...._

“Woah... you're that.. police officer. We were at your welcome party!”, he babbled before his face sank against the cleavage of the woman that was with him and then babbled: “Levi, you didn't tell me you know him!”

_Yes, I didn't – because there's no need to._

“He's a Chief Police Inspector, Farlan, don't be rude.”, Levi smirked and then eyed Smith who still stood before them.

“Please, come sit with us, Mister S.”, Levi offered with an inviting gesture and he could see the blue eyes scanning the girl next to him.

Once he was seated on the free arm chair at their table he cleared his throat: “I heard that you're inviting everyone here tonight – thank you for the generous gesture. I guess you are celebrating your-”

_Shut up!_

“Yes, I indeed celebrate my latest contract.”, Levi's eyes widened and his tone had gotten sharp as he interrupted him.

He could see the puzzled look on the man's face. He was drunk, clearly – but Levi was clearly under the influence of opium as well, so there was no shame for either of them and he was expecting Smith to at least function to a level where he would get the hint.

_Don't fuck this up, Smith._

“Aaah, yes... congratulations on... the contract.”, Smith agreed and rose his glass.

Farlan knocked over his glass when they were about to ring them together and he clearly looked like he had enough for the night. Enough wine, enough opium.

As soon as they had arrived here, Farlan had started to smoke and drink way too much so now he was no longer in control. Levi on the other hand had taken it easy and was very much in control, unlike the previous week.

_And I better not think about those events now._

“How about you take a room with your girl?”, Levi suggested as Farlan made the silver candlesticks sway dangerously with his uncoordinated movements.

“Yeah... maybe you're... right.”, Farlan agreed and ran his hand over his face.

It took him about a minute to find a steady stand and then he could only move somewhat decently thanks to the girl that was supporting him.

“I'm sorry that you had to see him in such a condition. It would be very nice if you could keep this to you.”, Levi said as he eyed Smith who had been eyeing to girl next to Levi again.

“You mean that the son of a very important man is drunk and on opium in a brothel?”, Erwin smirked as he caught Levi's gaze. “Or do you mean that you actually are celebrating your victory over my colleague – who is here with me, should you want to know – in an illegal boxing event?”

_Oh, you think you're so clever, don't you?_

“Quid pro quo, Smith. I won't tell anyone if you don't tell anyone.”, Levi smirked.

“What do you mean?”, Smith asked and Levi was wondering if he really was that drunk already that he didn't understand.

“Well... I won't tell – above all; the press – about the illegal activities of the police when they should be fighting crime, not participate in it. Especially with a serial killer running around. _Throat slasher_ – what a pathetic name. And in return, you will neither blackmail my friend nor will you share with him that I participated in said event.”, Levi said and the Police Chief Inspector widened his eyes.

_Now you get it._

Levi smirked happily as he reached for the opium pipe again and saw the Chief Police Inspector frowning, realizing that Levi might have a point there.

“So, we have a deal?”, he asked while Smith stared into his gin glass.

“Yes, we have a deal.”, he agreed.

_He can be so tame if you grab him by the balls._

Levi enjoyed the situation with Smith and the evening at Miss Nanaba's house in general. It helped him to numb the thoughts that have been on his mind for the past week, that he only was able to stop with physical sensations or opium. He had seen a lot of people enjoying themselves and the further the evening proceeded the more he was looking forward to satisfy his own desires. 

“Good, then if you'd excuse me now, Mister S?”, Levi said as he rose his hand and without warning pinched the girl's nipple. She groaned, her body twitched and while Levi twirled the sensitive skin between his fingers she softly started to moan, heat rushing to her face.

Smith's lips parted and his eyes observed the scene and then he gulped heavily.

“I have some other plans to end my night. You're welcome to join if that's what you're into... but it might be not to your liking down there.”, Levi smirked as he released the girl's nipple and she would inhale sharply.

_Either way – it will tell me more about you._

~~~

Thanks to the late hour most people were in rooms now, some had decided to just give in to their lust in the bar – but that also meant that the dungeon was pretty much empty when Erwin had followed Levi and the girl a few minutes later.

He was driven by curiosity, by the very present feeling in his groin. Even desire maybe.

The dim light in the basement just gave enough vision so that Erwin could identify the faces of the people down there.

A group of four men was engaged with a woman and a man, both tied up, both moaning.

And besides them there was only one more sound source down here. In the very back he could hear Levi's voice, muffled and deep and the moaned replies of the girl. They only got interrupted by some striking sounds and her whining.

_Why did I come down here?_

His half-hardened cock that was pressing against his thigh was the unvarnished truth he couldn't ignore.

When he went around another corner he saw them from an angle behind. His eyes had somehow gotten used to the darkness so he was able to observe the situation.

She was naked, bent over a wooden construction, her ankles and wrists were bound so that her legs were spread and she couldn't move. Levi was still fully dressed and had a cane in his hand while he was circling her.

“Look at your beautiful body.”, Levi spoke with a low voice before he would land a hard strike with the cane on her back.

Erwin widened his eyes – there was no mercy in that strike and it made his cock twitch.

She whined and moaned and with shaking lips would stutter: “Tha... thank you, Mister L.”

Another hard strike followed, letting her back twitch and a groan leave her throat.

“Your sweet sounds are... music to my ears.”, Levi spoke as he ran the tip of the cane across her back and slowly got closer.

Erwin's cock got harder and harder in his trousers and the urge to touch himself got bigger with every moment of watching from his half-hidden spot.

Levi positioned himself next to her, on the opposite side of where Erwin was so Erwin could cleary see his bruised face as he let his left hand run across her back, down her spine. “And you know that I like it when your cunt gets wet from what I do with you.”

“Yes, Mister L.”, she breathed as her body reacted to Levi's fingers on her skin.

His hand reached her ass, ran down between her cheeks. “You're so wet.”, he said as his fingers entered her and she let out a moan.

With hard movements he fingered her, odd wet noises filling the room and she would moan, scream almost until he pulled his fingers back, shaking of her wetness and then let them run between her cheeks again, making their way up her spine over her back.

“Soooo wet... you have such a needy cunt, don't you?”, Levi hissed as he grabbed her hair and pulled up her head.

“Yes, Mister L.”, she breathed heavily and Levi would nod with a satisfied smile.

Erwin was rock hard now, his cock was screaming for attention.

Levi moved further, positioned himself in front of her and opened his trousers and then would pull out his cock.

Erwin gulped heavily, now being presented with the very wet back view of the girl and he shortly could glimpse at Levi's cock before he would start to force it down the girls throat.

_Fuck._

Erwin opened the buttons on his trousers. He could feel that the fabric was damp with precum while he reached for his cock.

Levi was fucking that girl's mouth with his cock, moving his hips while he held her head and hair with one hand and let the cane strike down on her back and ass from time to time.

Her muffled whining and groaning mixed with the wet rhythm of Levi's cock that entered and left her mouth, making her gag when he shoved himself down her throat. Levi was almost silent, only his heavy, deep breathing was a constant feedback that he was giving now, no more talking but also no moaning. His eyes were all fixed on the girls face.

Erwin examined the scene, heard the sounds, smelled the body fluids as he started to touch his own cock. He ran his fingers along the full length and suppressed a moan by pressing his lips together while breathing heavy through his nose.

_Oh good lord._

His body had been piling up quite a lot of tension since his accidental reunion with Mary. And now the alcohol, his thoughts about Levi in the past weeks as well as their encounters along with observing this scene now... how could he not give in? Why should he? Levi had invited him to join them anyway...

Levi smirked, as he bit his lower lip and his eyes all of a sudden focused on Erwin.

Erwin's eyes widened and he froze for a moment.

_He knows that I'm watching? Since when?_

Levi continued to satisfy himself with that girls mouth as he stared at Erwin, lips slightly parted, a gentle blush on his cheeks but he wouldn't say anything.

He just stared, as if he wanted to look right into Erwin's head and then his eyes scanned down Erwin's body, rested on his crotch for a moment before his attention went back to the girl, landing some hard strikes on her back.

Erwin continued to satisfy himself, practised movements bringing him closer to the edge with every moment.

_Why am I even watching and why is my body reacting to it? I don't... I never... this had never been to my liking?_

But the moment Levi's eyes focused on him again, he knew why this was different.

It was not the aspect of voyeurism that aroused Erwin but it was Levi.

Seeing Levi like this, observing his behaviour, his passion, his lust and desire... this very twisted way of getting to know him felt intimate and very arousing. And it was intimate on a very different level than when he had held Levi close before.

_You are the devil._

Erwin contested Levi's stare as he continued to please himself with more force now, a brave smile on his face as he licked his lips.

They seemed to correlate since Levi's thrusting got harder as a mischievous smile conquered his face.

The situation was completely surreal and like nothing Erwin had every experienced before.

While they both looked at each other, getting more and more arousal from the presence of the other, satisfying their needs, Erwin could feel his orgasm piling up rather quickly.

And when Levi bit his lower lip, threw his head into his neck rather uncontrolled, Erwin also couldn't delay the inevitable any longer. They broke eye contact for a moment as they both gave in.

With a long, husky moan Erwin came into his hand and trousers. Hidden from Levi's eyes and like some sort of school boy that was peeking on the girls.

Levi now also moaned, hissed as he pushed himself into the girl one last time and then his body shivered, muscles contradicted uncontrolled. Erwin held his breath for a moment to savour the sounds Levi was now giving away. His breathing turned into hoarse moaning and when he looked at Erwin again with a satisfied expression on his face and a confident smile on his lips, Erwin knew that this man was the most beautiful human being he had ever seen. Pure and raw.

And he wanted him.

_What are you doing with me?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Molly house = "Molly-house was a term used in 18th and 19th century England for a meeting place for homosexual men." (Wikipedia)
> 
> This chapter got way longer than I was planning but hey, there's a lot happening. I'm pretty happy with the events that take place and I am very interested in your opinion on the Erwin x Levi relationship (and of course all the other things as well ^-^)
> 
> The next chapter is already outlined <3


	11. Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin tries to find a connection between the victims and finds himself questioning the truthfulness of his past.

Erwin's head was spinning and he had to take a few deep breaths after he had climbed up the stairs and now was fumbling to get the key out of his pocket.

Levi's face, the expression when his climax had taken over, was burned into his mind.

_Beautiful..._

With all there was to it. The smile he had given Erwin – as if he was aware of the impact he had on him. Probably he was and Erwin was just too drunk to understand right now.

His coordination was off from too much alcohol and it took him several attempts to actually get the key in the hole and then open the door to Hans' apartment.

Once he stumbled into the dimly lit living room he could hear two excited, drunk voices, taken by surprise obviously as they giggled and whispered and then a dull thud could be heard, followed by hearty laughter.

_Is Hans seeing someone?_

As drunk as he was he was not completely out of his mind and could read a situation... maybe.

Erwin blinked lazily and a bit irritated as he saw Hans with red cheeks and a wide smile on his face. His fingers were about to close the buttons of his shirt and he obviously had problems to not burst out in laughter.

“Welcome home... Erwin. We didn't know when you would return, we must have forgotten the time.”, he said and really tried his best to not laugh – at least that's what it looked like to Erwin.

_What is going on?_

Erwin furrowed his brows, staggering a bit as he came closer and held on to the furniture on his way.

“We? I only see you...?”, Erwin asked utterly confused.

And that's when someone burst out laughing from behind the sofa that Hans was sitting on and Hans would join in. It was an absurd situation and Erwin gave his colleague a questioning look.

While the doctor lifted his glasses and wiped away tears from laughing, Moblit came crawling around the sofa, probably unable to walk upright – he was laughing so much and there were two empty wine bottles on the table. His hair was a mess and standing in all directions, his shirt was unbuttoned and his face was red.

_Hans and Moblit are having an affair?_

Erwin took a deep breath as he could no longer withstand the absurdity of the situation and smiled as well.

_What a night..._

“So I just became witness of the very private affair my two colleagues are having?”, Erwin asked as he rand a hand through his hair.

“Indeed, yes.”, Hans nodded as he offered Moblit a hand.

“It'd be great if you could keep this to yourself. We don't want to gain unnecessary attention at the police station.”, Moblit said after he had somehow managed to get on the sofa with Hans' help and now was about to close the buttons of his shirt as well.

Erwin was leaning against the desk on the opposite side of the coffee table and nodded.

“Of course I won't share your private affairs at work.”, Erwin agreed. “I wouldn't do that regardless of your preferences.”

_Because I have experienced the aftermath myself when I was younger._

Hans pressed his lips together for a moment and gave Erwin a thankful smile as he put his hand on Moblit's thigh. “We appreciate it, thank you.”

Moblit cleared his throat. “I mean... now that you know about us, we can at least meet here again without all that hide and seek?”, he suggested carefully and was reaching under the coffee table to pull out another bottle of wine.

“Come on... we can't force ourselves on Erwin so bluntly.”, Hans added and raised his eyebrows.

  _Is he trying to silence him? Is Hans afraid of something?_

“You are not... forcing yourself on me. I am a guest here and I'm sorry if my presence has prevented you from seeing each other in the last weeks. I should probably start looking for my own apartment ”, Erwin said and took a deep breath while Moblit filled their glasses again and a third one for Erwin.

“No! Please, don't stress yourself with that in addition to all the things happening at work at the moment. Just stay here for as long as you want to. Really. Moblit and I will make sure to... go into my room next time.”, Hans handed Erwin the glass and offered him an honest smile.

_Who could say no to that?_

“Thank you so much, Hans.”, Erwin said and took the glass before nodding towards Moblit as well.

“To... friendship?”, Hans suggested and they all nodded as they rang their glasses together. “To friendship!”, Erwin and Moblit echoed.

~~~

Although it had been a long night and he definitely felt physically exhausted, Erwin didn't find sleep right away.

The events that had taken place during the evening were all too present on his mind.

The tension that he had felt, all the sexual desires that he had suppressed for the last weeks because he has been too busy after his initial encounter with Mary.

_Mary. My … beautiful Mary._

Whenever his and Levi's paths had crossed there definitely was... something between them. Yet, until tonight, Erwin hadn't been able to fully grasp it, to give it a name.

_Desire._

That's what Erwin identified the pulling sensation in the pit of his stomach as by now. And it was spreading throughout his whole body just by thinking about what had happened tonight.

_I wonder what he thinks of all this? What is his intention?_

Whenever he had tried to grasp the odd attraction between them before tonight, he came to the conclusion that it could have been rivalry – sort of – as well as arrogance or pride that was covering up insecurity from both sides probably. But as much as Erwin was sure that Levi carried a lot of hate within him he also was sure that this hate was deeply rooted in feeling misunderstood.

_Do I feel like people understand me?_

And then there was the undeniable fact that their encounters had been charged with more than just words. There was attraction, physical attraction, and they both were – consciously or unconsciously – flirting. Their eyes met way too often for pure coincidence and the way Levi would look at him...

_Beautiful... he is beautiful._

Erwin sighed as the most recent smile that Levi had presented him crossed his mind once more. If he would be honest with himself, he had been working on getting closer to Levi, somehow.

Both of them, probably, had an interest in getting closer to the other.

_Levi is playing the exact same game – just some of his rules are different._

But was there more to it than _just_ mutual physical attraction?

Their encounters had been way too shallow for Erwin to actually admit to more. But yet he was definitely interested in getting to know more about Levi, spend time with him and see where _this_ would lead.

~~~

“Westminster sent a telegraph for you, Erwin.”, Moblit greeted Erwin on Monday.

“What do they want?”, Erwin asked as he let out a sigh.

“Chief Police Inspector Dawk wants you to come over to Westminster today after lunch. He wants to discuss something that might be related to our serial killer.”, Moblit explained and Erwin pressed his jaws together for a moment.

_I can't let my private affairs interfere with my work._

“Very well – can you send them a telegraph? Let them know that I'll come by after lunch today.”, Erwin said and Moblit nodded.

There had been no murder on the weekend. Just the usual felonies that the lower ranks and even the Constables could deal with. So Erwin took the advantage of being properly rested to go over the files of the victims of the throat slasher once more.

 

VICTIM #1

Anna Fleur

 

25 years old

Prostitute

1,72m

71kg

Black Hair

Grey Eyes

 

Dead body found: ~1:30 AM, Friday, January 24th.

Location: Newark Street / corner Sidney Street

Found by: The owner of the bakery in Sidney Street

Time of death: Thursday, January 23rd, ~11 PM

Cause of death: Drowned in her own blood.

  * Carotid artery and windpipe were cut with a sharp blade

  * Blade length ~12cm



  * Cut across her throat, ~17cm long, ~4cm deep

  * Three small stab wounds on her chest



  * Bruises on her thighs

  * Signs of recent sexual intercourse

  * A single strand of hair was cut off – left temple

  * Her right wrist was broken recently – probably by the murderer

  * Only one ring was removed




Archive ES0179

VICTIM #2

Diana Winter

 

26 years old

Prostitute

1,66m

60kg

Blonde Hair

Blue Eyes

 

Dead body found: 10 PM, Friday, January 24th.

Location: Merceron Street

Found by: A drunk worker on his way to a pub

Time of death: Friday, January 24th, ~7 PM

Cause of death: Drowned in her own blood.

  * Carotid artery and windpipe were cut with a sharp blade

  * Blade length ~15cm

  * Cut across her throat, ~14cm long, ~3cm deep

  * Small cut wounds on her right arm and shoulder – 2-5cm each

  * A single strand of hair was cut off – left temple

  * Signs of recent sexual intercourse

  * No jewellery was removed

  * Her skirt was ripped apart




Archive ES0279

VICTIM #3

Name unknown

 

~24 years old

Prostitute ?

1,64m

73kg

Brown Hair

Green Eyes

 

Dead body found: 11 PM, Friday, January 31st.

Location: Victoria Avenue

Found by: A prostitute and her client

Time of death: Friday, January 31st, 10 PM

Cause of death: Drowned in her own blood.

  * Carotid artery and windpipe were cut with a sharp blade

  * Blade length ~12cm

  * Cut across her throat, ~10cm long, ~3,5cm deep

  * A single strand of hair was cut off – left temple

  * All jewellery was forcefully removed

  * Bruises on her chest

  * No signs of recent sexual intercourse

  * Her blouse was ripped apart




Archive ES0379

 

 VICTIM #4

Olivia Lloyd

 

23 years old

Prostitute

1,67m

80kg

Blonde-Brown Hair

Grey Eyes

  

Dead body found: 1 AM, Sunday, February 9th.

Location: Alley between Cartwright Street & Blue Anchor Yard

Found by: A fisherman

Time of death: Saturday, February 8th, ~10:30 PM

Cause of death: Drowned in her own blood.

  * Carotid artery and windpipe were cut with a sharp blade

  * Blade length ~13cm

  * Cut across her throat, ~16cm long, ~4cm deep

  * Rings were forcefully removed

  * A single strand of hair was cut off – left temple

  * Signs of recent sexual intercourse

  * Her dress was cut open

  * Two small stab wounds in her back

  * All her rings were forcefully removed




Archive ES0479

VICTIM #5

Isabel Magnolia

 

19 years old

Artist ?

1,55m

45kg

Brown-Reddish Hair

Green Eyes

  

Dead body found: 10:30 PM, Saturday, February 15th.

Location: Clearbrook Way

Found by: Two Jewish labourers

Time of death: Saturday, February 15th, ~9 PM

Cause of death: Drowned in her own blood.

  * Carotid artery and windpipe were cut with a sharp blade

  * Blade length ~23cm

  * Cut across her throat, ~15cm long, ~2cm deep

  * No jewellery was removed

  * A single strand of hair was cut off – left temple

  * No signs of recent sexual intercourse

  * Her dress was cut open

  * Three small stab wounds in her back

  * The liver was removed




Archive ES0579

 VICTIM #6

Hannah Diamant

 

27 years old

Waitress in a pub

1,75m

71kg

Brown Hair

Brown Eyes

 

Dead body found: 8:30 PM, Tuesday, February 18th.

Location: Alley between Goulston Street & Middlesex Street

Found by: Mike Zacharias

Time of death: Tuesday, February 18th, ~7:30 PM

Cause of death: Drowned in her own blood.

  * Carotid artery and windpipe were cut with a sharp blade

  * Blade length ~17cm

  * Cut across her throat, ~18cm long, ~4cm deep

  * No jewellery was removed

  * A single strand of hair was cut off – left temple

  * No signs of recent sexual intercourse

  * Her dress was cut open

  * Three small stab wounds in her back

  * The spleen was removed




Archive ES0679

With a sigh he lifted himself from his chair and rolled his neck as he approached the wooden pinboard in his office. A map of London with the locations where the bodies had been found was hanging there along with the profiles of the victims, pictures and anything the newspapers have published about these cases so far.

_Where is the connection?_

Erwin's finger traced along the surface of the map, connecting the victims.

There was no connection that one could point at. What connected them was the manner how they got killed and the fact that they all found an end in east London.

_What is going through the killer's mind?_

Erwin narrowed his eyes, licked his lips as he took a step back to grasp the bigger picture again.

With every murder something changed and every victim was treated differently. Although the one thing that really connected them was the missing strand of hair.

_What is his motive?_

Money?

No, then he would have taken the purses and the jewellery from all of them.

Revenge?

Maybe. But none of the people that were close to the victims we questioned had hinted at any other people that might have a wish to get revenge.

Of course with prostitutes, especially those working on the streets, there was always a chance that they had fucked the wrong men or that they would steal each other's clients – but then why Isabel? Why Hannah? Someone might have a need for revenge on them but the connection to the other girls was missing.

Love?

Very unlikely considering that there were several women and only two have not worked as prostitutes.

Masochistic desire?

Probably to a certain degree but besides the prostitutes … there were no signs of recent sexual intercourse. But then... getting the sexual arousal out of someone else's fear and pain can stick with the brain a lot longer than while it is happening.

Levi's facial expression while he had had his way with the girl in the dungeon crossed his mind and Erwin inhaled sharply.

_Beautiful... he is beautiful._

He loosened the knot of his tie and then reached for the photo of the footprints.

Their killer had to be either rather tall or rather small. But considering that some of the victims were taller than 1.70m, Erwin was tending towards the taller version of their killer.

He definitely knew how to strike fast and silent. How to pick out the right victim at the right time and place.

Did he observe his victims beforehand? Did he know their paths, their routine?

Very unlikely... Isabel had just had an audition, no routine in that.

Erwin sighed as he ran a hand across his face. There had to be a connection between them – and if it was just a crazy thought in the brain of the killer. But Erwin couldn't see it. Not right now.

_But when will I be able to stop him? Or will I betray myself just as I did with my father?_

He shook his head. No, this was different. He was not working alone, he had Hans and Mike, Moblit and other colleagues that supported him. The whole city basically had an interest in finding the murderer and even the newspapers were on their side... for the moment... to a certain degree.

He took a look at the article from 'The Star' again – a newspaper that had a terrible reputation and now Erwin knew why. They were making wild accusations in this case, throwing theories at the people without ever having spoken a single word with the police.

They were just worsening the situation because so far the police and 'The Daily Telegraph' had tried to unify the people, make them cautious.

He might have to talk to Dot about this, see how they usually handled the press.

His eyes scanned the clock on the wall. It was time to eat and then head over to Westminster.

Just thinking about having to face Nile again made his pulse go up...

~~~

When the picture of the streets started to change and less people were to be seen he knew he was leaving Whitechapel. And when the facades started to get more decorative and more and more carriages than people were to be seen he knew he was entering the western parts of the city.

Only a few minutes later he found himself waiting for Nile at the desk of the Embankment Police Station that was way more impressive than Leman Street. Everything was richly decorated and furnished, stone instead of wood, gas lights all over where Leman Street just had sparsely started to exchange their lamps.

The police working here seemed to know him, some at least, and quite some eyes were directed at him.

_Do they know about Mary and me?_

It was very unlikely that anyone had seen them but yet.. he couldn't be sure. But it was more likely that the people working here did know him for his reputation.

Nile let him wait for quite a while and Erwin couldn't help but let his thoughts wander back to _that_ night at Scotland Yard next door.

When he had heard Mary's voice for the first time in more than ten years.

How she had whispered sweet words into his ear, had pulled him close.

The way her body had felt, her lips had tasted, her scent had completely spread throughout his senses.

When they had united their bodies, her legs had been pressing against his back while he had held her, had fucked her against the wall in someone's office, driven by lust, desire, years of not knowing why she had left him...

… It had felt so good, so right …

It was his own, personal revenge on Nile. The man that he used to call his friend back then. The man that had betrayed him together with the woman that he had loved with all his heart.

 _Had_ loved.

This was no more – this was not love. He had been in love with a former version of Mary that he had known and he had been friends with the young Nile who was someone else than the Nile that let him wait after inviting him here.

Why should he deal with the people from his old life, from the past that he didn't want to remember?

It would be best for him to stick to his own life, focus on his work and not invest any time or effort into Nile or Mary... but then there also was...

_Amilia..._

The undeniable truth that Mary had loved him. Or had she? Was it a coincidence that Erwin had been the one to get Mary pregnant? Had she been in love wi-

No, he would not let his thoughts circle around that again.

Amilia was his daughter. There was no doubt.

The name – Erwin had let Mary know about his favourite name for a daughter.

Her age – They must have left right after Mary had found out that she was pregnant.

Her looks – Nothing about her resembled Nile and what Erwin had seen definitely could be his and Mary's child.

Erwin had a daughter, a beautiful daughter that was the living, breathing prove that Mary had loved him... and yet Mary wouldn't tell him, would not let him know in all these years.

Nile surely was an asshole but he was not idiot. He was well aware of Amilia's biological father...

“Chief Police Inspector Smith, Sir.”, the voice of a woman ripped him out of his thoughts as he looked up.

A young, tall woman stood in front of him. Her blonde hair was bound to a ponytail yet a strand was hanging into her face and led the view to her rather big nose. Her steel blue eyes examined Erwin for a moment while he nodded.

“That's me, yes?”

“Chief Police Inspector Dawk will see you now. I'm his secretary, Miss Leonhart. Would you please follow me?”, she said rather uninterested and already turned her back on Erwin as she started to move.

Erwin followed her up to the first floor without Miss Leonhart ever looking back or making sure that Erwin followed her in the first place.

_An odd girl..._

She knocked on a door and without waiting entered.

“Sir, I've brought him here. Do you need anything else?”, she said and Erwin's jaws clenched together when he heard Nile's voice.

“Thank you, Annie. Nothing more for the moment.”, Nile said and then the young woman stepped aside to make way for Erwin.

He took a deep breath as his fingers ran along the collar of his shirt and he stepped into the room that was flooded with light. Being on the first floor with a window to the south on the bank of the River Thames definitely had benefits.

“Erwin... thank you for following my invitation.”, Nile said after Miss Leonhart had closed the door.

Erwin stood just inside the room and eyed Nile.

_What do you want from me?_

“It's my duty as a Chief Police Inspector, as head of investigation in the recent murder series, to follow every possible hint. Your telegraph said that you want to discuss something that is related to our serial killer. So what is it?”, Erwin's voice sounded calm but sharp.

“Yes, I indeed want to share something with you. But why don't you have a seat first? Want a drink? I have some fine gin here...”, Nile offered a smile as he got up from his chair.

Erwin nodded and slowly let himself down in chair in front of Nile's desk while his former friend poured to glasses of gin.

_He still looks like back then and yet his eyes look old. And he must have lost weight..._

“Thank you for coming all the way here. I figured it would be best to share this information in private and not via post or telegraph.”, Nile said as he handed Erwin the glass and then seemed to expect Erwin to speak a little toast or something.

_This is not going to happen, Nile..._

So Erwin just poured down the whole glass in one go before he put it back on Nile's desk and licked his lips.

“So? What do you want to discuss with me?”, he asked with a provocative smile and Nile let down his glass untouched.

“We... had a murder on the weekend. Very similar to those in Whitechapel over the past weeks. The brutality is another level though, nothing I've ever seen before.”, Nile said as he reached for the gin again and refilled Erwin's glass.

Erwin's right eyebrow went up as he pressed his lips together for a moment.

_How suiting – no murder for us this weekend..._

“Her name was Susan Heart. She was a 21 year old woman, engaged with a man who is in trades and in politics. Some rumours say she had an affair with another, younger man – therefore we are also looking for her fiancé but he's nowhere to be found at the moment.”

_An affair? Oh the irony..._

Erwin breathed out and reached for his glass again.

“Her body was found yesterday in the early morning hours by a maid who was on her way to work. She found the body near St. John's Garden, further down south from here.”, Nile explained and then handed Erwin a hand full of photographs.

“I think this is way more... savage than what happened to your victims, right?”, Nile's voice seemed to almost shake as Erwin put down the glass and took the photographs.

His eyes widened and for a moment he forgot to breathe as his quickly went through the pictures, scanning them while he could feel Nile's gaze burning on him.

“Her throat got cut several times and according to our doctor... this was one of the last actions the murderer did. Before that he … removed all fingers on her right hand, cut out her tongue, raped her … then...”, Nile's cleared his throat but Erwin could hear his voice shaking. “Then raped her with a knife. Then he cut her throat and removed her uterus.”

Erwin put down the photographs on the table and picked up his glass again.

The gin burned down his throat and he leaned back as he eyed Nile.

“This is the doing of another person.”, Erwin said and Nile blinked as he pulled back his head.

“How do you know?”, he asked and now took up his own glass.

“Because none of our victims got raped, none of our victim's throats got cut several times. None of out victims got mutilated like her. This is the work of an imitator, someone who wants to make us think they are the throat slasher that the papers have been reporting about.”, Erwin explained and Nile furrowed his brows.

“But you also had signs of recent sexual intercourse on your victims.”, Nile stated.

“Correct, but only on those that had been working as prostitutes. But none of our victims got raped... with a knife for sure.”, Erwin felt his mouth go dry.

“What about the uterus then? Hasn't the throat slasher started to take organs with him?“

“Yes, he has. The liver and the spleen – but his cuts are way more precise. Your victim just got... butchered by someone who clearly had no idea what he was doing.”, Erwin said and took a deep breath. “Also, why cut off the fingers? Why remove the tongue? And why just kill her in the end? This doesn't match with the way the original throat slasher is working. This killer just wants us to think they are the same one as our Whitechapel serial killer.”

Nile took a sip from his glass and pressed his lips together as he reached for the photographs again.

“Maybe you are right, Erwin.”, he breathed out.

_Don't try to fool me. You are probably still good at your job._

“I think you already had figured that out before inviting me here, haven't you?”, Erwin asked and gave Nile an intense gaze. “So why did you ask me to come here?”

Nile gulped heavily as he shifted in his chair – Erwin could clearly see that he felt uncomfortable.

“I...”, Nile took a deep breathe. “I wanted you opinion on that murder... and...”, he broke eye contact with Erwin as he reached for his glass.

_Come one, spit it out. Don't waste my time._

Nile took a big sip from his glass and Erwin raised his eyebrows.

“Mary wants you to come over for tea today. Meet your daughter.”, Nile finally said as his grip around the glass tightened.

_What?_

For a moment Erwin thought he had misunderstood Nile or that his former best friend was joking but when Erwin would just blink at Nile, pulling back his head with a questioning look, the words slowly sunk in.

Mary wanted Erwin to come to their home for tea today so that he could meet his daughter?

“Why?”, was Erwin's reaction after a few moments of heavy silence between them, only the steady tick-tock of the clock gave away that time was passing.

“As I already tried to tell you the other day... I... Mary and I are truly sorry for everything that had happened back then. We had no bad intentions... and it... we want you to have to chance to meet your daughter.”, Nile spoke slowly and Erwin still wasn't too sure that this was real.

“If you are so fucking sorry for the things you have or have not done in the past, then why have you – both of you – never even bothered to contact me, write me a letter, let me know why you were doing this to me, let me know that I have a daughter.”, Erwin's voice remained calm but sharpness crept into his tone.

“We were young, Erwin.”, Nile began as he poured gin into Erwin's glass again.  
“And we didn't know what to do. You were in love with her, I was in love with her, she was in love with... me. But she didn't have the heart to tell you, turn you down once and for all because you loved her so much – of course she should have ended what you had, but it was first love for all of us and we all didn't know what to do. Nobody knew what was wrong and what was right at that time.”, Nile explained and handed Erwin the glass again.

Erwin's eyes were fixed on Nile's, he wanted to be able to see if he was speaking the truth, if he was honest with him or if he was trying to make a fool out of of him once more.

“And then she found out that she was pregnant. Since … only you could have been the father … I panicked, we decided to go away. Leave everything behind and start a new life.”, Nile explained and Erwin widened his eyes.

“How do you mean... you couldn't have been the father?”, Erwin asked.

Nile's eyes focused on the glass in his hand and he took a deep breath.

_Wait... are you kidding me?_

  
Erwin started to laugh – a controlled, low laugh that was more a loud breathing with some chuckles.

“You two didn't fuck back then?”, Erwin smirked.

“No, we didn't.”, Nile said, eyes now focusing on Erwin again.

“This is a bloody joke, isn't it? Are you making fun of me?”, Erwin asked and felt anger piling up.

_How could Mary have chosen him without ever fucking with him?_

“No, this is not a joke, Erwin. I didn't sleep with Mary back then because I wanted her for myself and I knew she was... still is free-spirited. I would let her do whatever she wanted to do until she would want to commit herself. And in that case it meant that I let her sleep with you, because she wanted to.”, Nile explained and Erwin almost dropped his glass.

“You may not understand me, but I always have loved her from the bottom of my heart and I still do. I only want her to be safe and happy, so I would never try to tame her but embrace everything about her.”, Nile said and took another sip from his glass.

Erwin felt numb and unable to form a proper thought.

Had he been too blind back then? Had he been to focused on his own desires and Mary actually had been better off with Nile and his attitude?

Erwin gulped heavily as his shoulders sank down and Nile cleared his throat.

_I am a fool. I never have considered that Nile might have been the better choice for Mary._

“I am sorry if this all comes off as a surprise, Erwin. I can only say again: We tried to do the right thing at that time and it was probably not... but cutting off contact with you seemed to be the best way for a new start here... and once we had settled here and Amilia was born and our everyday life was steady... we didn't _want_ to contact you I guess. Ignoring you was easier than thinking about how to explain all of this to you and the longer we didn't contact you, the more... we forgot about you.”

“Forgot about me?”, Erwin's voice got louder now as he clenched his fist. “How? My daughter was there all the time, sitting at your table with you!”

_You are an arrogant bastard, Nile..._

“I agree that Amilia looks very much like your daughter but I... we raised her in the believe that we're her parents and left no room for interpretation. And I guess this lie became our reality.”, Nile took a sip from his glass.

_Liars... that's what both of you are._

“So you just completely ignored everything that had to do with me... what did I do to you that I deserved to be treated like that?”, Erwin asked.

“You didn't do anything in particular, Erwin. As I said... we were all young, it was first love for all of us and we made some bad decisions... and we are sorry how everything went from there. Really.”, Nile's eyes searched for Erwin's again and he took a deep breath as Erwin contested his glance.

Erwin pressed his jaws together as he felt shame rising. Shame and anger.

He always had assumed that Mary and Nile had acted with the intention to hurt him, to humiliate him... and now he could see so much honesty in Nile's eyes. Could hear words he never would have hoped to hear … or he would have wanted to hear years ago.

But in this very moment he felt ashamed about his own interpretation of their behaviour and angry about their silence. For years his mind had made up stories and now he was confronted with a completely different reality.

_Why do things always... always have to be complicated? Why don't people talk to one another?_

Nile offered him a smile before he cleared his throat.

“Mary and I talked about this new situation with you now being in London. And we immediately agreed that we want to give you the chance to meet your daughter. Not as her father – obviously – but as a friend of her father, if you'd like that.”

~~~

Maybe it was the gin, maybe it was the sheer amount of information that Nile had presented him with... but he agreed.

Just thirty minutes later they arrived at the house where Nile and his family were living and Erwin fought the urge to leave again.

_This is a stupid idea..._

But once he saw her, his own daughter, the absurdity of the situation became irrelevant.

Her light-brown hair was falling over her shoulders in heavy curls. She wore a purple and blue dress that was of fine quality. Her eyes were captivating, a friendly, curious smile on her lips. Faint freckles spread across her cheeks.

Nile's voice sounded as if he was talking to him from far away.

“Amilia, this is Erwin. He's working in another police station. I told you about him recently. Erwin, this is our daughter Amilia.”, they got introduced.

Erwin's eyes widened as they scanned his own flesh and blood that was just as beautiful as her mother but clearly her hair and her eyes gave away that the father had to have light hair and eyes.

She looked so innocent, so pure... and Erwin asked himself if he would have been able to provide for her the same way that Nile had done with Mary.

_You are... beautiful. And you are my daughter...and yet you will never know..._

Just when Nile cleared his throat and Amilia was blinking at him irritated Erwin realized that he had been staring.

“It is my honour to meet you, Amilia.”, Erwin quickly found some words as she did a curtsy and then looked questioning at her  _father_ while Erwin reached for her hand.

“Go ahead, Amilia, he's a friend.”, Nile encouraged her and while Erwin placed a gentle kiss on the back of her hand she spoke to him. For the first time he would hear his daughter's voice.

“The honour is all mine, Mister Erwin. My parents have told me about your honourable work and I wish you all the best.”, she said and Erwin froze.

It was surreal to hear his name from her lips as if he was some stranger... he was, practically... but since his welcome party his heart had started to not only accept but also to savour the fact that he had a daughter.

Her voice was light, like a whisper almost but there was determination that not a lot of girls her age would have or show. It sounded sweet in Erwin's ears and it supported the scent that was surrounding her and that he was inhaling as he slowly pulled back his head and her fingers slowly slipped through his grip.

“Will you help your mother to prepare the tea? Erwin and I will wait in the living room.”

Erwin moved without knowing how to. It all felt like a dream while his legs seemed to somehow carry him.

“Do you still smoke?”, Nile asked after Erwin let himself down on one of the bright sofas with flower prints – definitely something that Mary had chosen.

“I... I quit a few years ago but... since I came to London I find myself falling back into old habits more and more often.”, Erwin said. His brain was way too busy to process everything so he just told the truth.

“Ah... so I have this really mild cigarettes here, faint taste of honey. If you'd like to give it a try?”, Nile offered him the small box with a smile.

_Why are you smiling? Why are you so friendly towards me? Why are we in this situation?_

Erwin took one of the cigarettes and Nile gave him a box of matches before he sat down next to Erwin.

“I know this is not easy and if you feel like leaving, just let me know.”

Shortly after they had sat down Mary and Amilia would join them.

Mary's eyes immediately locked with Erwin's and he had a hard time to break away from the hazelnut brown shards.

Memories of their last encounter flashed before his inner eye.

 _Mary... my_ -

“Erwin, how do you like your tea?”, Nile asked and Erwin gulped heavily. But before he could reply, it was Mary that raised her voice.

“No sugar, just a splash of milk... right?”, she assumed and Erwin breathed out while he nodded.

_She remembers how it used to be more than fifteen years ago. She remembers._

“Mother, how come you know of Mister Erwin's preference for his tea?”, Amilia asked and eyed her mother interested.

_Clever girl._

“We already had tea together, your father, Erwin and I. And I just happened to remember.”, Mary smiled as she continued to server everyone tea.

Amilia would add the sugar and the milk as everyone desired and then sat down next to her mother, on the opposite side of Erwin.

~~~

“Since father is leaving for work again, I will pick up Peter and bring him home?”, Amilia suggested while she and her mother cleaned the coffee table.

“Yes, you can do that, Amilia. Nile, will you make sure that she arrives there safely?”, Mary asked and Nile nodded.

“Of course, darling.”

And with that everyone was about their business while Erwin smoked another cigarette.

_The taste is really pleasant._

He had learned a lot about his daughter and he tried to recall everything.

Birthday: January 3rd 1865.  
Favourite bird: bluebird.  
Favourite season: summer.  
Favourite tea: Darjeeling.  
Favourite colour: yellow.  
Favourite book: Frankenstein by Mary Shelley.  
Favourite flower: wild foxglove.  
Hobbies: Singing, writing, reading, going to the theatre.  
Her dream is to become a Chief Police Inspector just like her _father_... although she's fully aware that that's unlikely to happen because she is a girl.

_She is so clever..._

Erwin was just about to put the cigarette into the ashtray when Mary appeared in his field of view again.

Something was different... the way she moved, the way she looked at him.

As she slowly got closer, cheeks all rosy, Erwin could almost grasp the tension between them, he realized that this could be dangerous.

“Oh Erwin.”, she whined as she – very much not ladylike – lifted up her skirt and straddled Erwin's lap.

Erwin was too surprised to react in time and just managed to hold her by the shoulders and keep er from closing the distance between them.

 _She feels just right..._ _but this is wrong._

His voice was a sharp hissing: “Mary! What are you doing... Nile or Amilia could-”

“They're already gone. We're alone, Erwin. I send them out.”, she whined and tried to lean in again.

_Are you out of your mind?_

“No! Stop... what do you think you're doing?”, he wanted to know.

“What do you think this looks like?”, she asked with a bitter smile and suddenly tears were running from the corners of her eyes.

Erwin blinked irritated, widened his eyes and with his hands cupped her chin.

“Why are you crying?”, he asked as he gently brushed away the tears with his thumbs.

“Because... I missed you so much and I want you... you want me too, right?”, her hands were running over Erwin's shoulders now. 

Erwin closed his eyes for a moment, savoured the pleasant feeling her fingers sent down his back.

_What is happening?_

He felt her weight shifting on his lap and then her breasts pressed against him while her hot breath ran over his throat.

“No... Mary. Please, no.”, he opened his eyes while his hands were gently pushing her away again.

_Not here, in your house. Not after I have met our daughter. Not after Nile had told me how things really had been and are._

“Why not?”, she whined again as she started to move her hips on Erwin's lap and her lips were getting closer again.

“Because we need to talk, Mary.”, Erwin said and took a deep breath.

Her body relaxed as another bitter smile crossed her face.

“You don't understand, do you?”, she asked and and her hands grabbed the seam of his jacket.

_What should I understand? Nobody has been talking to me and now you are all confronting me with facts that I have to deal with..._

“I obviously don't... and that's why I'd like to talk to you.”, Erwin tried to say as calmly as possible.

“Nile and I … it's not the way he might portray it.”, she said and Erwin lifted his eyebrows.

“He is in love with me but I am not in love with him, no more. I probably never truly have been, because of you. He just was really good in manipulating me.”, a sad smile crossed her face. “There's nothing between us – why do you think it took us ten years until we got our own child, hm?”, she breathed out while her fingers ran up towards his collar.

Erwin felt paralyzed.

_Which one of you is the liar? Who is trying to play a game with me?_

Erwin couldn't decide right now but he knew that he wanted... needed... to get out of this situation to be able to look at everything with a neutral point of view.

This was not what he came to London for. Neither Nile, nor Mary, nor his daughter nor any of the drama that started to unfold. He would need to make a cut, focus on what was important.

The woman on his lap that certainly had a strong sexual desire towards him made it incredibly hard though. She felt amazing, her scent was captivating, her looks were stunning, her words were promising and the memory of their time together long ago as well as the rather short encounter a few weeks ago were threatening to lure him into an illusion.

_But what is real at all? What is it between them? What do I want?_

Just when Mary leaned in again a determined smirk on her lips, Erwin couldn't help but think about Levi, the smile he had given him.

_Levi... he is beautiful..._

As much as there was unknown to him about Levi as certain he was that their interest was mutual and that they would be able to meet on another level, mentally and physically.

“Stop! Mary, no.”, Erwin said and raised his voice while he grabbed her wrists.

“I don't want to have a part in your … sick games. I came here to meet our daughter, _my_ daughter and I thought the two of you have good intentions by giving me that chance... but it seems like I was wrong.”, Erwin said as he slowly pushed Mary aside, positioning her on the sofa next to him.

“Get the situation with Nile sorted out and spare me with your problems. Both of you. I am not willing to waste my time and energy with people like you.”

~~~

Spot.

_Quick._

_Silent._

Approach.

_Quick._

_Silent._

Follow.

_Quick._

_Silent._

Wait... wait... wait...

Strike.

“Сладких снов”*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *"Sweet dreams"
> 
> More characters, more relationships, more background and more drama. I had quite a lot of feelings while writing this.
> 
> I started a [map for Dirt & Velvet](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1vfVZ2TbWIZFHNhlaM1GNlmL1Ow4DzK2B&usp=sharing) for you to explore. I have added several points of interest along with pictures and will continue to change / add things as I write this story. I hope this will help you to get a better feeling for distances etc.
> 
> Speaking of: I have to prioritize my bachelor thesis in the next weeks which means I have no idea when I will be updating and I hope you understand.  
> Please feel free to leave comments anyway and message me on Tumblr (I will be on the internet more than I should probably, I just will not open any "writing" files besides my bachelor thesis). But I really appreciate any input / conversation about Dirt & Velvet (you can not believe how fucking happy it makes me that you comment here and also message me on Tumblr <3) and it will just get my sorry ass motivated to be done with my bachelor asap so I can return to Victorian London and pull you all deeper into this story.


	12. Roots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new task for Leman Street arises.  
> Levi connects with his roots before going through inevitable pain but Erwin is there for him again.

“Get out of my way you fucking Hebe.”

"What did you just say?", Levi said while his eyes narrowed and he focused on the man that stood in front of him. He was taller than him – not a big surprise – and he looked dirty.

"You've heard me, right?", the man said, a smirk on his lips.

_Fucking bastard..._

"Of course I've heard you... and I wanted to give you the chance to think about your words.", Levi said as calmly as possible while he could feel his heart rate go further up.

A deep and nasty laughter left the man's throat before he spat on the ground between them.

“I said: Get out of my way you fucking Hebe! And don't think you can intimidate me you ugly midget, ”, the man said.

Within a split second Levi had pulled the knife from his belt and now was pressing the sharp blade against the man's throat while two big hands held his collar.

“Ты мерзавец!" _(You asshole!)_ , Levi hissed as the man's eyes widened in fear before he laughed again.

“And a fucking Russ...”

“Says the man with a knife at his throat – you should chose your next words wisely.”, Levi said calmly “They might be your last...”

He could feel the people eyeing them, paying close attention to the scenery that unfolded in the streets of Limehouse. Levi was on his way to the orphanage where Isabel, Farlan and himself had grown up. He wanted to inform them about Isabel's death and just before he was about to enter the Jewish ghetto he had run into this drunkard.

Levi had been caught up in his thoughts and had realised too late that he was about to collide with the staggering man that crossed the street right in front of him. They just slightly bumped into each other and Levi would have just ignored him, he was not in the mood for a fight – but the guy had seen Levi's necklace, the Star of David, that was dangling on the silver necklace as a pendant and had been hidden under Levi's clothes initially.

It used to be his mother's. A fine, handmade piece which she took utmost care of and would only take it off to clean it properly from time to time. And now Levi would only take it off when necessary too – it was the only thing he had left from his mother.

He could see the man trembling since he seemed to realize that Levi was not the only “Hebe” around – and with a apologetic smile he lifted his hands.

“No need to kill a man for not being one of your folks... I'll just go my way...”, he mumbled and Levi snarled as he stepped back from the man.

“You know shit about me or 'my folks', so shut the hell up and fuck off.”, he hissed before the man turned around and stumbled while he tried to run away.

“Tzk....”, Levi sighed as the collar of his coat was now covered with dirt, probably soot.

With a careful gesture he placed the pendant under his scarf again, dusted down the dirt from his coat and then made his way through the streets that he had spent the majority of his youth in. He knew each and every corner and a odd feeling of sentiment, of long forgotten memories, rushed through his body.

He wouldn't want to look like some run down guy when he would show up at the place were he had grown up after his mother's death. The woman who was in charge, Miss Goldblum, had always treated him kindly no matter how much hardship he had given her. She had also come from Russia and had helped Levi to learn English properly although her own accent was pretty heavy. Something his mother hadn't been able to do.

It had been a few years since he had shown up at the Jewish orphanage and he felt bad that it was Isabel's death that brought him back here now. But he also felt like informing them, letting them know...

“Shalom!”, Levi got greeted by a man he had never seen before.

“A good day to you too.”, he replied and looked around.

_I have been walking without thinking..._

He was in the Jewish ghetto now. Deep in the street of Limehouse a micro cosmos unfolded which had been his home for so long. Kippas and David's Stars could be seen everywhere and English got mixed with a lot of different languages and dialects.

Somehow this felt like home – a very bitter sweet home that he had found after fleeing from Russia as a six year old. And since their arrival here his mother had never been her old self again until she had died. And then his time at the orphanage had begun.

~~~

“ Лев, неужели это ты?!" _(Lev, is that you?!)_ , he got greeted after he had entered the orphanage. Nothing had changed and it almost looked like the day that Levi had left here more than ten years ago.

Lev _… she is probably the only person in the world to call me that._

Miss Goldblum was a chubby, smiling woman with red cheeks and curly, dark hair that she bound to a ponytail. She had aged though, wrinkles spreading across her face and her eyes seemed tired. Yet, the moment she spotted Levi, she offered him a bright smile.

“Да, все верно, это я." _(Yes, it's me.)_ , Levi smiled.

“Oh, my little boy! How are you? How long has it been?”, she asked while she approached him, her accent heavy as always and clearly indicating her Eastern European background.

_Oh... here we go..._

She pulled Levi close, wrapped her arms around him and kissed his hair.

Levi put on a smile and patted her on the back – she was taller than him and the picture they presented probably looked quite odd.

_She still smells like flour and herbs..._

“I'm fine, thank you. It has been more than five years, I guess?”, Levi said as he tried to bring some distance between them.

“Как поживаешь? Как идут твои дела?" _(How are you? How are things going for you?)_ , he asked as they now faced each other.

“Дела мои все в том же порядке..." _(Things are the way they always are...)_ , Miss Goldblum sighed and shook her head. “Let's not talk about … unpleasant things, I'm so glad to see you! Do you want some tea?”, she smiled and Levi nodded.

_She definitely is to blame – besides my mother – that I really like tea._

“Yes, please.”, Levi smiled and followed her to the kitchen.

They talked about the situation of the orphanage, about the crimes in the area, about the safety of the children. Levi soon figured out that something was wrong.

“Пожалуйста, дай мне знать, если я каким-то образом могу тебе помочь." _(Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help._ ), he offered and Miss Goldblum seemed to have problems to keep her countenance.

“Kids are missing. In the last weeks more and more of my kids have disappeared.”, she sobbed and Levi widened his eyes.

“Are you sure they're not just like I used to be? Wandering around, exploring the area, sleep somewhere else and then return to you when their hunger gets too big?”, he asked with an encouraging smile and put his hand on her shaking fingers.

Tears were running down her face as she shook her head with a sad smile. “No, I don't think so. It's too many of them...”

_This is bad..._

“Have you talked to the police?”, Levi asked and cleared his throat.

“Yes, but the police says they have not found any traces yet... and I honestly think they don't care. We're inferior lives to them...”

“I won't argue about that... a lot of people think like that - unfortunately. Is it Limehouse police that you talked to?”, Levi asked as he tried to somehow offer support since he had yet to deliver his bad news.

“Yes, over at Burchfield Street.”, she nodded and wiped away the tears with the back of her hand.

“I will talk with the police in Whitechapel – do you have pictures of the missing kids? Names, ages, descriptions of their looks? Anything I can tell them?”, Levi asked.

“I do have pictures of two of the girls but for the boys I will have to give you descriptions...”, she said and slowly the sadness from her face started to go away.

“Okay, good. Before I leave you will give me everything you have that will help to find them and I will do my best to get the police involved. They will probably send over Constables.”, Levi said with determination.

"Спасибо тебе большое, мой дорогой мальчик. Твоя мать гордилась бы тобой." _(Thank you so much my dear boy. Your mother would be proud of you.)_ , Miss Goldblum smiled and ran a hand through Levi's hair.

_Maybe she would be, maybe she would not be... I try to live to achieve a life that she would have wished for me._

“Please promise to come visit us more often. And you should bring Farlan and Isabel! I know Farlan is probably very busy … but how's Isabel doing? I haven't seen her in at least a year but she used to be the one of the three of you to drop by here most regularly”, Miss Goldblum asked and Levi's body stiffened involuntarily.

_Fuck... how should I phrase it? How do you tell someone that someone they care about died?_

For a moment his thoughts went back to the moment when Smith had presented him Isabel's necklace. It had been straight forward and since his mother's death, which he had witnessed by himself, it was the first time someone had informed him about the passing of a loved one. And Smith had done right to tell him like this. But how to tell Miss Goldblum?

Levi hesitated, jaws pressing together as he took a deep breath – and that's probably what gave it away already. Because the moment he found his voice and made eye contact with her again he could already see the disbelief in Miss Goldblum's eyes.

“Isabel is... she... she's dead.”, Levi said and then all tension seemed to leave his body, his shoulders went down, his neck relaxed and his head dropped to his chest with a long exhale.

There was a moment of silence, only the shallow breathing of Miss Goldblum filled the room and Levi could hear his own heart beat.

_I feel like I've betrayed her, hadn't been there for her, wasn't able to protect her. It's my fault that I let her go to that audition on her own while Farlan and I enjoyed ourselves... It's my fault. Like with my mother when I didn't realise how sick she was, that she needed a doctor. It was my fault that she died._

“Levi, thank you for telling me.”, Miss Goldblum's voice ripped him out of his thoughts and when he looked up he could see a bitter sweet smile on he face while tears were running over her red cheeks.

“Новости столь же мрачны, как и дождь над Невой." _(The news is as dark as the rainfall over the Neva.)_ *, she sobbed. “But I'm glad that you told me, Lev...”, she nodded and took a deep breath.

_She is such a strong woman, raising so many kids, none of them her own, seeing them come and go - but receiving such bad news must be especially hard on her..._

“When? How?”, Miss Goldblum asked as she wiped away her tears.

“On February 15... she got... she's one of the victims of what the newspaper and the police call the throat slasher – you've probably heard about him. She had an audition not far from here and on her way to meet Farlan and me got murdered.”, Levi said with a calm voice and Miss Goldblum closed her eyes.

“The poor child.”, she whispered and then she started to cry again.

~~~

By the time Levi left the orphanage the rain was stronger again and dark clouds were covering the sky while the children were playing in the rain regardless. They enjoyed themselves, lived in the moment and took as much from it as they could.

Farlan and Isabel used to be like that too – and had always tried to get Levi involved in their plays; forgetting the world around them, just being content and present. But Levi never fully had been able to play along... no matter how hard he had tried.

He had been more of a troublemaker, running away, stealing cigarettes and selling them. Then he bought sweets from the money and returned to the orphanage to share them with Isabel and Farlan. Life had always been about survival for him, about getting better - not necessarily becoming a better person – and now he was a 30 year old man that lived a double life.

There was his true life; raw, brutal, ruthless and violent. It provided him with money which made it possible for him to enjoy his life as much as possible while saving up money to start a new life – although until recently this had included taking Isabel away from here, to a safe place...

And then there was his fake life; fascinating, interesting and socially accepted. People admired him for his ambition and all Levi did was lie. But how could he look Farlan or Miss Goldblum in the eye and tell them: “I steal from people, I blackmail people, I threaten people, I beat people up, I sometimes kill people and I even fuck with people – because that's what I'm good at and nothing more.”? He couldn't tell them the truth.

Some of the Jewish children approached him as he made his way through the mud on the ground before the orphanage.

“Shalom, Mister! Will you adopt one of us?”, a boy asked him bravely and Levi shook his head.

“No.”, he breathed out as the rain clattered heavily on his umbrella. “I wouldn't be a good father at all. But you are lucky that you have Miss Goldblum, make sure to always be kind to her, you hear me?”, Levi said.

“Yes, Mister!”, the boy nodded.

_Maybe he knows something...._

“Miss Goldblum is worried about you... some of the children have gone missing. Do you know anything about that? Do you have any idea where they might have gone?”, Levi asked as friendly as possible.

“No, Mister. I don't.”, the boy said, a bit too fast maybe and Levi took a shilling from his pocket.

“You really don't know?”, he asked again and another child, a girl with dark curls, was the one to take the coin.

“I know something.”, she said with a fierce smile.

~~~

“Thank you, Mister Levi. The information you provided will definitely help us to get an investigation started. I'm sorry again that our colleagues in Limehouse seem to have failed to recognize the public interest in this case.”, Police Inspector Berner said as he sorted the notes and pictures that Levi had handed over to him.

_I would guess that you're either into Jewish girls or that you are just faking to be so understanding._

“And I'd like to talk with the Chief Police Inspector about this. Now.”, Levi added.

_Some of the information shouldn't get spoken out loud in the middle of a police station. And although our last encounter was rather.... unique, I want him to be aware of the whole dimension of this._

“Oh, I'm afraid he's not here at the moment.”, Berner explained with a smile.

Levi furrowed his brows. “Do you know when he will be back?”, he asked.

“Unfortunately I don't.”, was the rather short reply.

Levi sighed.

_Are you going to make me ask all the questions?_

“So, can you tell me where he is? Maybe that would help us to get an idea when he might be back?”, Levi asked, his tone giving away his impatience.

“He's in the eastern part of the city, he left about two hours ago. So I really don't know whe-”, and then Police Inspector Berner blinked irritated.

“Good evening gentlemen.”, Erwin said and furrowed his brows as he saw Levi.

_He's soaking wet and still looks impressive..._

~~~

“Thank you very much for all the information you provided and the details you just have told me. I will make sure that our Constables get in contact with your Miss Goldblum.”, Erwin said, fingers tracing over the picture of the twin girls that had gone missing from the orphanage.

_This city indeed is a repetitive cycle of crime and violence. Oh well, not even a cycle, it's a mountain and every day the people add to it._

“You're aware that should I hear from Miss Goldblum that you haven't contacted her or updated her on the case that you will have to deal with me?”, Levi asked with a deep breath.

_Threatening me? Maybe our last encounter made him brave._

“I am fully aware....Mister Levi.”, Erwin cleared his throat. “And while we're at it; you owe me a dinner.”

Levi raised his eyebrows and it looked like he held his breath for a moment.

“Very well, Chief Police Inspector. But I want to inform you that I will not pay for your dinner. You are getting way too much money for the lousy job you are doing anyway.”, Levi said.

Erwin breathed out with a smile.

_Can he ever be friendly?_

“So then I may invite you? How about tomorrow?”, Erwin asked while he pulled out his diary from the drawer of his desk without paying further attention to Levi.

“What would you like to eat? Maybe a French restaurant? Or a Indian?”, Erwin asked further as he opened his diary.

The silence was irritating and Erwin slowly lifted his head just so see Levi's face frozen, eyes fixed on a point somewhere on Erwin's desk, the man absent minded.

“Is everything all right?”, Erwin asked as he gulped heavily.

_Fuck... Indian food was what he had while Isabel got murdered, that was careless of me._

“I have made arrangements for Isabel's funeral. It is tomorrow in the evening, so I'm afraid I can't make it. And also I 'd prefer to not eat Indian foot any time soon.”, Levi said with a shaky voice as he slowly broke free from his gaze and blinked.

“I... I'm sorry, of course I understand. When would be best for you then?”, Erwin asked, his thoughts a bit uncoordinated.

“I don't know yet.”

Dark eyes met Erwin's and for a moment they just looked at each other.

_Captivating... his eyes are captivating._

Neither of them felt the urge to look away on the contrary Erwin felt his body shifting in his chair, leaning in to somehow be closer to Levi.

Memories of the dark dungeon, of their somehow intimate moment, arose on Erwin's mind and his lips parted as he could see Levi's tongue scarcely wetting his lips.

_What is happening. He just told me about his friend's funeral and now we are looking at each other like this? I'm probably interpreting his gestures wrong..._

Erwin cleared his throat as he leaned back again, the moment between them cut off.

“Would you be so kind as to inform me when you would be free?”, Erwin suggested and received a nod.

_Is he blushing?_

“Yes.... and now excuse me. Have a good day.”, Levi hastily spoke and then got up and ready to leave.

“Wait!”, Erwin said, his voice getting a bit louder ans he got up from his chair.

Levi looked at him irritated, their height difference playing in favour of Erwin's demand to wait as the smaller man froze in his movement.

“Who will be with you at the funeral? Do you have a friend to be there for you?”, Erwin asked as he walked around his desk.

Levi took a deep breath.

“Farlan will be there, my friend from Miss Nanaba's house.”

_That's a lie – I can tell although I hardly know you._

“Then... take care and please contact me when you need to.”, Erwin said and rose his hand. Without much thinking he was aiming for Levi's cheek.

Levi stared at him with those dark eyes again and only when Erwin could almost feel the heat that radiated from Levi's skin, he would withdraw and pull back his hand.

_What am I doing?_

“I will.”, Levi said and then turned around and left.

Erwin stood in front of his desk, staring and the door and didn't know what he was doing.

_I act like a fool. This man is grieving a dear friend and I'm pressuring him to go eating with me._

Erwin ran a hand over his face and headed over to the cabinet to pour himself a glass of gin.

He gulped down the first glass quickly just to pour another one that followed a bit slower.

_How should I go about this? How can I … support him?_

~~~

“Thank you, Eren! I will buy BB's for you tomorrow!”, Erwin patted him on the shoulder and then left the police station to get into the next carriage.

The whole day had been just as grey and rainy as yesterday and while Erwin had instructed his Constables about the situation in Limehouse, he couldn't prevent that his thoughts circled back to Levi all the time. He would be at Isabel's funeral today and he would probably suffer a lot.

So around lunch time he had asked Moblit to check all Jewish funerals that were held today. And to Erwin's surprise there were quite a few.

Thenhe had instructed Hans to check with the undertaker that had picked up Isabel's corpse and then they had send Constable Jaeger to go there and find out where the funeral would be held.

And now he was on his way to the Jewish cemetery outside of London.

_I bet you want her to have quiet place to rest, to find peace...._

The weather made the carriage ride quite uncomfortable and the cold crept into Erwin's bones. By the time they arrived at the site, next to a small forest, Erwin was freezing and his thoughts were numbed.

In the city nature's force seemed less impressive than here. Loud thunder and bright lightning created a surreal atmosphere while he paid the driver.

_What am I even doing here?_

His shoes sank into ankle deep mud and the wind was bringing rain from all directions. Within a minute his cloak was wet, as well as his trousers, his shirt, his jacket, his hat – his umbrella was useless.

When he entered the small cemetery it was hard to see anything really since the wall of rain and the grey tombstones melted into one big canvas. So he started to walk and followed a path slightly uphill.

There was not a single soul to be seen and when he checked his pocket watch - it was 6 PM – he furrowed his brows. Eren had informed him that the funeral was at quarter to six so there should be more people here.

And suddenly he could see the funeral... and it made his heart ache and his throat go dry.

_No … no... Levi, why are you doing this to yourself?_

Under a big willow tree on top of the small hill he saw him. He was just a stone's throw away and Erwin could clearly see the absurd scenery.

Levi was wearing a white buttoned shirt and his black jacket was put aside, covering something on the muddy ground. He was soaking wet, trousers and shirt sticking to Levi's trembling body while he was digging with a shovel, mud and dirt splattering around. His hair stuck to his forehead, his breath became visible as small clouds of breath and hie cheeks were glowing red.

Erwin stood there for a moment, unable to react and just tried to focus. His thoughts circled back to his father's death – the funeral which he hadn't attended because he was desperately trying to find the murderer... and Levi now did the exact opposite...

Erwin dropped his umbrella and crossed the small distance between them with a short sprint. The rain drowned all sounds but his heart beat and his boots sinking into the muddy ground. Levi only seemed to realize his presence when he was just a few metres away.

Red, tired eyes looked at him in disbelief. One of the most desperate, pained and raw sounds Erwin had ever heard left Levi's throat as he dug into the muddy ground once more and then screamed at Erwin.

“What the fuck are you doing here? Leave now! Go away!”, Levi's voice sounded hoarse and distant.

He held onto the handle of the shovel, leaned over it to catch some air. His body was shivering, the freezing cold rain poured down on them merciless while the thin branches of the willow provided hardly any protection.

_He's completely exhausted, at his limits, mentally and physically._

“I wanted to partake in the funeral. I … wanted to be here for you.”, Erwin said and slowly approached Levi.

“No! Don't! Go away... this is not your business, Smith. You still have a murderer to catch or this funeral wouldn't happen in the first place.”, Levi's voice got louder and Erwin lifted his hands with a calming motion.

Levi pressed his jaws together, inhaling sharply as he eyed Levi who didn't pay further attention to Erwin and continued to dig a while into the ground.

_He has a point._

For a few moments only the steady sound of the metal getting rammed into the ground and Levi's strained breathing could be heard besides the heavy rain falling onto the ground.

Seeing Levi like this, completely drowning himself in the moment, desperately trying to act and pretend like he's in control … Erwin felt like the universe was mocking him. Levi, right now, was a reflection of him.

_What would I want in a situation like this? What would I truly want?_

Erwin took a deep breath and then started to unbutton his coat. Levi still ignored him, furiously was digging into the muddy ground and just when a hand touched his shoulder, he would freeze in his motion.

_What is that idiot doing here anyway?_

“Let me help you, okay?”, Erwin asked him but it was less a question and more a fact.

“No! I said-”, Levi got cut off by his own surprise when Erwin took the shovel from his hand and in return placed his coat around Levi's shoulders.

“Let me help you.”, Erwin said again, this time there was not room for interpretation as Erwin rolled up the sleeves of his shirt before he continued Levi's work.

_You idiot... you fucking idiot._

Erwin looked way to good while doing this dirty work and yet Levi got distracted from his current mindset for a moment which was good.

“It just needs to be deep. The urn is rather small.”, Levi heard himself speak with a thin voice as he revealed the golden and green vessel below his jacket.

Erwin just nodded and Levi could see he was scanning the urn from the corner of his eyes. They seemed to be brighter than usual and stood out in the dark surrounding.

Levi's eyes rested on Erwin while the man continued the thankless task. But Levi didn't want anyone to be here. Not even Farlan. He just had paid for the best spot on the cemetery and had ordered the undertaker to bring the urn here and then leave again. Everything else was a thing between him, his conscience and Isabel.

He had been like her big brother, more than Farlan and he had failed to protect her.

_It is my fault._

He wanted to have this intimate moment of goodbye all for himself. He was selfish and it almost seemed ironic that Erwin was here with him.

Levi now realized that he was shaking because he was wet to the bones and the cold rain still poured down from the sky. He pulled Erwin's coat closer around his shoulders, felt the fabric between his fingers and then a nice warm rush ran down his spine.

_His coat smells good although I can clearly sense the biting smell of gin... but it's his scent, clearly._

His eyes lazily lay on Erwin's body as he worked intensely but also had the same struggle as Levi before; the muddy ground didn't make it necessarily easy to dig a hole. He was muscular under the clothes that soon were sticking to his body and his blond hair was falling into his face in wet strands as his breathing got louder.

He was putting all there was into it although this here was not his matter...

“That's enough I think.”, Levi said at some point and Erwin would roll his neck with a cracking sound when he stopped and stood back.

_This is it, Isabel. This is goodbye._

Levi picked up the urn with shaky hands, staring at it without blinking for a moment.

“You want me to do that?”, Erwin offered as he slowly got closer again.

Levi just shook his head, not looking at Erwin but closing his eyes and pressing the urn against his chest, holding it close.

_I am so sorry, Isabel. I am so sorry, I hope you will find peace now._

Then Levi fell to his knees, mud splattering up and Erwin was about to reach out for him, approaching him carefully.

“I'm okay.”, Levi said hastily before Erwin could ask.

His forehead fell against the urn as he whispered: “Farewell, Isabel. We will see each other in a better life again. I love you.” and then he let the urn down into the hole in the ground.

His hands trembled when he was searching his pockets to pull out the necklace with the magnolia pendant.

He closed his eyes as he placed a kiss on the fine jewellery.

“I'm sorry...”, he whispered and couldn't avoid that tears started to run down his face. This was beyond his control. The greatest pain he could remember in the last 20 years took over.

He let the necklace down into Isabel's grave and then started to sob uncontrolled.

His head fell to his chest, his shoulders were trembling and tears were running down his face while his mind went blank.

~~~

Erwin had paid close attention to Levi while he said his goodbye to Isabel.

That he had fallen to his knees had made Erwin really attentive since Levi had made the impression of a man who cared a great deal about cleanliness, yet he was kneeling in the wet, cold, muddy soil on a cemetery.

Seeing his shaky fingers holding the urn and then taking out the necklace; saying his last words – Erwin could feel Levi's pain and it made his chest feel tight.

He then filled up the hole while he let Levi weep, express his grief and would not disturb him for quite a while.

_I was not able to mourn my father like this and seeing Levi in this state makes me want to go to Eastbourne and visit my father's grave._

But he wouldn't. Not now, maybe not even this year. Instead he would sympathize with Levi who showed his vulnerable side once more to Erwin.

It pained him to see Levi like this and yet he tried to ask himself: What would I want in a situation like this?

And the answers was clear...

After a while Erwin could no longer just let Levi be by himself so he approached him, knelt next to him and pulled him close, put his arm around him so that the other one could bury his face against Erwin's neck.

“I'm here. Just let me know what you need.”, Erwin whispered against Levi's wet hair while shaky fingers held on to his jacket and Erwin ran his fingers through Levi's wet hair.

He lost track of time while they just were close to each other. He felt Levi's body, his heart beat, his breath and every sob that made his body tremble. Tears were burning hot against his skin and and whenever Levi's fingers slipped from his jacket, Levi would take a deep breath and hold on again.

_Why do I only know your two faces; your aggressive, self-defending acting and your completely devastated and vulnerable break downs? I would like to get to know the real you..._

The darker it got, the lighter the rain became. And at some point, Levi seemed to have found his inner peace. Erwin's legs had started to hurt really bad at some point but now he could no longer feel them at all.

“Let's go.”, Levi finally whispered as he lifted his head from Erwin's neck and gave him a short, thankful smile. His face was all covered in tears and rain and mud and they both were shaking as they somehow managed to get up, helping each other with damp and shaky hands and numb legs.

Levi was about to take off Erwin's coat that was muddy all over and completely wet from inside and outside as he reached for his own but Erwin shook his head.

“There's no difference now anyway, just keep it.”, he said and picked up Levi's coat and then offered Levi a smile.

_I want to make sure he is not suffering all alone, that you takes care of himself, that he does not hurt himself._

“May I accompany you home? Make sure you are not doing something you shouldn't do?”, Erwin asked before he had to sneeze all of a sudden.

“Why did you come here in the first place? You're an idiot... that got a cold now.”, Levi sighed as they slowly made their way down the small hill.

“As I already said; I want to be here for you... to help you. Nobody has to carry all the pain in this world alone and although we may not even be acquaintances yet I would really like to help you. So I would like to get to know you better, Levi.”, Erwin said.

“So I can call you Erwin now too?”, Levi mumbled.

“If you'd like that...”, Erwin smiled.

“I guess I could. I mean you jerked off in front of me and you've seen me mourning for Isabel – not even Farlan, who I call my best friend, has done any oft that.”, Levi smirked before he also had to sneeze.

Both men looked at each other, blinking irritated for a moment – and then laughed about the absurdity of the moment.

_Hearing you laugh is so refreshing, something completely new. It's not forced or a role you play, it's your real you – and it's as beautiful as your appearance._

~~~

They soon found a carriage – although they had to walk to the nearest pub – and were on their way to inner London.

Both men were dwelling I their thoughts while their eyes met from time to time. And like at 'The Golden Elephant' in that ill-fated night the tension between them grew every time grey met blue. They didn't speak the entire ride but the non-verbal communication was all the more intense – except sudden sneezing from both men that would let them smile.

They were both soaking wet, freezing, yet Erwin felt warm and comfortable and he appreciated every shy smile that Levi offered him.

 _Does he know about the impact he's having on me? Is he aware of his own body language?_  
  
And even the things that Levi didn't do on purpose fascinated Erwin. The way the water ran down his face, followed the line of his nose, the fine eyebrows. How it got caught in those dark, long lashes. The sharp curve of his jaw and chin also gave his facial feature a unique look. Levi was beautiful in a way that Erwin had never seen in a person before. And he felt drawn to Levi the longer he looked at him. Raw, exotic somehow - he wanted to know about Levi's origin. He wanted to get to know so much more about this man.  
  
When they finally arrived in London – Levi had given the carriage driver his address – Erwin was sure that Levi would refuse to promise to come by Leman Street the next day. He seemed to have mostly recovered – more or less considering the situation.

_He probably has a way stronger character than the current situation might let it seem._

But when they got out of the carriage and Erwin wanted to address his plea that Levi should come by the next day so he would know that he was all right, Levi was the one to speak first.

“I know you are worrying about me.", he started and Erwin blinked irritated.

_I might be too easy to read._

"And you will probably ask me to come by the police station or make an appointment for dinner so that you have an indicator if I'm all right at a certain time in the future or not.”, Levi said and Erwin raised his eyebrows.

_His wits is as sharp as ever._

“Yes, I indeed would ha-”, Erwin got cut off.

“There's no need for that, Erwin. I want you to come upstairs with me. Now.”, Levi said with a low voice.

A shiver ran through Erwin's body and he wetted his lips.

_Is he implying something?_

Erwin just nodded and with a wild beating heart he was following Levi up the narrow staircase to his apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Neva = river that runs through St. Petersburg
> 
> _Russian translations done by the wonderful and inspiring[anastasiabeksinski](https://anastasiabeksinski.tumblr.com/). Thank you so much!_
> 
> ~~~
> 
> My bachelor is still not even WIP because of 3245057 things that happened in real life and I decided to just write this chapter nevertheless. 
> 
> While writing Dirt & Velvet I feel good and happy and this is what I desperately needed - although I had tears in my eyes while writing this chapter. So now you have an update before I'm declaring my "hiatus" until after my bachelor again. But maybe I will just write regardless - because Erwin and Levi give me so much positivity and I really want to write the next chapter :3 I also plan on an Eruri tattoo at the moment (/^▽^)/ and my love for these two grows every day. Honestly, I love Erwin and Levi so much I just could cry by thinking about their love. Dirt & Velvet is so dear to me and I'm thankful for every comment / feedback since this story will stick with me (and therefore: you) for quite a while and your comments are my fuel. 
> 
> Was this chapter too depressing? Or did the end make up for it? What do you think will happen
> 
> I will also update the [Google Map](https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/viewer?mid=1vfVZ2TbWIZFHNhlaM1GNlmL1Ow4DzK2B&ll=51.138878403694946%2C-0.40652635000003556&z=9) asap! 
> 
> And I have added a lot of sad songs to my [Spotify-Playlist for Dirt & Velvet ](https://open.spotify.com/user/1183789420/playlist/3ppnIPOjQX1f1Vzir0F2fw?si=d4kFAKNkTZqSa8p1iTuHgQ)


	13. Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin wants Levi.  
> Levi wants Erwin.  
> Erwin gives Levi what he wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo here we are. I hope people are still reading this >_> because I plan on updating more regularly now :3
> 
> My bachelor thesis is handed in and I am waiting for the feedback (and hopefully my degree ^^) - so now I can fully immerse myself into writing wonderful, beautiful Eruris. 
> 
> Enjoy the slow burn burning a bit faster and hotter now :>
> 
> P.S.: I have also updated the [Spotify-Playlist for Dirt & Velvet ](https://open.spotify.com/user/1183789420/playlist/3ppnIPOjQX1f1Vzir0F2fw?si=d4kFAKNkTZqSa8p1iTuHgQ) with quite a lot of new songs.

Before they started to climb up the stairs Levi opened the lock to the fire wood with a small lock pick – as always – and handed Erwin some pieces of wood without any further comment. He took some himself and then he closed the lock again.

Erwin breathed out with a confused smile.

_A man of many talents...._

Silently they both made their way up to Levi's attic apartment. The wooden steps, as well as some families behind closed doors, were the only sounds that could be heard – besides an uncontrolled sneeze from Erwin. The situation seemed odd and Erwin was drawn between seeing this invitation as acquaintance and... maybe more?

The gazes they had exchanged just now, the overall encounters between them, the subtle flirting...

As soon as Levi stopped to search for his key in his pocket, Erwin frowned.

_What are we doing here?_

Levi was still wearing his coat that was covered in mud and dirt, it was too wide around the shoulders. The fabric was soaking wet and the seam touched the ground as Levi opened the door to his apartment.

Erwin followed Levi inside and immediately realised that he would not be able to stand upright everywhere in the room. The ceiling was quite low in some areas.

They let down the wood next to the door and when Levi closed the door behind Erwin their hands brushed. For a moment both men froze.

Levi looked up to Erwin, eyes wide, lips slightly parted and Erwin found himself staring down at Levi, jaws pressed together.

_He looks like a mess – like a beautiful mess …_

Levi's face was pale, his eyes had deep shadows below them, his hair was sticking to his forehead, he was shaking.... Erwin gulped heavily before he inhaled deeply. Without further thinking he lifted his right hand, reached for Levi's cheek and leaned in.

_I really want to... taste-_

But before he could touch Levi's face with his hand, the smaller man raised his voice, a bit thin but determined as he exhaled sharply and brought some distance between them.

“I'll prepare some tea, if you want to have a bath you will have to get water from the well in the backyard. And while you're at it, you can bring some more fire wood because it's fucking cold here.”, Levi spoke hurriedly as he opened the door again.

Erwin blinked irritated for a moment, pulled back his hand and head. He felt stupid...

_Did I go too far? Was I interpreting too much?_

Erwin cleared his throat. He was tired, exhausted, confused about Levi's invitation and even more confused about his words just now.

_But a hot bath indeed sounds nice._

“I'll go get some water.”, Erwin agreed to give them both a few minutes to think about the situation.

~~~

Levi hung up the drenched coat – it was ruined and he would certainly have to buy Erwin a new one if he wouldn't want to come across as some asshole.

He ran his hands through his wet hair.

_Idiot. Why did I fucking ask him to come upstairs with me?_

Levi wanted nothing more than to be alone, have tea, smoke some opium, have a hot bath and dwell in his pain...

Or did he maybe prefer to have Erwin with him? To break free from his self-destructive behaviour and routine and embrace this man who seemed to care about him? Who looked good and smelled good and probably was a good person? Upright and honest, handsome and caring...

_What am I thinking...?_

He was everything that Levi wasn't and yet they mutually seemed to be drawn to one another and with every chance encounter – as bitter, odd or macabre they might be – they seemed to connect more... build up on this unique tension they had.

So why shouldn't Levi just go for it? Take everything he could get his hands on and then see how he could benefit from it? This was how he used to see and treat people most of the time; as ladder rungs out of this miserable life, as a chance for the life he longed for. Except for those that really meant something to him... and Erwin surely didn't mean anything to him. It was just his looks and their talent to run into each other that left an impression.

He lit some candles and gas lamps all over the apartment – it was late in the evening and dark clouds covered the sky so no light would fall into the attic apartment through the small window.

While he started to get a small fire going in the stove he tried to ignore the cold that seemed to get stronger now that Erwin was no longer here with him. The idea to be very close to him, to feel his bare skin, to feel his hands on his own body-

_That's stupid..._

Levi shook his head. All his previous encounters on an intimate level with men had left a very bitter taste and therefore he had decided to just not give in the temptation anymore. He had slept with men out of curiosity, attraction, and when he was rather young, to survive – and luckily he now was able to do the last on his own. Each encounter in the past he had regretted and his desire had become more and more of a fantasy.

So why should it be different now? It surely wouldn't be. Erwin seemed like the kind of man who was a good actor – similar to Levi probably but yet different. Erwin was someone who would pretend to be caring to get closer to somebody and then he would just go for his instincts, his own pleasure and needs when it was about time.

_And I will not give you that victory._

But yet he couldn't deny that he was physically drawn to Erwin, stronger than to anyone in the last years and that every time they saw each other he could almost grasp the tension between them. And just a few minutes ago when Levi had decided to break the tension Erwin had been about to bring their relation to a new level.

_Maybe I should have let it-_

A knock on his door ripped him out of his thoughts and he opened the door for Erwin who was carrying two big buckets of water with him and some more logs under his arms.

“Take off your shoes.”, Levi instructed Erwin.

~~~

Levi continued to prepare their tea while Erwin filled the water into the bath tub and then started to get a fire going to get the water heated.

The silence between them was rather odd and neither Erwin nor Levi seemed to know how to go on after the almost-kiss a few minutes ago.

So Erwin decided to have a look around the apartment. It would probably give him a better understanding of Levi.

While he wandered around – the wooden floor creaking below his feet – examining the simple furniture, feeling the materials, inhaling the unique scent that every apartment had – and Levi's apartment smelled rather pleasant, sweet and heavy yet not as penetrant as at Miss Nanaba's house – he could feel Levi's eyes on him.

_Is he afraid that I might find something that could bring him in trouble? Is he just not used to having visitors – or people around him in general? Is he afraid that I might think bad of him for some odd reason?_

Erwin's attention got caught by a small metal box – it looked expensive and therefore its content would probably be of fine quality.

He examined Levi from the corner of his eyes – he was busy pouring the tea – and then let his fingers run over the silver container in the shelf.

“I would appreciate if you would not touch my belongings without asking first.”, Levi suddenly said.

“Pardon me, you're absolutely right.”, Erwin agreed as he pulled back his hand. “I just try to prevent myself from doing something stupid like before you sent me down to get water.”, Erwin breathed out with a smirk.

_Let's see how you deal with that._

“Tsk...”, Levi sighed and nodded towards his bed. “Sit over there, I don't have any fancy chairs.”, he instructed Erwin.

Erwin did as he was told and sat on the edge of Levi's bed, a simple metal frame with a comfortable mattress on it, while he got handed a cup of hot, steaming tea.

“Thank you.”, he said and held the cup firm with both hands, soaking up the radiating heat.

“It will get warmer in here pretty soon – with a fire in the stove and now a fire under the bathtub it's only a matter of minutes. I mean this place is fucking small.”, Levi explained and Erwin offered him a smile.

“No need to explain yourself, Levi. It's fine.”, he said. “I'm glad that you invited me to be here and I think you have quite a nice apartment.”

Levi breathed out as he leaned against the bath tub, just a good metre away from Erwin.

“Well, it doesn't take much to live like a half-decent human being but most people seem to prefer to live like a pig in this shithole of a city.”, he explained.

Erwin inhaled the scent of the tea and then took a sip.

_Fine quality, strong flavour but mild taste... it is suiting for Levi._

Then there was silence again between the two men. This time a way more pleasant silence since the room started to get warmer and both men enjoyed their tea.

Erwin felt the cold fading from his body and he relaxed more and more with every moment. All the strains of the day slowly died down and for the first time in weeks he actually forgot about all the troubles that he was carrying around. The warm and soft light throughout the small apartment made it almost appear like a dream, like it didn't belong into this cruel, raw world.

Erwin was just present, breathing slowly and inhaling deeply while Levi put his cup aside. Erwin's eyes focused on the motion.

_His hands look delicate and soft..._

Without saying something Levi found Erwin's gaze and when he was sure that Erwin looked into his eyes, his finger began to unbutton his shirt.

Erwin blinked as he raised his eyebrows but didn't break eye contact with Levi.

_What is he doing?_

Levi soon pulled the fabric of his shirt out of his trousers and opened all the buttons but wouldn't take the damped fabric off yet.

His shoulders moved steadily under deep breathing as he started to unbutton his trousers.

Levi’s grey eyes seemed to stare into Erwin's soul, similar to their encounter in the dungeon and Erwin couldn't look away although the temptation was there. But by looking into Levi's eyes he felt way closer to him than he could by looking at his body that slowly got revealed.

Erwin gulped heavily as Levi kicked his trousers aside and they lost eye contact for a moment. With shaky fingers he placed his tea cup on the night stand next to him before Levi got his attention back.

And this time it was his body that Erwin looked at as he scanned all the wonderful places that Levi presented him.

_He is beautiful..._

Erwin inhaled deeply as Levi pushed down the fabric of his knickers and yet would still cover his body with the fabric of his shirt that was covering half his thighs.

_I want to touch him... feel him... embrace him..._

Erwin could feel his heart rate going up and all the remaining cold leaving his body.

The muscular legs and the toned chest looked even more impressive with the orange-yellowish lights from the candles and gas lamps that let Levi's skin shimmer golden almost. Yet it gave Levi the surreal touch just as the whole situation.

_Maybe this is a dream? And I fell asleep in the carriage?_

Then Erwin's attention went back to Levi's face when he parted his lips and bit down on his lower lip in the next moment with a confident smile on his face.

_Why did he turn me down just a few minutes ago? Why is he doing this to me now? Is he just playing with me?_

Erwin could feel his body inevitably reacting to Levi and his actions. He could hear his increased heartbeat in his ears, feel blood rushing to the middle of his body while his palms got sweaty, his breathing got faster and shallower – and it all felt way more intense than it usually did.

_Is it because I know barely anything about you? Because you could just pretend all of this to get a knife to my throat – to get your personal revenge for Isabel?_

His thoughts went into directions he would never have thought of and yet he felt at ease as if everything was right and good in this very moment.

Their eyes met again and Erwin let out a desperate sigh. The way Levi looked at him was beyond anything that Erwin would have expected.

The thoughts in Erwin's head started to slowly fade away, because only what was in front of Erwin was important. Because Levi was real.

Levi was fully aware of the impact he had on Erwin, that he had had all the time indeed, and he savoured the power he had over this man right now.

He had seen Erwin's eyes all over him whenever they had met and when they had had their odd moment in the darkness of the dungeon he had seen so much desire, so much longing in those beautiful blue eyes...

_But right here, right now... you are way closer, so what will you do?_

Levi smirked as he turned around, presented Erwin his back and gave him a look over the shoulder before he climbed into the tub, shirt still on his body.

The hot water burned his skin – he had been so cold for such a long time – in a pleasant way and he couldn't suppress a gentle moan while the hot liquid washed around his body as he slowly let himself down.

After he had submerged himself he ran his hands through his hair and sighed relieved as he made himself comfortable.

He had ignored Erwin for a few moments and when he turned his head to the side, he couldn't help but smirk.

_What's wrong with you now?_

Erwin was still sitting on the edge of Levi's bed but his body language was far from relaxed as it was before, his hands were clinging into the fabrics of his trousers, his nasal wings were widened while he inhaled deeply – somehow it seemed like he forced himself to stay over there.

_Come on... don't be so fucking upright. Or did I put too much opium in your tea? Or maybe too little? Just... relax, feel the moment._

Levi lifted his right hand so that the soaking wet shirt would stick to his arm and he licked his lips as he signed Erwin to come closer with an inviting gesture.

Erwin almost didn't dare to blink since Levi had gotten himself into the bathtub. He had savoured every single inch of Levi's body that he had been able to look at. He had seen him in the box event before but there had been a lot more distance between them and this moment was so different...

_What is he doing?_

Levi had ignored him for a few moments before he now was looking directly at Erwin again. Erwin didn't dare to breathe for a moment as Levi's arm, covered in the soaking wet shirt, rose out of the water and he gestured him to come over.  
Erwin's body moved on instinct. He got up from the edge of the bed, legs shaking for a moment as he filled his lungs with oxygen.

The expression on Levi's face was fascinating. He seemed relaxed, in control, eager to get closer to Erwin – and Erwin's body left no doubt that he wanted the same.

Erwin only had to take one step to stand next to Levi, to be able to look as his body from above, see through the soaking wet fabric, eye every inch of Levi's front. And Levi presented himself very lustful, teeth biting down on his lower lip, cheeks slightly red, eyes half closed as his left hand stroke along his cock.

Erwin didn't know where to look first, how to not miss a single moment of this incredible beautiful human being that presented himself in such a desirable way.

The water was in gentle motion as Levi's arm was moving steadily, his hand having a good hold on his cock.

All Erwin could do was watch; stare – he wouldn't even dare to reach out, to touch Levi himself, since he didn't want to destroy this beautiful picture of the rather small man, laying relaxed in his bathtub, pale skin shimmering mysterious under ever-moving water.

_He is beautiful...._

Levi was almost amused to see how reluctant Erwin was, how tame he seemed to be in this very moment.

_How long will you stand there and watch me?_

Yet he couldn't deny that he liked the way Erwin looked at him, treated him. It showed that this man not only was fascinated by him but he also respected him and wouldn't push himself onto Levi.

He continued to please himself with gentle strokes, sometimes closing his eyes, and at some point his breathing turned into soft moaning. This was also when Erwin made a sound; a deep groan, almost a hum from the core of his body.

“Give me your hand...”, Levi said as he lifted his right hand out of the water.

Erwin widened his eyes and the next moment the tall man sank onto his knees, to be able to reach Levi.

_So eager..._

Erwin offered his right hand to Levi who let his fingers run over the back of Erwin's big hand and the taller one breathed in deeply.

_Why is he so tense? Did I not use enough opium?_

“You want to touch me, right?”, Levi asked with a husky voice and licked his lips.

“Yes, I do want to touch you.”, Erwin replied within a split second, his voice sounding oddly stressed and he held his breath for moment.

A smirk spread on Levi's lips as he gently took Erwin's fingers into his hand and pulled them underwater along with the shirt that he was wearing. With a determined motion Levi guided Erwin's finger over his body. He let Erwin feel his abs through he fabric of his wet shirt, his groin, his thigh and then he put his hand around Erwin's.

It felt odd since Levi's hand was much smaller, his fingers more slender than Erwin's and yet he was the one that was in control. It was also a rare occasion that Levi got touched like this by anybody... and he wasn't all too sure if he really liked it but yet he couldn't prevent his body from reacting to the gentle touch from another person.

_This feels better than I would have thought...._

Levi licked his lips, breathed out long and relaxed as his eyes closed and he let out a natural sigh when he put Erwin's hand around his cock.

Erwin's breathing had become more and more uneasy with every moment and then, when Levi's palm had been placed on the back of his hand, he had held his breath for a moment.

It felt like an eternity while Levi guided his fingers over the toned body and Erwin again didn't know where to look at as his fingers were placed around Levi's cock.

Erwin's eyes widened as he focused on Levi's face, soft moan leaving his lips as his head fell back slowly and he held Erwin's hand in place.

_He is beautiful...._

Levi's body felt amazing and now finally touching his cock was wonderful. The sensitive skin reacted promptly, naturally and yet all Erwin was looking at was Levi's face. Soft yet uncontrolled twitches were running over the unique facial features.

His thin brows, his long eyelashes, his upturned nose, his soft lips, his high cheekbones, his small chin – Levi was by far one of the most unique looking men Erwin had ever encountered and he was drawn to him... more than he probably was willing to admit.

When Levi's hand started to gently move Erwin's hand, both men let out sensual sounds. Erwin a deep groan and Levi a soft moan before his breath stuttered and his hips moved up, pushing his cock into Erwin's hand and fist.

“Fuck.”, Levi moaned as his hand put more pressure onto Erwin's hand and therefore his cock while he moved his hips up again.

The water in the bathtub started to move more and some splashes reached Levi's face.

Erwin let his hand get controlled by Levi as he just focused on Levi's face – from time to time examining the toned chest when Levi took a deep breath before moaning again.

_You are good.... you are very good._

Levi was caught in his own lust but yet he realised that Erwin did exactly what he was told to – which made it way easier for Levi to fully savour the moment.

He reached for Erwin's left hand that had been resting on the edge of the bathtub and guided his hand to his torso.

“Touch me.”, he demanded and let go off Erwin's hand. He wanted to see, to feel, what the Chief Police Inspector would do with him, if he would not guide him.

Erwin reacted to everything that Levi offered him, he soaked up every single moment and was as present in time and place as he hadn't been in a long time.

_What are you doing with me?_

His left hand was positioned on Levi's abdomen and then both his hands were free to act. He took a deep breath.

Slowly his right hand took up motion again, letting Levi feel gentle pressure as he moved his hand similar to the way Levi just had guided him.

The smaller man let out a relaxed moan, closed his eyes and a shudder ran through his body.

“Good?”, Erwin whispered.

“Hmhmmm.”, Levi breathed in and nodded as his hands reached for the edge of the bathtub to hold on to.

While keeping a steady motion with his right hand, varying in speed, intensity and pressure, Erwin slowly started to explore Levi's body with his left hand. The shirt Levi was wearing was sticking to his body, yet it seemed to only add to the sensation for both men.

Levi's muscles twitched as Erwin's hand moved over his abdomen, gently scratched over toned thighs just to slowly wander further up. Erwin's erection was pressing hard against his trousers just as in the dungeon the other night – but now he would take care of Levi.

_I wonder if...._

Erwin breathed out and licked his lips as his left hand circled Levi's nipple, resulting in a shudder and when he finally pinched the sensitive skin, Levi inhaled sharply and his hips pushed up into Erwin's fist. A pleased smile spread on Erwin's face.

Erwin changed his position, lifted his body a bit and leaned over the bathub. While his left hand was now reaching for Levi's other nipple his mouth wandered over Levi's chest.

The warm water added to the sensation and Erwin's head felt dizzy while his right hand continued to touch Levi's cock, wandering along the full length of the shaft. Sometimes he would let his thumb run over the sensitive tip, circle it before he returned to full strokes.

He let his tongue wander over Levi's chest, the wet fabric felt odd but he got a wonderful reaction from Levi who's body shuddered and he could feel goosebumps spreading over Levi's body although he was in the warm water.

Erwin's teeth gently scratched over Levi's left nipple while the fingers of his left hand gently rubbed the right nipple.

_Why I he so good at this.... ?_

Levi's head was spinning and holding on to the edge of the bathtub seemed to be necessary. His body felt alive like it hasn't in a long time, maybe never before. Blood was running through his veins, his lungs demanded oxygen, he felt every touch, every little movement of Erwin's hands and now his mouth on his body.... and it all felt good.

“Fuck.”, Levi moaned when Erwin gently bit down on his erect nipple just to suck on it a moment later.

A deep groan left Erwin's throat as he breathed out against Levi's chest, his lips slowly placing soft kisses all over his collarbone.

Levi pressed his jaws together, inhaled deeply as he tried to stay focused on the hand on his cock. Erwin had quickly picked up the way Levi liked to get touched and yet it was something completely different because it was not Levi who touched himself but the Chief Police Inspector.

Someone else was touching him and giving him pleasure because he wanted it. He was in control...

The feeling was empowering and just when Levi was about to start moving his hip again, he froze in his motion.

_What do you think you're doing?_

Erwin's lips had made their way over his throat and he was now wandering along his jaw. He could hear the deep breathing, could feel the heat of Erwin's breath while blonde locks touched his skin.

“May I kiss you?”, Erwin suddenly whispered against his skin.

The question didn't seem strange or odd, nor did Erwin sound like he was insecure. But it just fell in line with the way that Erwin had treated him.... respectful.

Yet, Levi's eyes snapped open and it felt like his heart skipped a beat and his body tensed.

_Why?_

His initial question soon got replaced by his childish attempt to explain it to himself, to find an answer but it was too complex and complicated for this very moment.

Erwin was about to ruin this and so Levi brought his right hand between them while his left hand got a good grip of the blonde hair.

He slowly pulled back Erwin's head while at the same time he placed his hand on Erwin's chest and brought more distance between them.

_Better...._

Erwin had held his breath for moment, had stopped moving his hands on Levi's body after he had asked his question. Would Levi have prefered that Erwin would just have done it, kissed him?

Obviously not...

Small yet strong fingers grabbed his hair and Levi's right hand pushed him back by his chest. Erwin found himself sitting on his heels again, left hand holding on to the edge of the bathtub.

_Did I go too far?_

Erwin's erection was pressing hard against his thigh and yet he wouldn't dare to touch himself. He inhaled deeply, closed his eyes for a moment before he gulped heavily.

Levi's right hand was still placed on his chest and he savoured the touch.

“Just look at me, Chief Police Inspector.”, Levi breathed out with a confident smile and Erwin opened his eyes again.

Levi sucked on his lower lip as he started to pinch his left nipple and moving his hips up again. A soft moan left Levi's lips as his head fell back.

“Oh god...”, Erwin breathed out while Levi's fingers ran over his chest.

_Are you trying to kill me? You're.... stunning._

Levi was pleased to see that his guest followed along again and while the big hand started to stroke his cock again, he could feel the blue eyes on his body.

When had someone looked at him the way that Erwin was looking at him right now? Probably never before...

“More.”, Levi breathed as he opened his eyes again, his fingers now scratching over Erwin's shirt; he could feel the muscles below and contested Erwin's gaze. Those beautiful blue eyes were fucking him on another level than the physical contact the two just had. Erwin was too good for this world... probably, yet the desire, the heat and lust that was burning deep inside of him was making this situation all the more sensual.

Erwin followed his command, sped up the movement of his hand while Levi continued to touch his own nipples and causing the water to splash over the bathtub by the motion of his hips.

_This is so much better than I would have ever thought it could be..._

Levi's breathing became more uncontrolled, more erratic. He felt his muscles twitching and a a sensational feeling running down his spine. He pulled his legs closer, spreading them more, giving Erwin's big hand more space.

And the taller one made good use of it.

_He is beautiful..._

Erwin's eyes were fixed on Levi's face again. He was soaking up every motion, every change in his expression, every uncontrolled twitch. The soft blush on the pale face and the soft red shimmer on Levi's lips made him look unreal, like he didn't belong in this world.... and yet this was real. Very real.

“Don't stop...”, Levi demanded as he closed his eyes again, his head falling back once more and his whole body seemed to stiffen as he grasped for air. His hand pulled on the fabric of Erwin's shirt as he took a fist full of it and then suddenly released his grip.

For a second only Erwin's steady motion with his right arm and the disturbance of the water could be heard and then Levi's voice cracked and with a long, deep moan his orgasm rolled through his body.

He shuddered, his muscles twitched and when the climax reached his cock hot waves of sperm spilled over Erwin's forearm and hand and into the bathtub.

Levi's moaning was hoarse and uncontrolled, his left hand was holding on to the edge of the bathtub again and with his right hand he was clinging on to Erwin's shirt again. His eyebrows were tightened as his body moved in slow motions, like a wave almost and he watched his cock in Erwin's hand spilling some last drops. He hadn't come like this in a long time and he couldn't remember if he had ever savoured the touch of another men like this before ….

“Enough.”, Levi sighed and let go of Erwin's shirt, grabbing Erwin's wrist and pushing his arm away.

Erwin blinked irritated as he was still kneeling next to the bathtub, his eyes scanning Levi's beautiful body.

_I want to touch you more, feel you more, embrace you more..._

Suddenly the tension between them shifted as Levi's facial expression became strict and he looked directly at Erwin.

“You can go now.”, he let the Chief Police Inspector know.

“Wha-”, Erwin got cut off.

“I would appreciate if you would grant me some privacy and go now.”, Levi explained.

_No... no... why? What did I do wrong?_

Erwin was confused and his look obviously revealed his state of mind as Levi breathed out amused and lifted his right hand out of the water. He let his fingers run along Erwin's jaw with a smile.

“I guess you can help yourself out. I'll come by Leman Street in the next days to replace your coat.”, he pulled back his hand and gestured towards the door.

While Erwin slowly moved to grab his jacket and then put on his shoes – not without looking back at Levi several times, facial expression utterly confused – Levi had become clear headed with his orgasm again.

As sensual and nice it was to be close to someone, to let someone else touch him and make him feel incredibly good, as confusing it was for Levi and he needed some space now.

_Why did I let this happen?_

He had never been in intimate relationships with people on a mutual level, based on trust or something silly like feelings. Most of his encounters with people had been one-sided, unequal, imbalanced – and Levi had been on both ends of the inequality already.

But this experience with the Chief Police Inspector right now had been something new... something he wasn't sure of how to think about it yet.

~~~

“Are you all right, Erwin? You look.... terrible. What on earth happened?”, Hans asked as he widened his eyes.

“I'm all right... thank you. Sorry to trouble you.”, Erwin said with an apologetic smile towards Hans and Moblit who were sitting on the large red sofa.

“Are you sure? You are soaking wet, where is your coat? Have you taken something?”, Hans asked further as he got up from the sofa, sharing concerned looks with Moblit.

“Yes, I'm sure, really. I haven't taken anything. No need to worry.”, Erwin explained himself as he was aiming for the stair case ...

“Don't you want to take a hot bath? Have some tea? Should I heat you some stew?”, Hans offered and Moblit had gotten up from the sofa as well.

“You should listen to Hans, he's the doctor.”, he nodded and put his hand on Hans' shoulder.

“Thank you for your concern, both of you.”, Erwin stopped and gave them a warm smile. “But right now I just want to... sleep. I might not come to work tomorrow... and I apologize in advance.”, he said and started to climb up the stairs.

“Good lord, Erwin! Talk to us – we are your friends!”, Hans' voice got louder and more concerned while Erwin pulled his body up, using his arms to make his way.

“I am sorry, Hans”, he said when he had arrived at the top and was about to enter his room. “This is none of your business. I wish you a good night.”

_What should I tell you? I am confused myself...._

Moments later he started to feel the cold again and so he got a fire going in his room. His motions were way more controlled than when he had left at Levi's place a few minutes ago.

_He lives so close by and I had no idea...._

Then he would undress, clean himself with a piece of cloth and the cold water from the bowl in his room – it made his mind clearer as well and by the time he was lying in his bed, he fully realized what had happened.

The whole time in Levi's apartment played in front of his inner eye, he remembered every little thing. Every scent, every gaze, every touch, every sound, everything about this place and about Levi.

_My beautiful Levi...._

And yet he felt like he hadn't really been there, like his memory betrayed him... but he had been there, of that he was sure. And he had done the things that Levi invited him to, of that he was sure too....

Yet it all felt odd, like his consciousness had been put aside from the moment he had sat down on Levi's bed and...

_The tea! He must have put something in my tea!_

Erwin blinked into the night; the flames from the small fire were dancing along the ceiling of his room.

_Why? Why did Levi drug me?_

Obviously now the drug was about to or was fully worn off – but Levi had wanted him to feel the effects of the drug while he had been there. Yet Erwin – as far as he could remember and considering his memory didn't betray him – had only done things the way he would have done normally as well...  
He frowned as he breathed out.

He somehow felt betrayed, yet it only showed him how much distance there was between him and that man he hardly knew.

_I want to get to know him better, to learn more about him. I want to spend time with him._

Erwin licked his lips as he closed his eyes and all the pictures showed up again as he put his hand around his cock.

_And I want to touch him… feel him… embrace him… more and more often..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed wrting it. (And I hope everyone could follow along their positioning in / at the bathtub >_>) 
> 
> There is plenty of more Dirt & Velvet in my head that I will write and share with you and I am so happy that now I can finally focus on writing again <3 !!!  
> Any feedback is appreciated, I can only benefit from it. (And if you just want to fangirl in the comments, I'm super happy that too :) )


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